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'One of the most interesting things I've noticed, though, is the reaction others have when I tell them I go to parties or bars by myself (or even to dinner or t
by sblawrie 13y ago
'One of the most interesting things I've noticed, though, is the reaction others have when I tell them I go to parties or bars by myself (or even to dinner or to movies alone). They're taken aback, and they almost try to marginalize you as some sort of loner.'
I've actually had the opposite experience. Sometimes I'll go to bars by myself just to hit on girls. When your friends aren't around to watch, it reduces the downside and fear of rejection.
Usually, if it's going well, I'll tell her I'm there by myself, and they tend to be impressed I had the confidence to go out by myself and approach them.
- theorique 13y agoUsually, if it's going well, I'll tell her I'm there by myself, and they tend to be impressed I had the confidence to go out by myself and approach them. Absolutely. People follow your lead. If your manner suggests that you're ashamed of what you're doing, or that you think you're doing something 'wrong' or 'awkward', they will believe that. If your manner suggests that you're engaged in the most normal activity in the world - being friendly as a human being, going out and interacting with other human beings - then you will put others at ease and they will be comfortable and friendly around you. Now, that's not to say that everyone will think it's normal. But that's OK - people who find your behavior objectionable or 'strange' are probably not a very good fit as a friend or a lover.
- jyrkesh 13y agoOh that's absolutely true for me. I was talking more about the reaction you get when you're telling your regular friends that last night you went out to a bar by yourself.