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I actually live a quite isolated existence. I dont really like most people and am very happy this way (I can read, program, play games, make music etc. in peace

I actually live a quite isolated existence. I dont really like most people and am very happy this way (I can read, program, play games, make music etc. in peace and not deal with the tediousness of having to interact with people I find boring) However, I do occasionally meet other people (maybe a bit like me in some ways) and we get on incredibly well. Every week or two when we feel sociable I will meet one of them for intense session of something. Also the people I really get on with could be any age/sex, one is a 50 yo man, another is a 20 yo girl.

muhuk 13y ago
How did you come to meet them? (if you don't mind me asking)
- everyone 13y ago
  Np. College, work, house-sharing, school (one who I met over 20 years ago) Though I have gone to college twice and worked in many many jobs. The most recent intense-friend I made was at a college halloween party the year before last. I'm am generally not into wasting time with people but when I do socialise I like to go to house parties and whatnot. I reckon for me to find one of these special people who I click with is just a statistical probability, I might find one every few 1000 people I meet, so it makes sense to go to events and meet as many people as possible. I was actually going to suggest any big event where you and everyone else are likely to be drunk is a great way to meet lots of people. Also its handy if one of my good friends is also really generally sociable, then I will meet people/find out about parties and stuff through them. They do suffer a slight attrition rate as, for example, a few have moved to different countries for work. The cool thing is if one had been gone for years when we do meet up again it is like no time has passed. I have 2 in the city I live in atm. Which is fine. Only need 1 imo, but if I had 0 I think I would start feeling lonely.
  - psbp 13y ago
    I think you're right on with the probability of personalities clicking. I'm a pretty outgoing person, but I've only met a handful of people in my lifetime who I genuinely enjoy being around. I think I'm pretty lucky that I happened to meet them, or maybe we just gravitated towards each other.
scotty79 13y ago
Meeting people every week or two is having isolated existence? I often don't see my closest (and pretty much only) friends for few months.
- everyone 13y ago
  Yeah that happens to me too. Every week or two is probably the most frequent. I dont mind that, I know when we do meet up it will be fun! and in the meantime I can spend more time working on my many projects. Though if I really feel like meeting up I will make a big effort and keep bugging them until we do.
dougk16 13y ago
As I think the article points out somewhere, loneliness and being alone are different things...you can feel lonely in a crowded room, and all that. You have people to interact with when loneliness starts creeping in...so good! It just sounds like your threshold for isolation turning into actual loneliness is higher than most people. I think my threshold is pretty similar, but the danger comes in when those few people you have to interact with move away or otherwise become unavailable, then it can become hard to meet new people because you're so out of practice.
- everyone 13y ago
  Yeah, see my comment below. It was really amazing and life-affirming to meet my new friend 2 years ago, but if you just keep a baseline level of meeting new people I think its statistically likely you will meet one. This does mean u have to go to events and things with lots of people, but only once every few months + it can involve something you love like music or games or whatever.
- rfnslyr 13y ago
  > I think my threshold is pretty similar, but the danger comes in when those few people you have to interact with move away or otherwise become unavailable, then it can become hard to meet new people because you're so out of practice. I moved away from everyone I know, I have no friends currently. It really, really sucks. :|

muhuk 13y ago

How did you come to meet them? (if you don't mind me asking)

everyone 13y ago
Np. College, work, house-sharing, school (one who I met over 20 years ago) Though I have gone to college twice and worked in many many jobs. The most recent intense-friend I made was at a college halloween party the year before last. I'm am generally not into wasting time with people but when I do socialise I like to go to house parties and whatnot. I reckon for me to find one of these special people who I click with is just a statistical probability, I might find one every few 1000 people I meet, so it makes sense to go to events and meet as many people as possible. I was actually going to suggest any big event where you and everyone else are likely to be drunk is a great way to meet lots of people. Also its handy if one of my good friends is also really generally sociable, then I will meet people/find out about parties and stuff through them. They do suffer a slight attrition rate as, for example, a few have moved to different countries for work. The cool thing is if one had been gone for years when we do meet up again it is like no time has passed. I have 2 in the city I live in atm. Which is fine. Only need 1 imo, but if I had 0 I think I would start feeling lonely.
- psbp 13y ago
  I think you're right on with the probability of personalities clicking. I'm a pretty outgoing person, but I've only met a handful of people in my lifetime who I genuinely enjoy being around. I think I'm pretty lucky that I happened to meet them, or maybe we just gravitated towards each other.

scotty79 13y ago

Meeting people every week or two is having isolated existence? I often don't see my closest (and pretty much only) friends for few months.

everyone 13y ago
Yeah that happens to me too. Every week or two is probably the most frequent. I dont mind that, I know when we do meet up it will be fun! and in the meantime I can spend more time working on my many projects. Though if I really feel like meeting up I will make a big effort and keep bugging them until we do.

dougk16 13y ago

As I think the article points out somewhere, loneliness and being alone are different things...you can feel lonely in a crowded room, and all that. You have people to interact with when loneliness starts creeping in...so good! It just sounds like your threshold for isolation turning into actual loneliness is higher than most people. I think my threshold is pretty similar, but the danger comes in when those few people you have to interact with move away or otherwise become unavailable, then it can become hard to meet new people because you're so out of practice.

everyone 13y ago
Yeah, see my comment below. It was really amazing and life-affirming to meet my new friend 2 years ago, but if you just keep a baseline level of meeting new people I think its statistically likely you will meet one. This does mean u have to go to events and things with lots of people, but only once every few months + it can involve something you love like music or games or whatever.
rfnslyr 13y ago
> I think my threshold is pretty similar, but the danger comes in when those few people you have to interact with move away or otherwise become unavailable, then it can become hard to meet new people because you're so out of practice. I moved away from everyone I know, I have no friends currently. It really, really sucks. :|