7 ms·

Having a hard time getting over being not rich

28 points by beginagain 13y ago

My values don't even gravitate towards money. I realize how foolish it is to chase money. Yet I feel very sad when I think about Mark Cuban just hopping in his private jet, gambling 10 million dollars away in Vegas, and then heading to New York to spend 10k on a sushi dinner without thinking twice. I know I will never have that. I have saved over a million dollars and I make over 60k per year in passive income (actually made 160k so far this year), but I worked for 8 years for that money. And I went to school for 4 years in order to get that job. At that rate, I will never know what it is to be rich. I am an INFP on the Meyers-Briggs personality test. I guess we aren't supposed to make the best entrepreneurs, but I can't imagine myself doing anything else than running my own enterprise. Maybe I just like the thought of it, but maybe I don't have what it takes to make it happen. Everyone is out for themselves nowadays. I have reached out to so many people. So many. I have had a year to think my way out of this, but I keep going in circles. I think I should just shut up and get a job and try to be normal. I mean, I don't think I have the intestinal fortitude to do that, but I guess maybe I should. I really see myself crashing and burning, becoming homeless or committing suicide. This world seems like a lie, and I will never get what I want. That is only for people who aren't me. I am pretty sure all this is true and I won't pull out of it. I wish so bad it wasn't true. I really want to live a happy life. I just don't think I will. I don't think I will ever be rich, and it really bothers me. And I know that none of the comments are going to get me out of my situation, but I post this in hopes that I am wrong and cynical. But I have seen it too many times where nothing changes, things just stay the same.

sekm 13y ago
Hmmm. Given your financial situation I don't think your problem really has anything to do with 'not being rich'. It just sounds like you're depressed about something. Why not consider donating a portion to a charity? If anything it may absolve yourself of some responsibility regarding your cynical outlook? Be the change you seek :)
- beginagain 13y ago
  It really has everything to do with not being rich. A million dollars is not rich. 100 million is. When you have a million, you make passive income of 60-70k per year. When you have 100 million, you make passive income of 7 million per year (but probably much more), which gives you almost 600k per month. You can do anything and you really don't care about saving money at this point, so you can spend all of it. As opposed to 5k per month, and you are living off 3k per month, trying desperately to save money to re-invest every year. Donating my money would just make me panic more. The problem is that I have nothing except money. I need to start on something, but I don't know what.
  - japhyr 13y ago
    What part of the world do you live in? What parts of the world have you been to? What have you done outside of work?
    - beginagain 13y ago
      I live in butthole texas. I have been all over the US, Canada, Mexico. I have volunteered at homeless shelters. I have played golf at a professional level, I have an engineering degree, I have given speeches to high school classes about life, I have built a blog and website (not good @ coding though). I have traveled and enjoyed some of the finest food in the American nation. I have owned some of the finest sports cars and lived and some of the nicest places (douche). I have caught world record fish in the gulf of mexico. I have shot a 59 on a golf course (18 holes). I have raided with a top 6 worldwide guild on wow. I have made it to the top 18 in quake live duel rankings. Wow I am fucking loser. I haven't done shit with my life. Fuck me. I should kill myself. lol.
  - cncool 13y ago
    Invest some of that million in bitcoin and you will have a non-trivial chance of being rich in 5-10 years.
  - corobo 13y ago
    Coming from someone living paycheck to paycheck - a million dollars is extremely rich. You could do with counselling to find the root cause of your current depression. Don't make any big decisions until you're in therapy, you'll probably end up regretting them. A million dollars in savings isn't rich, good lord.. that's rich!
    - beginagain 13y ago
      Rich for who? Who are these people then? http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ Why should they get to have more fun than me? Fuck them.
- a3n 13y ago
  As we've all read here, past a certain level of security more money doesn't make you happier. You have more than enough money and savings for what passes as security in the US. My guess is that you're sad or depressed about one thing, but looking at the rich issue instead of whatever it is that's troubling you. Fundamentally, as you can see from other comments, you don't seem to have an obvious reason for depression just from what you wrote, in fact you look like you have a pretty good situation. Yet you feel like you do, so there's likely something else going on. You should make contact with a counselor or similar, and do some exploration as to what might be bothering you. Many times we don't know what's bothering us, we just feel bad. The result of counseling could be identification of some issue and how to address it, and additionally some idea of things you can do to make yourself feel good, independent of any issues. Mental health is not just fixing what's broke. Promoting what's good is just as important. You sound mentally unhealthy. You wouldn't hesitate to set a broken arm and put it in a cast. Go talk to a professional or two, and get yourself healthy. EDIT: This should have been a reply to the OP. Weird that I put it here. Recalibrating brain ...
  - beginagain 13y ago
    what the fuck is going on here. I didn't understand what you are talking about.
ibstudios 13y ago
Man's grasp is always greater than his reach. Why don't you desire what you CAN grab? Doesn't that make more sense than desiring what another person can grab. Another way of looking at it: You are alive. Being alive means you have the ability to change the world around you. Change the world around you.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Come over and suck my cock. Then we will talk about grasp. Seriously though. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Open a reliable liquor store?
- beginagain 13y ago
  Wow, it looks like I had a bit too much ethanol last night. sorry.
DanBC 13y ago
If you were rich enough to have a jet to fly to Vegas you might just shift perception, and be jealous of the people building space craft or deep sea vessels or hyperloops. There's always going to be people richer than you. To me, $1m is a fantastic amount of money. If you want to give 0.1% of it away send me an email - it would be very very useful to me and my son. There are almost certainly local groups who need volunteers. Have you considered helping them? Not financially, but rolling your sleeves up and getting involved. This would give you rewards that are not based in money, and help you shift your perceptions of wealth. > I really see myself crashing and burning, becoming homeless or committing suicide. This is very troubling. Please see a doctor. Please consider seeing a therapist. Thoughts of suicide are worrying signs of depression, which can be a fatal illness. Modern treatments are getting better, especially if you have the money to access medication and therapy. And early intervention helps. I'm sorry you're having a lousy time. I hope things improve for you!
- jnorthrop 13y ago
  > This is very troubling. Please see a doctor. Please consider seeing a therapist. Thoughts of suicide are worrying signs of depression, which can be a fatal illness. Modern treatments are getting better, especially if you have the money to access medication and therapy. And early intervention helps. This is the appropriate response to this post and it is worth repeating in order to help it be viewed by the poster.
  - beginagain 13y ago
    I'm seeing a therapist right now. I'm not chemically depressed or have any disorder, other than being raised by completely psycho, narcissist parents. But I got through that fine. The only reason for my depression is that I don't have a way out right now. Once I find something to work on and enjoy, all the 'depression' will go.
horofx 13y ago
Actually you have a pretty good amount of money for your age, if you keep going like this I'm sure you will get what you want in maybe 20 years. But seriously. Money is shit. What EVERYONE is striving for is experience. You want to feel the experience of boarding that private jet, gamble 10mi or something. The experience you are wanting to have is very empty and there's way better stuff to do out there. Learn to draw, paint, do something you are proud of. Be the CEO of a big company. Help homeless people. The experience is what matters, go after it.
- beginagain 13y ago
  I want to help who I empathize with. But if I do not love myself, how am I supposed to love others? I cannot help poor people, I do not empathize with them. I can help broken people, but how am I to help them when I cannot help myself?
Spoom 13y ago
God, this board is strange sometimes. The very idea of having a million dollars and simultaneously complaining about not being rich enough is bizarre to me. But then, to the OP, I'm probably a crazy person (or worse, below some threshold of being a worthwhile opinion) because my bank accounts' savings are only measured in thousands. Beyond that, if you're still willing to listen to the opinion of a thousandaire, you should talk to a psychologist. You have set yourself some unrealistic goals, and they are apparently torturing you. I think, personally, that you need more socialization outside of a work situation. The world isn't a lie, but you're cutting yourself off from a huge part of it. Go do a bunch of things that involve other people as much as possible, and money as little as possible. But hey, bonus points for me: There's a millionaire out there with my Meyers-Briggs type.
- jagawhowho 13y ago
  1 mil is not rich in 2013. That won't even buy a mansion.
  - Spoom 13y ago
    At >$1 mil, you never have to worry about any of the basic fundamentals of survival pretty much ever again. To me, that's rich. Quibble about "what constitutes rich" all you want, it's not going to help the OP.
- beginagain 13y ago
  OK, I am going to do this then. I am already seeing a shrink and a life coach. But I am going to start getting out there. Maybe that will do it. All I need is an idea, and I'm going to rape it. I'm absolutely insanely famished and I am going to go full cutthroat balls to the wall rabid insane when I get something going.
adultSwim 13y ago
You're an asshole. Correction: you're a rich asshole.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Thanks for the constructive criticism. Jesus fuck.
vsergiu 13y ago
Have a look at this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLdDMDkwK1s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLdDMDkwK1s and maybe it will inspire you and you will understand that not everything is about the money. Fuck Mark Cuban, do you really want to be gambling 10 million dollars in Vegas when every day people are dying around the world? At the end is about how people will remember you and how you spent the money on crap you do not need. Rich doesn't mean that you will have a better life or you will be happier...it just a state of mind saying yeah I have the money to buy that expensive crap that I do not really need.
harishchouhan 13y ago
I have observed lot of people and the only people who I find to be happy or content are the ones with least ambition or those who create something (no matter the size of their creation). So my suggestion to you is focus your energy into creating something.
- beginagain 13y ago
  like what. I might as well just go for it because fuck it. My life is going to be shitty no matter what. Might as well go balls to the cunt.
duiker101 13y ago
>I have saved over a million dollars and I make over 60k per year in passive income (actually made 160k so far this year) In my eyes you are rich. It's perspective.
davman 13y ago
Heh, I long for the day I have 60k in regular income, let alone passive. $1m in savings is the sort of thing I dream about. If this is your situation and you are still not happy, I would suggest speaking to a professional about what else in your life might be lacking.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
fluxon 13y ago
IMHO you have a comfortable cushion, and some time to make careful, thoughtful decisions. Some professional financial planning could set you up to relieve yourself of some worries. Having done phase 1 (acquiring retirement money), you can take some time and assess what you love in life, or to explore what that means. Phase 2 might be family, or it might be personal growth, or it might be an adventure, or investing, or maybe as simple as a soul-searing eye-widening scary-ass meeting with either Paul Graham or Mark Cuban. Something to consider. Short term, though, the sincere, hopeful recommendations by others here that you look into discreet professional counseling to break your logjam and apparent depression, and to help you make your way from phase 1 to whatever your next phase is, are not wrong. You might need the therapy after meeting with Graham or Cuban. Best wishes for your breakthrough.
- beginagain 13y ago
  I'm not scared of meeting Cuban. I am scared of meeting Graham. Cuban is not that smart in my eyes, Graham is really smart, but I'm not sure Graham realizes how smart he is. How arrogant is that?
grownseed 13y ago
Like many others here have already pointed out, the money you have is considerably more than most, me included. But that's beyond the point. Thinking this is the sort of thing that'll make you happy, is in my opinion exactly why you are not so. From my view, which took me time and effort to understand and appreciate, you cannot become happy by longing for things, but by being satisfied with the things you already have, be them material or not, and I'm sure you've got more than you think. This might sound cliche, but I truly believe happiness comes from within. In fact, out of personal experience, I can tell you I've never been as happy as I am now, and I'm pretty damn happy. I got rid of most of my things and worked hard at not being attached to things in general. I'm lucky in that I don't have any debts, nor do I have any savings. I try to value the little, simple things. Things that don't have a price tag or can't be quantified, things I don't feel like are a source of comparison or competition, things that I can talk about with other people that engender simple wonder and excitement, not loathing and envy. Think good conversation, a nice piece of music, the smiles of the people you care about, the pride your mum has when she can make you your favorite dish once in a while, etc. None of these things essentially cost money, they simply cost a human investment, time and empathy. You're probably right in saying that none of the comments here will get you out of your situation. Ultimately, the only person who can do that is yourself. Thinking the world is your problem is assuming the world should care about you more than you care about it or yourself. Love yourself and who you can be, not the digits on your bank receipt, your social standing, the brand of your car, the caviar you could have on your plate or any of that subjective crap. Lengthy, soggy life lesson over :)
- beginagain 13y ago
  >Thinking the world is your problem is assuming the world should care about you more than you care about it or yourself. no they shouldn't. The world does not give a flying fuck about me. It only cares what I give to them. So why don't I? Why am I such a worthless piece of shit. I am a worthless piece of shit. I am a worthless piece of shit. I am a piece of shit.
  - beginagain 13y ago
    I am a fucking piece of shit. I should kill myself. I should fucking hang myself. I am a piece of shit.
taber1 13y ago
It seems to me that you've never been truly poor, which resulted in extremely unbalanced perspective about money, life and happiness.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Yup. this is part of it for sure. So what should I do? Fucking shoot myself in the head? I guess most people would prefer me dead. Maybe I should.
gexla 13y ago
It seems to me like you don't want to be rich so much as you don't want to worry about running out of money. I imagine a lot of people with a decent amount of money feel that way. Personally, I kind of like the hustle and fight at the bottom, but it can get tiring. Money doesn't buy happiness. It only buys you time and the raw materials to be happy. Again, I think your issue might be the thought of losing what you have and that's eating you up. You still have to worry about retirement. You still have to watch your budget. You don't want to have to worry about these things. Obviously if you want to hit 100 million you have to scale big. Since you are afraid of losing money, you would probably need to go a similar route as someone with little to no money. You couldn't hire a bunch of people and you couldn't get into something capital intensive without investors. Going web / app is one way to go. You could hit the scale with little investment. Rather than hiring employees, you would probably need to get someone on board with you to handle the software side of things. You could do a sort of arbitrage. If you want to feel rich, come to the Philippines! On 160K per year (or even 60K) you could do pretty much what you want. If you come up with an idea, you could hire developers for $800 / month. Minimum wage in much of the country is around $6 / pay and a lot of companies find loopholes to hire people for less than that. Maybe go to the mecca of web / apps (San Francisco) and get out, meet people and strike up some conversations. Get a notebook and write down ideas or even just general thoughts. Get that brain working. Creativity is a muscle, it needs exercise before it starts working. Find like minded people. Float the idea of grabbing a sweet party pad in a cheap place like the Philippines or Thailand. Get a maid or two to keep the place clean and cook (or to run to pick up food for you from local restaurants.) Then just build, build, go out on the town and then come back and build some more. You pay for everything (you could probably swing this on just your passive income) and your team gets some sort of stake (maybe even co-founders.) If you need help, hire local developers for cheap. When you have an MVP (and maybe even customers and a solid plan rolling) then come back to SF and pitch to everyone you can. Who knows, maybe you could find some investors and use that money to keep going rather than your own. If it totally doesn't work, go back and try again. Maybe this is naive or not realistic, but sounds like a good plan to me. ;)
- beginagain 13y ago
  are you currently stationed in thailand?
somberi 13y ago
Dalai Lama: "Someone asked me if I like counseling the rich or the poor, more. The rich. Because they come with the awareness that wealth does not solve problems".
marketer 13y ago
"There are three gates leading to this hell — lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul." - Bhagavad Gita There's a great movie about happiness on Netflix that I'd recommend: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1613092/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1613092/ Ironically, some of the happiest people are the poorest. Wealth is a weak indicator of happiness.
- beginagain 13y ago
  I have lived with these people though. I have been there. It is awesome. It makes me really happy. I don't know why I want more. I think it has to do with my parent's narcissism. They expect the world of me, and I intent to bring it.
atrilumen 13y ago
You suck. Can I borrow $700 to pay a PR firm to promote my game? I'm hoping to get my kids off of welfare someday.
- sharemywin 13y ago
  what's your game?
  - atrilumen 13y ago
    Hey, thanks for asking. It's a minimalist implementation of the ancient count and capture game Oware. http://luciangames.itch.io/oware http://luciangames.itch.io/oware http://luciangames.com/oware http://luciangames.com/oware
esw 13y ago
Have you posted about this before? This seems really familiar. Either way, I don't really understand your dilemma - you've clearly got enough cash to start a business. If you don't have any ideas of your own, fund someone else or buy into a franchise. Most of the multi/decamillionaires I know made their money over time doing boring, normal things.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Well what the fuck esw, point me in the direction. It's not like it's a guarantee.
GotAnyMegadeth 13y ago
"I have saved over a million dollars and I make over 60k per year in passive income ... At that rate, I will never know what it is to be rich." WHAT? I would consider that hideously rich, I've never met anyone with that much money before. A million dollars? Speechless.
- beginagain 13y ago
  How. How do you not know anyone 'that rich'.. I am not rich. I feel like this is a major shortsight.
  - mcv 13y ago
    You are rich. You are richer than over 99% of the world. I'm rich, and I'm a lot poorer than you. That you think you're not rich is a problem in your perspective, not your wallet. Change your perspective. Stop staring on a handful of filthy rich playboys, and look around you at all the real people.
mcintyre1994 13y ago
Surely this is entirely a perspective issue? Absolutely no disrespect or anything, but I think this is about more than just money, and perhaps you should try talking it over with somebody significantly more qualified. I mean, just a little perspective, The average (median) US household income as of 2011 is $50,000. Inflation adjusted, it's never passed $60,000 1980-2011. [0] You make more in passive income than most families make from actively working. Oh, and $160,000 puts you firmly in the top 10%, again as of 2011. Maybe you don't see yourself as rich, but you really are doing well. If the average US worker works 45 years at $50,000, they can earn about $2.25million. You already have half of that over 8 years, in savings. You are miles ahead of the curve here. Most people will never see $1million in their bank account. If I have the equivalent of $1million 8 years after graduation, I imagine that would be a sign I was doing well - why isn't it? Oh, and your average of $125,000 saved per year would put you in the top 15% if it were your entire earnings. Sorry, my point is, I don't think this is about money. I don't think you're greedy, it's something else. "crashing and burning, becoming homeless or committing suicide" would be the worst possible outcomes, and you can, and deserve to do better than that. Please talk to somebody more qualified about this because statistically speaking you're doing incredibly so far. [0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_...
- beginagain 13y ago
  http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ this page tells me otherwise. Never will I be able to afford something like this. I get that I'm well off. I'm GRATEFUL for that, whether or not it seems that way. It's just that I want more. A lot more. And there doesn't seem to be a way to do it. I see all these entrepreneurs living the lives of dreams, and here I sit, twiddling my thumbs, spinning my wheels. I feel like I'm about to go off the deep end.
djokkataja 13y ago
You sound like a very intelligent and capable person, but that doesn't mean that all of your thoughts are intelligent and worth your attention. Some parts of your brain come up with really stupid or useless thoughts. For example, you have a lot of all-or-nothing thinking here (you use the word "never" a lot), and you discount the positive things you've accomplished (you've saved a lot of money and have high passive income, but it took you a lot of time...). I'd recommend taking a look at this short list of "The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking": http://cnysearch.com/twist.htm http://cnysearch.com/twist.htm It might help you see the holes in your thinking. Although it may be distasteful, a psychologist may also be able to help you find which ideas are twisting your perspective so negatively.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Why don't we be friends?
epo 13y ago
You're either trolling or you have a mental health problem (depression perhaps?).
- beginagain 13y ago
  I don't see how it is so mentally insane to want more out of life. I think people who think 1 million is the same as having 100 million are delusional, as it is nothing of the sort. Sure, I could buy a bunch of shit with 1mm, but then what? If I had a job right now that I enjoyed, BELIEVE me, I wouldn't be posting. But I am unemployed, I left my old work, and I won't go back to it. So I have to find something new.
  - mcv 13y ago
    You already got way more out of life in 8 years than most people get in a lifetime. Financially, at least. If you want more out of life, maybe you should look at other things than money. Now is a perfect time to look for something new. With your good passive income, you can afford to try lots of different things. It doesn't have to be a job. You can travel. You can spend a year doing volunteer work. Maybe that's more satisfying than this hunt for a goal that's beyond the reach of very nearly everybody in the entire world.
mcv 13y ago
I know I shouldn't joke about this, but I'm currently imagining the headline: "Millionaire kills himself over not being rich enough."
- beginagain 13y ago
  well i laughed out loud at this. And yes, I see how much of a douchekongercunt I am. I am a fucking cunt. Fine. But it doesn't change the fact that i am fucked right now and I need some help.
keiferski 13y ago
Obviously everyone has already covered the "money won't make you happy" angle. So I'm going to take a different route on this comment, just for the sake of it. Right now you're rich. Your objective is to become super rich. Ok, fine. Make a plan to get there and execute it. Luckily, you're in a perfect position to turn your million into a hundred million, as you've got a runway of at least 10 years, potentially more if you already have a reliable passive income stream and don't need to dip into your principal. This lets you try out multiple ideas with no immediate need to monetize them. Apply to YC / go to San Francisco, build a team of top engineers, and try to build the next Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. You've obviously got basic needs covered, so there's no reason not to go for the big win. Billionaires are usually made from the big acquisition / IPO, not the little guy chugging along (in tech at least).
avifreedman 13y ago
What makes you happy? When I was in college if someone had offered to pay me $100k inflation adjusted for life to play with computers, coding, and networking, I would probably have signed in blood - even having has some success at consulting and with entrepreneur role models in my family. So when I get frustrated at people or with circumstances, I find it helpful to remember enjoying reading books, playing with technology, teaching people and getting positive feedback, being part of productive teams, and the other firsts which were all new, novel, impressive, and profound at the time and now I just assume are the state of my universe. Yes, there's a lot I don't enjoy about working at big companies, and ditto for smaller companies where you have to do more of things you don't like. But have less BS of others' making. But it's still awesome to be paid to do fundamentally fun stuff! So anyway, just a thought - maybe try to find the things that make you happy and do them and embrace them and maybe suffer to work in a constraining day job which is still stuff you sort of enjoy, and tinker as a hobbyist to have your own space for pure fun? And who knows, companies are still being born that way...
- beginagain 13y ago
  Well then why don't we work together, motherfucker? btw, I am serious, and would join you, just give me the word.
dsschnau 13y ago
you should just donate it all and start from zero.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Unfucking fortunately, this is actually probably the best advice. Im not sure if I have the balls. Maybe thats why Ill be a fucking faggot the rest of my life. And no, I dont mean faggot as homosexual. That word should be exuded from homosexual context. But yea, I would be a fucking faggot. And Im pretty sure I will not give up this money. I dont have the balls.
ph4 13y ago
You have no capacity to enjoy what you have, what makes you think that your idealized picture of life as a wealthy person would be even remotely fulfilling?
- beginagain 13y ago
  MAn. I threw the cake on the floor. I don't need your cake.
christianlo 13y ago
I honestly think you need friends. Or better friends. You have lost perspective a little bit but that is ok. You want change and do things differently and that is great. Just try to keep an open mind for new people in your life because I will tell you that I know a lot of people that is more fun to spend time with than random people at a casino. Find such people and you will feel like the richest person in the world.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Why can't we be friends? And you're right. I met this one girl here. She is the apple of my eye. to say it gayly. But it makes all the difference. By now you probably wish for me to die, but I beg you to reach out. I am a good friend.
cprncus 13y ago
Anyone else have a massive P300 wave about the 3rd paragraph?
- beginagain 13y ago
  No idea what this means. Which makes me an idiot I guess.
typhonic 13y ago
None of us will know if Mark Cuban is truly happy. And we cannot tell for sure if you will ever be happy. What is clear from all you have said, is that riches will not make you happy. You have studied and worked to get where you are. You do not live in isolation so there must be others who have benefited from you being you. I do not doubt your temptation to give up, but I hope you choose to improve. Losing someone who has made such an impact would surely be painful to those you touched. Though you should not strive solely for wealth, you do not have to refuse that which comes to you. I believe, along the way you can find happiness. Hang in there.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Well you sound like an awesome fucking person who is happy with their life. What do you do for a living?
- beginagain 13y ago
  you only have 3 comments, both of them over a year ago, but one just for me this year? I wish we could talk.
  - typhonic 13y ago
    I was captivated by your statement. I am strictly middle class, not very accomplished, not well traveled, not a leader. You seem to have the ability to have an impact which will go beyond the ordinary. I think the effect of your future efforts will be very positive, but I have to admit the chance of failure; your failure and the failure of those who should support your efforts. Including myself. I made another comment today. Maybe I should keep it up until I learn how to make a difference. By the way, I like the significance of your login ID. In the long run, that's quite a good sentiment.
g123g 13y ago
Whenever these kinds of useless and idiotic thoughts come to my mind (they often do), I think of the following quote by Steven Weinberg The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy. The important part is to understand that this human life is a farce and it does not matter what you do or do not do. So enjoy this farce as long as you can and don't overthink it.
- beginagain 13y ago
  I wish I was talented enough to take this advice to heart. I know it is true, and yet I am too retarded to act on it.
davidsmith8900 13y ago
- Never Give Up My Friend, & Please Stay Positive.
- beginagain 13y ago
  Thank you friend.
stephenbez 13y ago
The book "Enough: True Measures of Money, Business, and Life" by John Bogle (http://www.amazon.com/Enough-True-Measures-Money-Business/dp/0470524235 http://www.amazon.com/Enough-True-Measures-Money-Business/dp...) might be good for you. I read it years ago. He talks about "how destructive an obsession with financial success can be". Maybe you could change your focus outwards. For 30 days, instead of focusing on how you could amass more money, you could focus on what you could do to help the most people. You would likely feel less depressed after that. This reminds me of a poem mentioned in the book: True story, Word of Honor: Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer now dead, and I were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter island. I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel ‘Catch-22′ has earned in its entire history?” And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.” And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?” And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.” Not bad! Rest in peace!

28 points by beginagain 13y ago

sekm 13y ago

Hmmm. Given your financial situation I don't think your problem really has anything to do with 'not being rich'. It just sounds like you're depressed about something. Why not consider donating a portion to a charity? If anything it may absolve yourself of some responsibility regarding your cynical outlook? Be the change you seek :)

beginagain 13y ago
It really has everything to do with not being rich. A million dollars is not rich. 100 million is. When you have a million, you make passive income of 60-70k per year. When you have 100 million, you make passive income of 7 million per year (but probably much more), which gives you almost 600k per month. You can do anything and you really don't care about saving money at this point, so you can spend all of it. As opposed to 5k per month, and you are living off 3k per month, trying desperately to save money to re-invest every year. Donating my money would just make me panic more. The problem is that I have nothing except money. I need to start on something, but I don't know what.
- japhyr 13y ago
  What part of the world do you live in? What parts of the world have you been to? What have you done outside of work?
  - beginagain 13y ago
    I live in butthole texas. I have been all over the US, Canada, Mexico. I have volunteered at homeless shelters. I have played golf at a professional level, I have an engineering degree, I have given speeches to high school classes about life, I have built a blog and website (not good @ coding though). I have traveled and enjoyed some of the finest food in the American nation. I have owned some of the finest sports cars and lived and some of the nicest places (douche). I have caught world record fish in the gulf of mexico. I have shot a 59 on a golf course (18 holes). I have raided with a top 6 worldwide guild on wow. I have made it to the top 18 in quake live duel rankings. Wow I am fucking loser. I haven't done shit with my life. Fuck me. I should kill myself. lol.
- cncool 13y ago
  Invest some of that million in bitcoin and you will have a non-trivial chance of being rich in 5-10 years.
- corobo 13y ago
  Coming from someone living paycheck to paycheck - a million dollars is extremely rich. You could do with counselling to find the root cause of your current depression. Don't make any big decisions until you're in therapy, you'll probably end up regretting them. A million dollars in savings isn't rich, good lord.. that's rich!
  - beginagain 13y ago
    Rich for who? Who are these people then? http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ Why should they get to have more fun than me? Fuck them.
a3n 13y ago
As we've all read here, past a certain level of security more money doesn't make you happier. You have more than enough money and savings for what passes as security in the US. My guess is that you're sad or depressed about one thing, but looking at the rich issue instead of whatever it is that's troubling you. Fundamentally, as you can see from other comments, you don't seem to have an obvious reason for depression just from what you wrote, in fact you look like you have a pretty good situation. Yet you feel like you do, so there's likely something else going on. You should make contact with a counselor or similar, and do some exploration as to what might be bothering you. Many times we don't know what's bothering us, we just feel bad. The result of counseling could be identification of some issue and how to address it, and additionally some idea of things you can do to make yourself feel good, independent of any issues. Mental health is not just fixing what's broke. Promoting what's good is just as important. You sound mentally unhealthy. You wouldn't hesitate to set a broken arm and put it in a cast. Go talk to a professional or two, and get yourself healthy. EDIT: This should have been a reply to the OP. Weird that I put it here. Recalibrating brain ...
- beginagain 13y ago
  what the fuck is going on here. I didn't understand what you are talking about.

ibstudios 13y ago

Man's grasp is always greater than his reach. Why don't you desire what you CAN grab? Doesn't that make more sense than desiring what another person can grab. Another way of looking at it: You are alive. Being alive means you have the ability to change the world around you. Change the world around you.

beginagain 13y ago
Come over and suck my cock. Then we will talk about grasp. Seriously though. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Open a reliable liquor store?
beginagain 13y ago
Wow, it looks like I had a bit too much ethanol last night. sorry.

DanBC 13y ago

If you were rich enough to have a jet to fly to Vegas you might just shift perception, and be jealous of the people building space craft or deep sea vessels or hyperloops. There's always going to be people richer than you. To me, $1m is a fantastic amount of money. If you want to give 0.1% of it away send me an email - it would be very very useful to me and my son. There are almost certainly local groups who need volunteers. Have you considered helping them? Not financially, but rolling your sleeves up and getting involved. This would give you rewards that are not based in money, and help you shift your perceptions of wealth. > I really see myself crashing and burning, becoming homeless or committing suicide. This is very troubling. Please see a doctor. Please consider seeing a therapist. Thoughts of suicide are worrying signs of depression, which can be a fatal illness. Modern treatments are getting better, especially if you have the money to access medication and therapy. And early intervention helps. I'm sorry you're having a lousy time. I hope things improve for you!

jnorthrop 13y ago
> This is very troubling. Please see a doctor. Please consider seeing a therapist. Thoughts of suicide are worrying signs of depression, which can be a fatal illness. Modern treatments are getting better, especially if you have the money to access medication and therapy. And early intervention helps. This is the appropriate response to this post and it is worth repeating in order to help it be viewed by the poster.
- beginagain 13y ago
  I'm seeing a therapist right now. I'm not chemically depressed or have any disorder, other than being raised by completely psycho, narcissist parents. But I got through that fine. The only reason for my depression is that I don't have a way out right now. Once I find something to work on and enjoy, all the 'depression' will go.

horofx 13y ago

Actually you have a pretty good amount of money for your age, if you keep going like this I'm sure you will get what you want in maybe 20 years. But seriously. Money is shit. What EVERYONE is striving for is experience. You want to feel the experience of boarding that private jet, gamble 10mi or something. The experience you are wanting to have is very empty and there's way better stuff to do out there. Learn to draw, paint, do something you are proud of. Be the CEO of a big company. Help homeless people. The experience is what matters, go after it.

beginagain 13y ago
I want to help who I empathize with. But if I do not love myself, how am I supposed to love others? I cannot help poor people, I do not empathize with them. I can help broken people, but how am I to help them when I cannot help myself?

Spoom 13y ago

God, this board is strange sometimes. The very idea of having a million dollars and simultaneously complaining about not being rich enough is bizarre to me. But then, to the OP, I'm probably a crazy person (or worse, below some threshold of being a worthwhile opinion) because my bank accounts' savings are only measured in thousands. Beyond that, if you're still willing to listen to the opinion of a thousandaire, you should talk to a psychologist. You have set yourself some unrealistic goals, and they are apparently torturing you. I think, personally, that you need more socialization outside of a work situation. The world isn't a lie, but you're cutting yourself off from a huge part of it. Go do a bunch of things that involve other people as much as possible, and money as little as possible. But hey, bonus points for me: There's a millionaire out there with my Meyers-Briggs type.

jagawhowho 13y ago
1 mil is not rich in 2013. That won't even buy a mansion.
- Spoom 13y ago
  At >$1 mil, you never have to worry about any of the basic fundamentals of survival pretty much ever again. To me, that's rich. Quibble about "what constitutes rich" all you want, it's not going to help the OP.
beginagain 13y ago
OK, I am going to do this then. I am already seeing a shrink and a life coach. But I am going to start getting out there. Maybe that will do it. All I need is an idea, and I'm going to rape it. I'm absolutely insanely famished and I am going to go full cutthroat balls to the wall rabid insane when I get something going.

adultSwim 13y ago

You're an asshole. Correction: you're a rich asshole.

beginagain 13y ago
Thanks for the constructive criticism. Jesus fuck.

vsergiu 13y ago

Have a look at this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLdDMDkwK1s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLdDMDkwK1s and maybe it will inspire you and you will understand that not everything is about the money. Fuck Mark Cuban, do you really want to be gambling 10 million dollars in Vegas when every day people are dying around the world? At the end is about how people will remember you and how you spent the money on crap you do not need. Rich doesn't mean that you will have a better life or you will be happier...it just a state of mind saying yeah I have the money to buy that expensive crap that I do not really need.

harishchouhan 13y ago

I have observed lot of people and the only people who I find to be happy or content are the ones with least ambition or those who create something (no matter the size of their creation). So my suggestion to you is focus your energy into creating something.

beginagain 13y ago
like what. I might as well just go for it because fuck it. My life is going to be shitty no matter what. Might as well go balls to the cunt.

duiker101 13y ago

>I have saved over a million dollars and I make over 60k per year in passive income (actually made 160k so far this year) In my eyes you are rich. It's perspective.

davman 13y ago

Heh, I long for the day I have 60k in regular income, let alone passive. $1m in savings is the sort of thing I dream about. If this is your situation and you are still not happy, I would suggest speaking to a professional about what else in your life might be lacking.

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

fluxon 13y ago

IMHO you have a comfortable cushion, and some time to make careful, thoughtful decisions. Some professional financial planning could set you up to relieve yourself of some worries. Having done phase 1 (acquiring retirement money), you can take some time and assess what you love in life, or to explore what that means. Phase 2 might be family, or it might be personal growth, or it might be an adventure, or investing, or maybe as simple as a soul-searing eye-widening scary-ass meeting with either Paul Graham or Mark Cuban. Something to consider. Short term, though, the sincere, hopeful recommendations by others here that you look into discreet professional counseling to break your logjam and apparent depression, and to help you make your way from phase 1 to whatever your next phase is, are not wrong. You might need the therapy after meeting with Graham or Cuban. Best wishes for your breakthrough.

beginagain 13y ago
I'm not scared of meeting Cuban. I am scared of meeting Graham. Cuban is not that smart in my eyes, Graham is really smart, but I'm not sure Graham realizes how smart he is. How arrogant is that?

grownseed 13y ago

Like many others here have already pointed out, the money you have is considerably more than most, me included. But that's beyond the point. Thinking this is the sort of thing that'll make you happy, is in my opinion exactly why you are not so. From my view, which took me time and effort to understand and appreciate, you cannot become happy by longing for things, but by being satisfied with the things you already have, be them material or not, and I'm sure you've got more than you think. This might sound cliche, but I truly believe happiness comes from within. In fact, out of personal experience, I can tell you I've never been as happy as I am now, and I'm pretty damn happy. I got rid of most of my things and worked hard at not being attached to things in general. I'm lucky in that I don't have any debts, nor do I have any savings. I try to value the little, simple things. Things that don't have a price tag or can't be quantified, things I don't feel like are a source of comparison or competition, things that I can talk about with other people that engender simple wonder and excitement, not loathing and envy. Think good conversation, a nice piece of music, the smiles of the people you care about, the pride your mum has when she can make you your favorite dish once in a while, etc. None of these things essentially cost money, they simply cost a human investment, time and empathy. You're probably right in saying that none of the comments here will get you out of your situation. Ultimately, the only person who can do that is yourself. Thinking the world is your problem is assuming the world should care about you more than you care about it or yourself. Love yourself and who you can be, not the digits on your bank receipt, your social standing, the brand of your car, the caviar you could have on your plate or any of that subjective crap. Lengthy, soggy life lesson over :)

beginagain 13y ago
>Thinking the world is your problem is assuming the world should care about you more than you care about it or yourself. no they shouldn't. The world does not give a flying fuck about me. It only cares what I give to them. So why don't I? Why am I such a worthless piece of shit. I am a worthless piece of shit. I am a worthless piece of shit. I am a piece of shit.
- beginagain 13y ago
  I am a fucking piece of shit. I should kill myself. I should fucking hang myself. I am a piece of shit.

taber1 13y ago

It seems to me that you've never been truly poor, which resulted in extremely unbalanced perspective about money, life and happiness.

beginagain 13y ago
Yup. this is part of it for sure. So what should I do? Fucking shoot myself in the head? I guess most people would prefer me dead. Maybe I should.

gexla 13y ago

It seems to me like you don't want to be rich so much as you don't want to worry about running out of money. I imagine a lot of people with a decent amount of money feel that way. Personally, I kind of like the hustle and fight at the bottom, but it can get tiring. Money doesn't buy happiness. It only buys you time and the raw materials to be happy. Again, I think your issue might be the thought of losing what you have and that's eating you up. You still have to worry about retirement. You still have to watch your budget. You don't want to have to worry about these things. Obviously if you want to hit 100 million you have to scale big. Since you are afraid of losing money, you would probably need to go a similar route as someone with little to no money. You couldn't hire a bunch of people and you couldn't get into something capital intensive without investors. Going web / app is one way to go. You could hit the scale with little investment. Rather than hiring employees, you would probably need to get someone on board with you to handle the software side of things. You could do a sort of arbitrage. If you want to feel rich, come to the Philippines! On 160K per year (or even 60K) you could do pretty much what you want. If you come up with an idea, you could hire developers for $800 / month. Minimum wage in much of the country is around $6 / pay and a lot of companies find loopholes to hire people for less than that. Maybe go to the mecca of web / apps (San Francisco) and get out, meet people and strike up some conversations. Get a notebook and write down ideas or even just general thoughts. Get that brain working. Creativity is a muscle, it needs exercise before it starts working. Find like minded people. Float the idea of grabbing a sweet party pad in a cheap place like the Philippines or Thailand. Get a maid or two to keep the place clean and cook (or to run to pick up food for you from local restaurants.) Then just build, build, go out on the town and then come back and build some more. You pay for everything (you could probably swing this on just your passive income) and your team gets some sort of stake (maybe even co-founders.) If you need help, hire local developers for cheap. When you have an MVP (and maybe even customers and a solid plan rolling) then come back to SF and pitch to everyone you can. Who knows, maybe you could find some investors and use that money to keep going rather than your own. If it totally doesn't work, go back and try again. Maybe this is naive or not realistic, but sounds like a good plan to me. ;)

beginagain 13y ago
are you currently stationed in thailand?

somberi 13y ago

Dalai Lama: "Someone asked me if I like counseling the rich or the poor, more. The rich. Because they come with the awareness that wealth does not solve problems".

marketer 13y ago

"There are three gates leading to this hell — lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul." - Bhagavad Gita There's a great movie about happiness on Netflix that I'd recommend: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1613092/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1613092/ Ironically, some of the happiest people are the poorest. Wealth is a weak indicator of happiness.

beginagain 13y ago
I have lived with these people though. I have been there. It is awesome. It makes me really happy. I don't know why I want more. I think it has to do with my parent's narcissism. They expect the world of me, and I intent to bring it.

atrilumen 13y ago

You suck. Can I borrow $700 to pay a PR firm to promote my game? I'm hoping to get my kids off of welfare someday.

sharemywin 13y ago
what's your game?
- atrilumen 13y ago
  Hey, thanks for asking. It's a minimalist implementation of the ancient count and capture game Oware. http://luciangames.itch.io/oware http://luciangames.itch.io/oware http://luciangames.com/oware http://luciangames.com/oware

esw 13y ago

Have you posted about this before? This seems really familiar. Either way, I don't really understand your dilemma - you've clearly got enough cash to start a business. If you don't have any ideas of your own, fund someone else or buy into a franchise. Most of the multi/decamillionaires I know made their money over time doing boring, normal things.

beginagain 13y ago
Well what the fuck esw, point me in the direction. It's not like it's a guarantee.

GotAnyMegadeth 13y ago

"I have saved over a million dollars and I make over 60k per year in passive income ... At that rate, I will never know what it is to be rich." WHAT? I would consider that hideously rich, I've never met anyone with that much money before. A million dollars? Speechless.

beginagain 13y ago
How. How do you not know anyone 'that rich'.. I am not rich. I feel like this is a major shortsight.
- mcv 13y ago
  You are rich. You are richer than over 99% of the world. I'm rich, and I'm a lot poorer than you. That you think you're not rich is a problem in your perspective, not your wallet. Change your perspective. Stop staring on a handful of filthy rich playboys, and look around you at all the real people.

mcintyre1994 13y ago

Surely this is entirely a perspective issue? Absolutely no disrespect or anything, but I think this is about more than just money, and perhaps you should try talking it over with somebody significantly more qualified. I mean, just a little perspective, The average (median) US household income as of 2011 is $50,000. Inflation adjusted, it's never passed $60,000 1980-2011. [0] You make more in passive income than most families make from actively working. Oh, and $160,000 puts you firmly in the top 10%, again as of 2011. Maybe you don't see yourself as rich, but you really are doing well. If the average US worker works 45 years at $50,000, they can earn about $2.25million. You already have half of that over 8 years, in savings. You are miles ahead of the curve here. Most people will never see $1million in their bank account. If I have the equivalent of $1million 8 years after graduation, I imagine that would be a sign I was doing well - why isn't it? Oh, and your average of $125,000 saved per year would put you in the top 15% if it were your entire earnings. Sorry, my point is, I don't think this is about money. I don't think you're greedy, it's something else. "crashing and burning, becoming homeless or committing suicide" would be the worst possible outcomes, and you can, and deserve to do better than that. Please talk to somebody more qualified about this because statistically speaking you're doing incredibly so far. [0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_...

beginagain 13y ago
http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/ this page tells me otherwise. Never will I be able to afford something like this. I get that I'm well off. I'm GRATEFUL for that, whether or not it seems that way. It's just that I want more. A lot more. And there doesn't seem to be a way to do it. I see all these entrepreneurs living the lives of dreams, and here I sit, twiddling my thumbs, spinning my wheels. I feel like I'm about to go off the deep end.

djokkataja 13y ago

You sound like a very intelligent and capable person, but that doesn't mean that all of your thoughts are intelligent and worth your attention. Some parts of your brain come up with really stupid or useless thoughts. For example, you have a lot of all-or-nothing thinking here (you use the word "never" a lot), and you discount the positive things you've accomplished (you've saved a lot of money and have high passive income, but it took you a lot of time...). I'd recommend taking a look at this short list of "The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking": http://cnysearch.com/twist.htm http://cnysearch.com/twist.htm It might help you see the holes in your thinking. Although it may be distasteful, a psychologist may also be able to help you find which ideas are twisting your perspective so negatively.

beginagain 13y ago
Why don't we be friends?

epo 13y ago

You're either trolling or you have a mental health problem (depression perhaps?).

beginagain 13y ago
I don't see how it is so mentally insane to want more out of life. I think people who think 1 million is the same as having 100 million are delusional, as it is nothing of the sort. Sure, I could buy a bunch of shit with 1mm, but then what? If I had a job right now that I enjoyed, BELIEVE me, I wouldn't be posting. But I am unemployed, I left my old work, and I won't go back to it. So I have to find something new.
- mcv 13y ago
  You already got way more out of life in 8 years than most people get in a lifetime. Financially, at least. If you want more out of life, maybe you should look at other things than money. Now is a perfect time to look for something new. With your good passive income, you can afford to try lots of different things. It doesn't have to be a job. You can travel. You can spend a year doing volunteer work. Maybe that's more satisfying than this hunt for a goal that's beyond the reach of very nearly everybody in the entire world.

mcv 13y ago

I know I shouldn't joke about this, but I'm currently imagining the headline: "Millionaire kills himself over not being rich enough."

beginagain 13y ago
well i laughed out loud at this. And yes, I see how much of a douchekongercunt I am. I am a fucking cunt. Fine. But it doesn't change the fact that i am fucked right now and I need some help.

keiferski 13y ago

Obviously everyone has already covered the "money won't make you happy" angle. So I'm going to take a different route on this comment, just for the sake of it. Right now you're rich. Your objective is to become super rich. Ok, fine. Make a plan to get there and execute it. Luckily, you're in a perfect position to turn your million into a hundred million, as you've got a runway of at least 10 years, potentially more if you already have a reliable passive income stream and don't need to dip into your principal. This lets you try out multiple ideas with no immediate need to monetize them. Apply to YC / go to San Francisco, build a team of top engineers, and try to build the next Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. You've obviously got basic needs covered, so there's no reason not to go for the big win. Billionaires are usually made from the big acquisition / IPO, not the little guy chugging along (in tech at least).

avifreedman 13y ago

What makes you happy? When I was in college if someone had offered to pay me $100k inflation adjusted for life to play with computers, coding, and networking, I would probably have signed in blood - even having has some success at consulting and with entrepreneur role models in my family. So when I get frustrated at people or with circumstances, I find it helpful to remember enjoying reading books, playing with technology, teaching people and getting positive feedback, being part of productive teams, and the other firsts which were all new, novel, impressive, and profound at the time and now I just assume are the state of my universe. Yes, there's a lot I don't enjoy about working at big companies, and ditto for smaller companies where you have to do more of things you don't like. But have less BS of others' making. But it's still awesome to be paid to do fundamentally fun stuff! So anyway, just a thought - maybe try to find the things that make you happy and do them and embrace them and maybe suffer to work in a constraining day job which is still stuff you sort of enjoy, and tinker as a hobbyist to have your own space for pure fun? And who knows, companies are still being born that way...

beginagain 13y ago
Well then why don't we work together, motherfucker? btw, I am serious, and would join you, just give me the word.

dsschnau 13y ago

you should just donate it all and start from zero.

beginagain 13y ago
Unfucking fortunately, this is actually probably the best advice. Im not sure if I have the balls. Maybe thats why Ill be a fucking faggot the rest of my life. And no, I dont mean faggot as homosexual. That word should be exuded from homosexual context. But yea, I would be a fucking faggot. And Im pretty sure I will not give up this money. I dont have the balls.

ph4 13y ago

You have no capacity to enjoy what you have, what makes you think that your idealized picture of life as a wealthy person would be even remotely fulfilling?

beginagain 13y ago
MAn. I threw the cake on the floor. I don't need your cake.

christianlo 13y ago

I honestly think you need friends. Or better friends. You have lost perspective a little bit but that is ok. You want change and do things differently and that is great. Just try to keep an open mind for new people in your life because I will tell you that I know a lot of people that is more fun to spend time with than random people at a casino. Find such people and you will feel like the richest person in the world.

beginagain 13y ago
Why can't we be friends? And you're right. I met this one girl here. She is the apple of my eye. to say it gayly. But it makes all the difference. By now you probably wish for me to die, but I beg you to reach out. I am a good friend.

cprncus 13y ago

Anyone else have a massive P300 wave about the 3rd paragraph?

beginagain 13y ago
No idea what this means. Which makes me an idiot I guess.

typhonic 13y ago

None of us will know if Mark Cuban is truly happy. And we cannot tell for sure if you will ever be happy. What is clear from all you have said, is that riches will not make you happy. You have studied and worked to get where you are. You do not live in isolation so there must be others who have benefited from you being you. I do not doubt your temptation to give up, but I hope you choose to improve. Losing someone who has made such an impact would surely be painful to those you touched. Though you should not strive solely for wealth, you do not have to refuse that which comes to you. I believe, along the way you can find happiness. Hang in there.

beginagain 13y ago
Well you sound like an awesome fucking person who is happy with their life. What do you do for a living?
beginagain 13y ago
you only have 3 comments, both of them over a year ago, but one just for me this year? I wish we could talk.
- typhonic 13y ago
  I was captivated by your statement. I am strictly middle class, not very accomplished, not well traveled, not a leader. You seem to have the ability to have an impact which will go beyond the ordinary. I think the effect of your future efforts will be very positive, but I have to admit the chance of failure; your failure and the failure of those who should support your efforts. Including myself. I made another comment today. Maybe I should keep it up until I learn how to make a difference. By the way, I like the significance of your login ID. In the long run, that's quite a good sentiment.

g123g 13y ago

Whenever these kinds of useless and idiotic thoughts come to my mind (they often do), I think of the following quote by Steven Weinberg The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy. The important part is to understand that this human life is a farce and it does not matter what you do or do not do. So enjoy this farce as long as you can and don't overthink it.

beginagain 13y ago
I wish I was talented enough to take this advice to heart. I know it is true, and yet I am too retarded to act on it.

davidsmith8900 13y ago

- Never Give Up My Friend, & Please Stay Positive.

beginagain 13y ago
Thank you friend.

stephenbez 13y ago

The book "Enough: True Measures of Money, Business, and Life" by John Bogle (http://www.amazon.com/Enough-True-Measures-Money-Business/dp/0470524235 http://www.amazon.com/Enough-True-Measures-Money-Business/dp...) might be good for you. I read it years ago. He talks about "how destructive an obsession with financial success can be". Maybe you could change your focus outwards. For 30 days, instead of focusing on how you could amass more money, you could focus on what you could do to help the most people. You would likely feel less depressed after that. This reminds me of a poem mentioned in the book: True story, Word of Honor: Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer now dead, and I were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter island. I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel ‘Catch-22′ has earned in its entire history?” And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.” And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?” And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.” Not bad! Rest in peace!