4 ms·

I have a technique for when I'm alone in a large social setting. Find other alone people. It's not hard to spot them if you're looking, and in most cases they w

I have a technique for when I'm alone in a large social setting. Find other alone people. It's not hard to spot them if you're looking, and in most cases they will appreciate the friendliness. This works especially well in a situation like a networking event or large party where it is unlikely that attendees will know everyone else.

josefresco 13y ago
"It's not hard to spot them if you're looking" This scares the shit out of the socially awkward or those the article is referring to. When entering a situation where I know almost no one, I always try to comfort myself by repeating things like "not everyone is looking at you" and "you are just like everyone else here". However often times I take your advice and seek out other seemingly alone people and you're right, they're usually easy to spot .. if you're looking.
- rcknight 13y ago
  Both of these statements can be true ... if you specifically look around for people who are by themselves, they are easy to spot ... but the majority of people are not looking!
- tekalon 13y ago
  I have to agree. With my social anxiety I tend to be internally thinking 'Why are you talking to me, when can I get out of here'
throwmeaway2525 13y ago
Can't I upvote this twice? (It's the sort of comment that makes wading through a morass of negativity worthwhile.)
sjtgraham 13y ago
That's a great tip.
nollidge 13y ago
My go-to icebreaker is "so, how do you know {party_host}?" Then share with them how you know {party_host}. That establishes a few things: 1) Instant connection - we both know {party_host} 2) You learn a detail about them (occupation, hobby, hometown) 3) They learn a detail about you 4) You've told someone why you're there, so then you won't feel like everyone's questioning your presence 5) You've got a starting point for talking to more people (introduce this person to someone else you know, and/or they'll do likewise)

josefresco 13y ago

"It's not hard to spot them if you're looking" This scares the shit out of the socially awkward or those the article is referring to. When entering a situation where I know almost no one, I always try to comfort myself by repeating things like "not everyone is looking at you" and "you are just like everyone else here". However often times I take your advice and seek out other seemingly alone people and you're right, they're usually easy to spot .. if you're looking.

rcknight 13y ago
Both of these statements can be true ... if you specifically look around for people who are by themselves, they are easy to spot ... but the majority of people are not looking!
tekalon 13y ago
I have to agree. With my social anxiety I tend to be internally thinking 'Why are you talking to me, when can I get out of here'

throwmeaway2525 13y ago

Can't I upvote this twice? (It's the sort of comment that makes wading through a morass of negativity worthwhile.)

sjtgraham 13y ago

That's a great tip.

nollidge 13y ago

My go-to icebreaker is "so, how do you know {party_host}?" Then share with them how you know {party_host}. That establishes a few things: 1) Instant connection - we both know {party_host} 2) You learn a detail about them (occupation, hobby, hometown) 3) They learn a detail about you 4) You've told someone why you're there, so then you won't feel like everyone's questioning your presence 5) You've got a starting point for talking to more people (introduce this person to someone else you know, and/or they'll do likewise)