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Why would anyone harass someone who's eating bacon in their profile picture? On the other hand, I think she nailed the description of the typical (90%) YT comm

by smoyer 13y ago

Why would anyone harass someone who's eating bacon in their profile picture? On the other hand, I think she nailed the description of the typical (90%) YT commenter.

graeme 13y ago
Assuming your question was serious: Because she displays a very minor amount of cleavage in the picture, with a pleasant smile. In other words, her picture is fun and completely unobjectionable. Unfortunately, if that picture is shown outside of her private context it's also liable to generate hordes of crude come-ons from lonely men who see it while browsing Youtube. This is different from a facebook profile picture because she can't comment without showing it. If you know any women who use OK Cupid, ask them how many creepy messages they have to filter through. Or if you truly want to be horrified, make a personals ad on Craigslist pretending to be a woman. You will get pictures of penises.
- dictum 13y ago
  I understand her discomfort with harassers, but it seems to me that it's a trade between crude come-ons from people with real names attached and murder/rape threats from people without their real names attached. I prefer a web where pseudonyms are allowed, but if anything, real names could reduce harassment.
  - amagumori 13y ago
    the issue is not the visibility of the harasser's names but hers. using your real name gives people the ability to find your phone number and address fairly easily.
  - AndiS 13y ago
    What Amagumori said -- I can block/delete harassing comments (and do, on a regular basis), but I am far more concerned with murder/rape threats from people who know where I live. I'm a big girl, I can deal with crude come-ons appropriately (which is to say, snort/fume depending on the content, then report, block, and delete.) What concerns me is the unwanted linking of trackable personal information, through a service that had been repeatedly declined by the user in question. I'm thankful that I am not in compliance with Google's "real-name" policy, or else I'd potentially have harassers showing up at my door -- and that's a shitty, uncomfortable, violated feeling to be experiencing, because Google broke my trust after I told them that I didn't want to share that information, and they shared it anyway, without giving me a chance to opt out. In this case, no actual harm was done. However, it illustrates the potential for harm very clearly -- when you require "real names" (and, in some cases, enforce that with requests for drivers-license scans, etc., as has happened a number of times since the G+ nymwars started), you must respect your users' privacy choices about how they want those names to be shared with the public. All it takes is one stalker, one violent ex, one deranged family member, and their real-name policy, combined with the collapse of walls that users set up for self-protection, is a recipe for preventable tragedy.
- Zirro 13y ago
  "Or if you truly want to be horrified, make an ad on Craigslist pretending to be a woman. You will get pictures of penises." This might initially seem like a silly question, but as someone who wants to understand the perspectives of both sexes I wonder: Why can this behaviour generally be observed only in male to female exchanges but not the reverse?
  - patrickaljord 13y ago
    Women tend not to have penises.
    - Zirro 13y ago
      I am sure you were joking, but to clarify and expand: Why do men seek contact with the opposite sex more frequently than women? Why do they tend to do so in a way that seems to bother the woman in question? Why are women not doing the same to men?
      - anigbrowl 13y ago
        Because they don't need to, in general; and because reproductive biology predisposes women to be choosy (as the physical burden of pregnancy and childbirth on women is enormously high).
      - KaoruAoiShiho 13y ago
        Because it costs far more for women than men to have children, biologically speaking.
        acdha 13y ago
        That's an intellectually lazy excuse: humans are social creatures – completely ignoring that (and the existence of birth-control) to rely on biological determinism ignores most of the things which make us human. (Put another way: your explanation would cover our closest relatives: chimps, gorillas, orangutans and bonobos – given the huge differences in behavior, a simple reproductive cost model is obviously incomplete)
- graeme 13y ago
  I can't edit my reply, but another comment downstream put it even better than I did: "Her profile picture is a woman coyly putting something vaguely phallic in her mouth. If it was posted to reddit the slobbering masses would be tripping over themselves to tip their fedoras in her general direction, so imagine what it would be like on YouTube." Again, a fun, funny photo, in context. In the wilds of Youtube, that will get her plenty of awful comments and come-ons.
neotek 13y ago
Her profile picture is a woman coyly putting something vaguely phallic in her mouth. If it was posted to reddit the slobbering masses would be tripping over themselves to tip their fedoras in her general direction, so imagine what it would be like on YouTube.

by smoyer 13y ago

Why would anyone harass someone who's eating bacon in their profile picture? On the other hand, I think she nailed the description of the typical (90%) YT commenter.

graeme 13y ago

Assuming your question was serious: Because she displays a very minor amount of cleavage in the picture, with a pleasant smile. In other words, her picture is fun and completely unobjectionable. Unfortunately, if that picture is shown outside of her private context it's also liable to generate hordes of crude come-ons from lonely men who see it while browsing Youtube. This is different from a facebook profile picture because she can't comment without showing it. If you know any women who use OK Cupid, ask them how many creepy messages they have to filter through. Or if you truly want to be horrified, make a personals ad on Craigslist pretending to be a woman. You will get pictures of penises.

dictum 13y ago
I understand her discomfort with harassers, but it seems to me that it's a trade between crude come-ons from people with real names attached and murder/rape threats from people without their real names attached. I prefer a web where pseudonyms are allowed, but if anything, real names could reduce harassment.
- amagumori 13y ago
  the issue is not the visibility of the harasser's names but hers. using your real name gives people the ability to find your phone number and address fairly easily.
- AndiS 13y ago
  What Amagumori said -- I can block/delete harassing comments (and do, on a regular basis), but I am far more concerned with murder/rape threats from people who know where I live. I'm a big girl, I can deal with crude come-ons appropriately (which is to say, snort/fume depending on the content, then report, block, and delete.) What concerns me is the unwanted linking of trackable personal information, through a service that had been repeatedly declined by the user in question. I'm thankful that I am not in compliance with Google's "real-name" policy, or else I'd potentially have harassers showing up at my door -- and that's a shitty, uncomfortable, violated feeling to be experiencing, because Google broke my trust after I told them that I didn't want to share that information, and they shared it anyway, without giving me a chance to opt out. In this case, no actual harm was done. However, it illustrates the potential for harm very clearly -- when you require "real names" (and, in some cases, enforce that with requests for drivers-license scans, etc., as has happened a number of times since the G+ nymwars started), you must respect your users' privacy choices about how they want those names to be shared with the public. All it takes is one stalker, one violent ex, one deranged family member, and their real-name policy, combined with the collapse of walls that users set up for self-protection, is a recipe for preventable tragedy.
Zirro 13y ago
"Or if you truly want to be horrified, make an ad on Craigslist pretending to be a woman. You will get pictures of penises." This might initially seem like a silly question, but as someone who wants to understand the perspectives of both sexes I wonder: Why can this behaviour generally be observed only in male to female exchanges but not the reverse?
- patrickaljord 13y ago
  Women tend not to have penises.
  - Zirro 13y ago
    I am sure you were joking, but to clarify and expand: Why do men seek contact with the opposite sex more frequently than women? Why do they tend to do so in a way that seems to bother the woman in question? Why are women not doing the same to men?
    - anigbrowl 13y ago
      Because they don't need to, in general; and because reproductive biology predisposes women to be choosy (as the physical burden of pregnancy and childbirth on women is enormously high).
    - KaoruAoiShiho 13y ago
      Because it costs far more for women than men to have children, biologically speaking.
      - acdha 13y ago
        That's an intellectually lazy excuse: humans are social creatures – completely ignoring that (and the existence of birth-control) to rely on biological determinism ignores most of the things which make us human. (Put another way: your explanation would cover our closest relatives: chimps, gorillas, orangutans and bonobos – given the huge differences in behavior, a simple reproductive cost model is obviously incomplete)
graeme 13y ago
I can't edit my reply, but another comment downstream put it even better than I did: "Her profile picture is a woman coyly putting something vaguely phallic in her mouth. If it was posted to reddit the slobbering masses would be tripping over themselves to tip their fedoras in her general direction, so imagine what it would be like on YouTube." Again, a fun, funny photo, in context. In the wilds of Youtube, that will get her plenty of awful comments and come-ons.

neotek 13y ago

Her profile picture is a woman coyly putting something vaguely phallic in her mouth. If it was posted to reddit the slobbering masses would be tripping over themselves to tip their fedoras in her general direction, so imagine what it would be like on YouTube.