4 ms·

Stories like this are why I work 40 hours per week at my full time job at an investment bank and then work 20 hours per week doing side consulting. Right or wr

by 300bps 13y ago

Stories like this are why I work 40 hours per week at my full time job at an investment bank and then work 20 hours per week doing side consulting. Right or wrong, I believe that "There but for the grace of God go I". As he says in the article: I made a thousand decisions, large and small, that seemed reasonable at the time but cumulatively led to our situation This type of thing keeps me up at night. Should I take the night off watching a TV show or get more work done? Should I go to every single one of my kids' activities or should I spend some of them at home working? Having grown up relatively poor, I don't want to return to that and stories like this are scary.

chmullig 13y ago
I think you should learn from his later conclusion: He realized that people matter much more than money. Don't miss your children's childhoods for a few extra bucks, it's not worth it.
cgag 13y ago
Save/invest a large percentage of your income, 50+ ideally. If you're making > 650k in a year, 500k in savings doesn't actually sound all that prudent. That's really secondary though, step one is to not have 8 kids.
- larrys 13y ago
  "step one is to not have 8 kids" Really shows how intelligence and common sense are two different things. Or making decisions based on emotionality and what you want. Just because you want 8 kids (or 5 or whatever) doesn't mean it's a good idea to have that many kids. And just because you think your passion is being a comedy writer doesn't mean it's a good idea to take that career path or take that gamble. I mean I would imagine it would have been possible when he was offered the dream job by Tom Arnold to look at it rationality (hard but possible) and know enough about the business to realize the gamble he was taking. As opposed to the gamble that a person fresh out of college w/o kids or a family in the same "go for the brass ring" situation.
  - dnr 13y ago
    The alternative to taking that job was staying in magazine publishing. Magazine publishing has probably done even worse than comedy writing over that time period.
- goggles99 13y ago
  >step one is to not have 8 kids Having 8 kids does not have to be as expensive as you think. You can get clothes for next to nothing (or free if you are really poor), rooms can be shared, hand-me-down toys and clothes. Food is really the only expense that multiplies. But if you are making big batches of food and using raw materials (large bags of rice, pasta or beans from Costco come to mind) it really does not have to be that expensive. The author states how important it was to them to keep the kids in the best schools. This suggests that hey had fallen into a trap that many have. They believe that their kids will be better off if they have the best of everything (clothes, schooling, food, housing). This simply is not true. Look at what happened. The family was completely split into pieces. Some of the kids became almost foster kids. The mother abandoned some of the younger ones. Is this really better than a middle class family that stays together and has a lower standard of living? The other part of this is, parents are fooled into thinking that they should work 60hrs a week so their kids will be better off. Their kids meanwhile are being raised by some strangers most of the time (day-care, after school care). The kids would rather just have the parent around than a bunch of extra toys, clothes and video games. The worst part is, the parent is not there teaching them haw to be upstanding and respectable men and women. Teaching them work ethic, discipline, values, morality, ETC. How foolish this man was. He deserves the life he has been relegated to. His kids don't though - and I do feel sorry for them. Disagree with me? This man made over 10 million dollars during his life and he is only in his early fifties.
larrys 13y ago
Well how much "suffering" is it for you to work the way you do? I mean no pain no gain. If you want to win a race you have to train, right? In this case the race is making sure you have enough socked away so you can be financially secure if you ever lose your ib bank job. Or just making enough to live a nice life. Not having to worry about money is also a stress reliever and gives you one less thing to lose sleep over. Nobody ever lost sleep over working hard, right? "Should I go to every single one of my kids' activities or should I spend some of them at home working?" Well, when your kids get old-er they will care more about what you can do for them that requires money. Not whether you missed a game or not. I've had girlfriends in the past with parents that have been the parent at everything they do. And once the child reaches late high school or college age they care more that their friend has a vacation home and that their dad can't pay for college or buy them things. So I'm firmly in the camp of "miss the events and make money". Other will tell you differently. Not that kids whose parents aren't around don't whine or you won't find a kid who has a "rich" parent who says they would have rather spent more time with them. That's what they say. But the truth is that's short sighted.
- zaidf 13y ago
  So I'm firmly in the camp of "miss the events and make money". Other will tell you differently. Not that kids whose parents aren't around don't whine or you won't find a kid who has a "rich" parent who says they would have rather spent more time with them. That's what they say. But the truth is that's short sighted. Right on! When my father's job hook up in Dubai fell apart, he called my mom informing her that he can either return home to India to continue his struggling career or he can come to the US on a visit visa. My mom told him to take his chances and then spent hours tearing up, unclear how she was going to take care of four little kids. It would take another seven years before my dad could get the rest of his family here. For all of that time, I barely knew my dad(there was no VoIP:). But the end result--or even the goal--made it all worth it.
  - larrys 13y ago
    You know what? There are americans that feel the way you do (and that I do) and they were raised in immigrant families more than likely. (As I was.) So it doesn't surprise me at all to hear that your father did what he did and now you see how glad you are that he made those choices which you benefited from. Not to mention what you mother went through.
steven2012 13y ago
I felt this way back during the dot-com bust. I was worried that a single bad choice on my end would lead to my entire bloodline failing, and I eventually had panic attacks, health problems, etc. My advice to you is, give yourself some slack. Even if you make a few mistakes, it won't lead to catastrophic failure. Don't worry about work. Save your money dutifully, and go to your kids activities. You'll realize that there will always be opportunity as long as you're making good solid decisions. But you don't need to be working 24x7.
mikemaster 13y ago
@300bps: What job is that? 40 hours per week at an investment bank?
cylinder 13y ago
On the flip side, plenty of people suffer heart attacks, alcoholism, cancer, etc. due to overworking and poor work/life balance. The safe bet is always moderation. Work hard, not too much, live comfortably but below your means.

by 300bps 13y ago

chmullig 13y ago

I think you should learn from his later conclusion: He realized that people matter much more than money. Don't miss your children's childhoods for a few extra bucks, it's not worth it.

cgag 13y ago

Save/invest a large percentage of your income, 50+ ideally. If you're making > 650k in a year, 500k in savings doesn't actually sound all that prudent. That's really secondary though, step one is to not have 8 kids.

larrys 13y ago
"step one is to not have 8 kids" Really shows how intelligence and common sense are two different things. Or making decisions based on emotionality and what you want. Just because you want 8 kids (or 5 or whatever) doesn't mean it's a good idea to have that many kids. And just because you think your passion is being a comedy writer doesn't mean it's a good idea to take that career path or take that gamble. I mean I would imagine it would have been possible when he was offered the dream job by Tom Arnold to look at it rationality (hard but possible) and know enough about the business to realize the gamble he was taking. As opposed to the gamble that a person fresh out of college w/o kids or a family in the same "go for the brass ring" situation.
- dnr 13y ago
  The alternative to taking that job was staying in magazine publishing. Magazine publishing has probably done even worse than comedy writing over that time period.
goggles99 13y ago
>step one is to not have 8 kids Having 8 kids does not have to be as expensive as you think. You can get clothes for next to nothing (or free if you are really poor), rooms can be shared, hand-me-down toys and clothes. Food is really the only expense that multiplies. But if you are making big batches of food and using raw materials (large bags of rice, pasta or beans from Costco come to mind) it really does not have to be that expensive. The author states how important it was to them to keep the kids in the best schools. This suggests that hey had fallen into a trap that many have. They believe that their kids will be better off if they have the best of everything (clothes, schooling, food, housing). This simply is not true. Look at what happened. The family was completely split into pieces. Some of the kids became almost foster kids. The mother abandoned some of the younger ones. Is this really better than a middle class family that stays together and has a lower standard of living? The other part of this is, parents are fooled into thinking that they should work 60hrs a week so their kids will be better off. Their kids meanwhile are being raised by some strangers most of the time (day-care, after school care). The kids would rather just have the parent around than a bunch of extra toys, clothes and video games. The worst part is, the parent is not there teaching them haw to be upstanding and respectable men and women. Teaching them work ethic, discipline, values, morality, ETC. How foolish this man was. He deserves the life he has been relegated to. His kids don't though - and I do feel sorry for them. Disagree with me? This man made over 10 million dollars during his life and he is only in his early fifties.

larrys 13y ago

Well how much "suffering" is it for you to work the way you do? I mean no pain no gain. If you want to win a race you have to train, right? In this case the race is making sure you have enough socked away so you can be financially secure if you ever lose your ib bank job. Or just making enough to live a nice life. Not having to worry about money is also a stress reliever and gives you one less thing to lose sleep over. Nobody ever lost sleep over working hard, right? "Should I go to every single one of my kids' activities or should I spend some of them at home working?" Well, when your kids get old-er they will care more about what you can do for them that requires money. Not whether you missed a game or not. I've had girlfriends in the past with parents that have been the parent at everything they do. And once the child reaches late high school or college age they care more that their friend has a vacation home and that their dad can't pay for college or buy them things. So I'm firmly in the camp of "miss the events and make money". Other will tell you differently. Not that kids whose parents aren't around don't whine or you won't find a kid who has a "rich" parent who says they would have rather spent more time with them. That's what they say. But the truth is that's short sighted.

zaidf 13y ago
So I'm firmly in the camp of "miss the events and make money". Other will tell you differently. Not that kids whose parents aren't around don't whine or you won't find a kid who has a "rich" parent who says they would have rather spent more time with them. That's what they say. But the truth is that's short sighted. Right on! When my father's job hook up in Dubai fell apart, he called my mom informing her that he can either return home to India to continue his struggling career or he can come to the US on a visit visa. My mom told him to take his chances and then spent hours tearing up, unclear how she was going to take care of four little kids. It would take another seven years before my dad could get the rest of his family here. For all of that time, I barely knew my dad(there was no VoIP:). But the end result--or even the goal--made it all worth it.
- larrys 13y ago
  You know what? There are americans that feel the way you do (and that I do) and they were raised in immigrant families more than likely. (As I was.) So it doesn't surprise me at all to hear that your father did what he did and now you see how glad you are that he made those choices which you benefited from. Not to mention what you mother went through.

steven2012 13y ago

I felt this way back during the dot-com bust. I was worried that a single bad choice on my end would lead to my entire bloodline failing, and I eventually had panic attacks, health problems, etc. My advice to you is, give yourself some slack. Even if you make a few mistakes, it won't lead to catastrophic failure. Don't worry about work. Save your money dutifully, and go to your kids activities. You'll realize that there will always be opportunity as long as you're making good solid decisions. But you don't need to be working 24x7.

mikemaster 13y ago

@300bps: What job is that? 40 hours per week at an investment bank?

cylinder 13y ago

On the flip side, plenty of people suffer heart attacks, alcoholism, cancer, etc. due to overworking and poor work/life balance. The safe bet is always moderation. Work hard, not too much, live comfortably but below your means.