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> My wife is not well and was recently hospitalized, but her birthday is coming up. I think it would make her happy to receive a lot of birthday cards. Could yo

by skore 13y ago

> My wife is not well and was recently hospitalized, but her birthday is coming up. I think it would make her happy to receive a lot of birthday cards. Could you please send her a birthday card? Wait, so your wife is sick and you think a lot of cards from random strangers will cheer her up? In my experience, that's rarely how wives (or for that matter: husbands) work. I'm all for random acts of kindness... not too sure about soliciting them.

deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
hansy 13y ago
You're fixating on one use case, in this instance the current favor listed. What are your thoughts about the website as a whole? And why wouldn't this particular favor cheer up a wife? It's not the number of cards she receives that will make her happy, but the thoughtfulness of a husband to do something for her that will put a smile on her face.
ericabiz 13y ago
> That's rarely how wifes work. Sigh...sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't change my username to "tokenwoman", a la "tokenadult". :P This should go without saying, but not all "wifes" (sp) work the same. I had surgery recently and I would have loved this. Plus, I think it's awesome that the OP managed to score ask.io--a great, short domain name--and is using it for charitable purposes. Cool! Also, I think I'd have enough trust and faith in OP that either: 1) His wife is aware of this and is supportive of it and/or 2) He knows his wife well enough to know that she'll get a kick out of it.
- elohesra 13y ago
  Apologies, maybe I am misunderstanding this point: >Sigh...sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't change my username to "tokenwoman", a la "tokenadult". :P But are you suggesting that tokenwoman is synonymous with tokenadult, and by doing so suggesting men are children? If so, I consider this insulting rather than amusing. Sexist jokes are unwelcome regardless of the gender being targeted. If I've misunderstood you, then so be it.
  - groovy2shoes 13y ago
    I think tokenadult's nickname is a reference to tokenism[1]. It's a tongue-in-cheek insinuation that he's the acting adult amongst a group of children. Just a joke. If that is correct, then tokenwoman would be the one woman in a group of men. It's a joke within a joke, though unfortunately one with echoes of truth, statistically speaking. Cool your jets, man. It wasn't meant to be offensive. [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokenism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokenism
    - elohesra 13y ago
      > Cool your jets, man. It wasn't meant to be offensive. Please do not tell me to 'cool my jets'; this isn't 4chan. Now that the parent has explained what she meant, it's clear that it had nothing to do with conflating Woman and Adult. That said, if it had meant what I thought it meant then it would have been worth calling out, whether offense was intended or not.
      - croisillon 13y ago
        Excuse me, but... did you say "parent"? So you think you're a child?
    - LukeShu 13y ago
      Not quite, tokenadult's username isn't not a tongue-in-cheek insinuation. The username originated on a website (http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/ http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/) where the majority of users actually are children, and he just chose to re-use that identity.
  - ericabiz 13y ago
    You've misunderstood. My point was that women seem to be in rare supply on Hacker News. I find myself often commenting on items as one of the "token women" in the community (token, n. "a thing serving as a visible or tangible representation of a fact, quality, feeling, etc.")
    - 13y ago
- raverbashing 13y ago
  And are you sure all cards will be nice and fluffy? Or, I'm sure an Atheist would receive a lot of "I'm praying for Jesus to make it better" cards (or any other way around really, this is just an example)
  - spartango 13y ago
    Not all the cards will be nice and fluffy, but the subset that are might still make her happy. For religious/political/belief oriented cards, you can imagine filtering them, too. With that said, sometimes it's the thought that counts. Even if you don't believe in someone else's god, the fact that they wish you well is uplifting.
  - chavesn 13y ago
    This is a depressing comment. If there are people who would go out of their way to snail-mail an insult to an unwell and unfortunate target, then there is far less hope for the human race than I realized. Alternatively, if you're suggesting that someone is so entrenched in their principles that when they need comfort or compassion, they won't appreciate a gesture of goodwill for what it is because they don't agree with the beliefs of the well-wisher, then, well, same thing. Where's the assumption of good faith? Or at least hope for it? Thanks for trying to make the world better, OP.
    - krapp 13y ago
      oh, people would go out of their way to do a lot worse just because they have an address to focus on...
    - thetrb 13y ago
      Why do you think most online communities have rules against posting real addresses? Because exactly these kind of things happen.
      - chavesn 13y ago
        Online communities are sources of passion, emotion, argument, conflict. There's a big difference between that and knowing basically nothing about a person other than that they're in a hospital and having a birthday.
- skore 13y ago
  I was pondering whether I should put in a "or husbands" qualifier. Seems like I should have! I also fixed the spelling.
why-el 13y ago
I think the original poster knows his/her wife well enough to go about doing this.
z3bra 13y ago
implying he knows every wife.
frankdenbow 13y ago
When Steve Klabnik's Dad was sick many did this: http://blog.steveklabnik.com/posts/2012-03-26-birthday-cards-for-dad http://blog.steveklabnik.com/posts/2012-03-26-birthday-cards...
DigitalSea 13y ago
I think you misunderstand. In theory it might sound like a bad idea, but people love to feel important and if you're sick, reading get well cards from strangers might be all you need to get better. Positivity never made anyone sick even sicker.

by skore 13y ago

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

hansy 13y ago

You're fixating on one use case, in this instance the current favor listed. What are your thoughts about the website as a whole? And why wouldn't this particular favor cheer up a wife? It's not the number of cards she receives that will make her happy, but the thoughtfulness of a husband to do something for her that will put a smile on her face.

ericabiz 13y ago

> That's rarely how wifes work. Sigh...sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't change my username to "tokenwoman", a la "tokenadult". :P This should go without saying, but not all "wifes" (sp) work the same. I had surgery recently and I would have loved this. Plus, I think it's awesome that the OP managed to score ask.io--a great, short domain name--and is using it for charitable purposes. Cool! Also, I think I'd have enough trust and faith in OP that either: 1) His wife is aware of this and is supportive of it and/or 2) He knows his wife well enough to know that she'll get a kick out of it.

elohesra 13y ago
Apologies, maybe I am misunderstanding this point: >Sigh...sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't change my username to "tokenwoman", a la "tokenadult". :P But are you suggesting that tokenwoman is synonymous with tokenadult, and by doing so suggesting men are children? If so, I consider this insulting rather than amusing. Sexist jokes are unwelcome regardless of the gender being targeted. If I've misunderstood you, then so be it.
- groovy2shoes 13y ago
  I think tokenadult's nickname is a reference to tokenism[1]. It's a tongue-in-cheek insinuation that he's the acting adult amongst a group of children. Just a joke. If that is correct, then tokenwoman would be the one woman in a group of men. It's a joke within a joke, though unfortunately one with echoes of truth, statistically speaking. Cool your jets, man. It wasn't meant to be offensive. [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokenism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokenism
  - elohesra 13y ago
    > Cool your jets, man. It wasn't meant to be offensive. Please do not tell me to 'cool my jets'; this isn't 4chan. Now that the parent has explained what she meant, it's clear that it had nothing to do with conflating Woman and Adult. That said, if it had meant what I thought it meant then it would have been worth calling out, whether offense was intended or not.
    - croisillon 13y ago
      Excuse me, but... did you say "parent"? So you think you're a child?
  - LukeShu 13y ago
    Not quite, tokenadult's username isn't not a tongue-in-cheek insinuation. The username originated on a website (http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/ http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/) where the majority of users actually are children, and he just chose to re-use that identity.
- ericabiz 13y ago
  You've misunderstood. My point was that women seem to be in rare supply on Hacker News. I find myself often commenting on items as one of the "token women" in the community (token, n. "a thing serving as a visible or tangible representation of a fact, quality, feeling, etc.")
  - 13y ago
raverbashing 13y ago
And are you sure all cards will be nice and fluffy? Or, I'm sure an Atheist would receive a lot of "I'm praying for Jesus to make it better" cards (or any other way around really, this is just an example)
- spartango 13y ago
  Not all the cards will be nice and fluffy, but the subset that are might still make her happy. For religious/political/belief oriented cards, you can imagine filtering them, too. With that said, sometimes it's the thought that counts. Even if you don't believe in someone else's god, the fact that they wish you well is uplifting.
- chavesn 13y ago
  This is a depressing comment. If there are people who would go out of their way to snail-mail an insult to an unwell and unfortunate target, then there is far less hope for the human race than I realized. Alternatively, if you're suggesting that someone is so entrenched in their principles that when they need comfort or compassion, they won't appreciate a gesture of goodwill for what it is because they don't agree with the beliefs of the well-wisher, then, well, same thing. Where's the assumption of good faith? Or at least hope for it? Thanks for trying to make the world better, OP.
  - krapp 13y ago
    oh, people would go out of their way to do a lot worse just because they have an address to focus on...
  - thetrb 13y ago
    Why do you think most online communities have rules against posting real addresses? Because exactly these kind of things happen.
    - chavesn 13y ago
      Online communities are sources of passion, emotion, argument, conflict. There's a big difference between that and knowing basically nothing about a person other than that they're in a hospital and having a birthday.
skore 13y ago
I was pondering whether I should put in a "or husbands" qualifier. Seems like I should have! I also fixed the spelling.

why-el 13y ago

I think the original poster knows his/her wife well enough to go about doing this.

z3bra 13y ago

implying he knows every wife.

frankdenbow 13y ago

When Steve Klabnik's Dad was sick many did this: http://blog.steveklabnik.com/posts/2012-03-26-birthday-cards-for-dad http://blog.steveklabnik.com/posts/2012-03-26-birthday-cards...

DigitalSea 13y ago

I think you misunderstand. In theory it might sound like a bad idea, but people love to feel important and if you're sick, reading get well cards from strangers might be all you need to get better. Positivity never made anyone sick even sicker.