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It seems you discovered for yourself what every book on communication emphasizes -- ask questions! People would rather talk about themselves than listen to you
by mcdougle 13y ago
It seems you discovered for yourself what every book on communication emphasizes -- ask questions! People would rather talk about themselves than listen to you talking about yourself, so if you just get them talking and then listen to what they have to say (you barely have to even speak most of the time!) not only will you learn quite a bit, the other person will usually come away feeling like it was a very good conversation, that you were a very good conversationalist, and will appreciate the connection with you.
- kassner 13y agoNow that you said I'm connecting the dots with Dale Carnegie's book. I've read it, but I'm still not confident enough to start doing. This two-people tip is very more approachable, in my vision, because will limit the awkward silence when you don't get along with one person.
- reirob 13y agoI agree, just want to change to "ask open questions" with emphasis on "open".
- VladRussian2 13y ago>ask questions! it would be nice. Unfortunately asking questions i feel like i'm interrogating or intruding onto somebody's else private property.
- reirob 13y agoIt is actually not only asking questions. It is about asking open questions, i.e. questions that cannot be answered by yes, no, but require the person to tell a story. At the beginning it it is even more frightening, but once you force yourself to do this as an exercise it might change your life.