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I have one weird reservation - her daughter is/was 24, but doesn't seem to have been involved a whole lot? Or maybe it's just written that way on purpose? Mayb

I have one weird reservation - her daughter is/was 24, but doesn't seem to have been involved a whole lot? Or maybe it's just written that way on purpose? Maybe it's just me, but leaving someone to mope seems a little like you're treating them as more a child than an adult.

krenoten 13y ago
The author claimed to have been a private eye in the 80s, and presumably knew how to investigate with some degree of success. It's not clear how much experience, capacity or energy her victimized daughter had in this time of great distress.
sliverstorm 13y ago
eaving someone to mope seems a little like you're treating them as more a child than an adult ... yes?
dllthomas 13y ago
I'm not entirely unsympathetic to this point, but I think it's frequently harder to deal with emotionally fraught things like this for oneself than for another. So long as you're there to do the same for others, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to let someone help you with it.
stephen 13y ago
Do you have kids? Perhaps you don't understand the righteous anger that a parent would feel in this scenario. If this happened to my kid, I would also completely take over, and want them involved as little as possible. Yes, even if they were 24.
- Glyptodon 13y ago
  Of course I'd want to on some level, but I'd also want to make sure that even if I helped I'd also be imparting the skills for them to accomplish things on their own. I think I view enabling a child's independence as a parent's most important job, particularly in light of the often random and occasionally capricious nature of death.
  - chris_wot 13y ago
    That's a nice sentiment, but when your child's life is being systematically destroyed by pathologically perverted harassers then you just deal with the situation. Your argument is a little like saying that the best time to teach first aid is when your kid has a gaping chest wound.
- PeterisP 13y ago
  Well, no, if the "kid" is 24-years old then assistance and support is required, but 'taking over' seems reasonable only if they're in a coma after an accident. After all, it's their life, and any decisions on how/wether to proceed and what to avoid are completely theirs to make - they may take advice from parents, or they also may not want their parents to have any say whatsover in how to handle it.

krenoten 13y ago

The author claimed to have been a private eye in the 80s, and presumably knew how to investigate with some degree of success. It's not clear how much experience, capacity or energy her victimized daughter had in this time of great distress.

sliverstorm 13y ago

eaving someone to mope seems a little like you're treating them as more a child than an adult ... yes?

dllthomas 13y ago

I'm not entirely unsympathetic to this point, but I think it's frequently harder to deal with emotionally fraught things like this for oneself than for another. So long as you're there to do the same for others, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to let someone help you with it.

stephen 13y ago

Do you have kids? Perhaps you don't understand the righteous anger that a parent would feel in this scenario. If this happened to my kid, I would also completely take over, and want them involved as little as possible. Yes, even if they were 24.

Glyptodon 13y ago
Of course I'd want to on some level, but I'd also want to make sure that even if I helped I'd also be imparting the skills for them to accomplish things on their own. I think I view enabling a child's independence as a parent's most important job, particularly in light of the often random and occasionally capricious nature of death.
- chris_wot 13y ago
  That's a nice sentiment, but when your child's life is being systematically destroyed by pathologically perverted harassers then you just deal with the situation. Your argument is a little like saying that the best time to teach first aid is when your kid has a gaping chest wound.
PeterisP 13y ago
Well, no, if the "kid" is 24-years old then assistance and support is required, but 'taking over' seems reasonable only if they're in a coma after an accident. After all, it's their life, and any decisions on how/wether to proceed and what to avoid are completely theirs to make - they may take advice from parents, or they also may not want their parents to have any say whatsover in how to handle it.