Ties are an abomination. They are the apex of everything that is wrong with western civilization; the culmination of fluff utterly drained of whatever utility

Ties are an abomination. They are the apex of everything that is wrong with western civilization; the culmination of fluff utterly drained of whatever utility they once may have had. Ties are the peacock feather of man. OSHA should ban them as an occupational hazard. An MSDS should be required to be provided with each tie sale. It is a little known fact that the B-Ark contained all the neckties from Golgafrincham in additiion to the hairdressers, telephone sanitizers and others. The Golgafrincham neckties were initially considered as the form of legal tender on prehistoric Earth, however, it was discovered that it was too difficult to tie a proper Full Windsor with a leaf. "People with ropes around their necks don't always hang."