6 ms·

Parents and siblings. And that actually brings up an entirely other privilege I had at that time. When I first got my job at the movie theater, I was asked by n

by emhart 13y ago

Parents and siblings. And that actually brings up an entirely other privilege I had at that time. When I first got my job at the movie theater, I was asked by nearly every floor employee how many kids I had. I was one of only a handful who were yet to have children, despite all of us being ~18-26. I can't guess how restricted I would have been in my mobility if I had children to think of at that time.

Domenic_S 13y ago
Oh god, take this 'privilege' stuff back to Tumblr. Not having kids isn't privilege, it's choice. Edit because I don't want this comment to come off too aggressively: you sullied a perfectly nice set of comments and truly interesting anecdote about your life by discounting it as privilege. Since when are wise choices privilege?
- saraid216 13y ago
  Hi! Thanks for going around to all the poor families and explaining to teenagers proper family planning and sexual education, making sure that all birth controls methods are both used and failproof, and guaranteeing that no one is coerced into carrying out a pregnancy due to cultural beliefs. It's good to know all of these things are choices. It makes it a lot easier to be condescending and close-minded about the shit others go through.
- rosser 13y ago
  I think your privilege — and lack of awareness thereof — is showing... Re: your edit, it's not the choices that are privilege, but all too often, the opportunity even to make them. As a white male, I have choices, and opportunities to make them, that women and non-white people simply don't. That's privilege: not what you do with the choices you do have, but the choices you have available to you.
  - theorique 13y ago
    Referring to his specific example, however, having children at age 18 is not something that is forced upon all women and/or all non-white people.
    - rosser 13y ago
      Again, you're misunderstanding the nature of privilege. Having the choice of whether or not to have children at — or after — 18 is a privilege. There are parts of the world (arguably, even parts of the US) where young women don't get that choice, whether through (lack of) education, (lack of) access to contraception, forced marriage, or otherwise, those women have had that choice taken from them. To have the choice is the privilege, not whether or how it's exercised.
- moocowduckquack 13y ago
  You can choose some privileges.
- saraid216 13y ago
  Oh, an edit. > by discounting it as privilege He didn't. Calling it privilege didn't discount it to me, and I doubt it discounts it to those who have a basic understanding of privilege. I found it respectful that he was able to recognize it, call it out, and acknowledge its influence on his perspective. The only person discounting his contribution is you.
- emhart 13y ago
  I think when you read my comment you may have been reading it with an eye toward whatever story you have of yourself? I didn't make any wise choices. That one guy, my manager at the Kenneth Cole, made those choices for me. I wanted to get my family gifts instead of getting interview clothes for myself, I would never have even thought to apply to Kenneth Cole, instead I was poached away from a job that paid me so little that I was gathering leftover food from the theater floor for meals. And within a year or so of the context of this story, I also found myself worrying that I may have gotten someone pregnant. What I did have, that I always had, was an outgoing personality and a strong work ethic. The rest of it was a series of chance events and one forceful personality on the part of that manager. I think that maybe the larger connotation of the word "privelege" may be what has rubbed you the wrong way. How about this: "And that brings up another stroke of luck" I wasn't out there making wise choices, I was getting lucky, and I when I can ask myself what has allowed me to be lucky, I can learn about myself and the larger context of my life. When I can learn about myself and the larger context of my life, I can better understand and empathize with others.
  - Domenic_S 13y ago
    > I wasn't out there making wise choices You give yourself too little credit. I am not discounting luck -- I too have gotten very lucky in my career -- but without good decisions and hard work luck is wasted. You didn't have to accept the job at KC. You didn't have to go along with your boss' demand to spend the money on wardrobe. You didn't have to do well at that job. These are all things you did that nobody forced you to do.
    - saraid216 13y ago
      Wow. When you put it that way, you make it sound like he's a soldier obediently following orders. I've never thought of it like that before. I've never thought of wisdom as synonymous with obedience before. ...religion makes a lot more sense now.
    - mcv 13y ago
      > without good decisions and hard work luck is wasted I disagree. Luck can go a long way. Ever heard of Paris Hilton? Do you see hard work and good decisions, or simply a big pile of luck? Or how about me? I'm a fairly successful programmer, making quite a bit of money as a freelancer right now. But I don't work hard, nor did I really make a lot of hard decisions. I just kinda wound up where I am. I just went with the flow. I'm lucky to be blessed with a good brain for programming, and to be born in an academic family that loved computers. My dad and my older brother are programmers, and I just followed the family trade. There were plenty of other things that I would have liked to do, but all of them would have required a lot more decision and discipline. This was the easy road for me. I wouldn't even know how to apply for a different kind of job. The only tough step I ever made, was to switch from being a salaried employee to a freelancer. That was seriously a really big and hard step for me, and one that I messed up quite a bit. But miraculously it all worked out tremendously well.
- wonderzombie 13y ago
  Everyone makes mistakes. No one has perfect knowledge of the future. No one makes all the right choices at every point in their life, especially when they are young (and fertile). And people's economic situations change over time, sometimes for the worse. The economic freedom to be insulated from poor choices, mistakes, and the vagaries of the myriad uncontrolled factors that we call "life" is a huge privilege.

by emhart 13y ago

Domenic_S 13y ago

Oh god, take this 'privilege' stuff back to Tumblr. Not having kids isn't privilege, it's choice. Edit because I don't want this comment to come off too aggressively: you sullied a perfectly nice set of comments and truly interesting anecdote about your life by discounting it as privilege. Since when are wise choices privilege?

saraid216 13y ago
Hi! Thanks for going around to all the poor families and explaining to teenagers proper family planning and sexual education, making sure that all birth controls methods are both used and failproof, and guaranteeing that no one is coerced into carrying out a pregnancy due to cultural beliefs. It's good to know all of these things are choices. It makes it a lot easier to be condescending and close-minded about the shit others go through.
rosser 13y ago
I think your privilege — and lack of awareness thereof — is showing... Re: your edit, it's not the choices that are privilege, but all too often, the opportunity even to make them. As a white male, I have choices, and opportunities to make them, that women and non-white people simply don't. That's privilege: not what you do with the choices you do have, but the choices you have available to you.
- theorique 13y ago
  Referring to his specific example, however, having children at age 18 is not something that is forced upon all women and/or all non-white people.
  - rosser 13y ago
    Again, you're misunderstanding the nature of privilege. Having the choice of whether or not to have children at — or after — 18 is a privilege. There are parts of the world (arguably, even parts of the US) where young women don't get that choice, whether through (lack of) education, (lack of) access to contraception, forced marriage, or otherwise, those women have had that choice taken from them. To have the choice is the privilege, not whether or how it's exercised.
moocowduckquack 13y ago
You can choose some privileges.
saraid216 13y ago
Oh, an edit. > by discounting it as privilege He didn't. Calling it privilege didn't discount it to me, and I doubt it discounts it to those who have a basic understanding of privilege. I found it respectful that he was able to recognize it, call it out, and acknowledge its influence on his perspective. The only person discounting his contribution is you.
emhart 13y ago
I think when you read my comment you may have been reading it with an eye toward whatever story you have of yourself? I didn't make any wise choices. That one guy, my manager at the Kenneth Cole, made those choices for me. I wanted to get my family gifts instead of getting interview clothes for myself, I would never have even thought to apply to Kenneth Cole, instead I was poached away from a job that paid me so little that I was gathering leftover food from the theater floor for meals. And within a year or so of the context of this story, I also found myself worrying that I may have gotten someone pregnant. What I did have, that I always had, was an outgoing personality and a strong work ethic. The rest of it was a series of chance events and one forceful personality on the part of that manager. I think that maybe the larger connotation of the word "privelege" may be what has rubbed you the wrong way. How about this: "And that brings up another stroke of luck" I wasn't out there making wise choices, I was getting lucky, and I when I can ask myself what has allowed me to be lucky, I can learn about myself and the larger context of my life. When I can learn about myself and the larger context of my life, I can better understand and empathize with others.
- Domenic_S 13y ago
  > I wasn't out there making wise choices You give yourself too little credit. I am not discounting luck -- I too have gotten very lucky in my career -- but without good decisions and hard work luck is wasted. You didn't have to accept the job at KC. You didn't have to go along with your boss' demand to spend the money on wardrobe. You didn't have to do well at that job. These are all things you did that nobody forced you to do.
  - saraid216 13y ago
    Wow. When you put it that way, you make it sound like he's a soldier obediently following orders. I've never thought of it like that before. I've never thought of wisdom as synonymous with obedience before. ...religion makes a lot more sense now.
  - mcv 13y ago
    > without good decisions and hard work luck is wasted I disagree. Luck can go a long way. Ever heard of Paris Hilton? Do you see hard work and good decisions, or simply a big pile of luck? Or how about me? I'm a fairly successful programmer, making quite a bit of money as a freelancer right now. But I don't work hard, nor did I really make a lot of hard decisions. I just kinda wound up where I am. I just went with the flow. I'm lucky to be blessed with a good brain for programming, and to be born in an academic family that loved computers. My dad and my older brother are programmers, and I just followed the family trade. There were plenty of other things that I would have liked to do, but all of them would have required a lot more decision and discipline. This was the easy road for me. I wouldn't even know how to apply for a different kind of job. The only tough step I ever made, was to switch from being a salaried employee to a freelancer. That was seriously a really big and hard step for me, and one that I messed up quite a bit. But miraculously it all worked out tremendously well.
wonderzombie 13y ago
Everyone makes mistakes. No one has perfect knowledge of the future. No one makes all the right choices at every point in their life, especially when they are young (and fertile). And people's economic situations change over time, sometimes for the worse. The economic freedom to be insulated from poor choices, mistakes, and the vagaries of the myriad uncontrolled factors that we call "life" is a huge privilege.