Tell the audience why they want it. Not what it does. And be specific. "Make smarter decisions and increase revenue!" does not mean anything. You could literal

Tell the audience why they want it. Not what it does. And be specific. "Make smarter decisions and increase revenue!" does not mean anything. You could literally say that about anything. What does your product specifically help them with? Also, the exclamation mark seems condescending, like it's a service for kids. But that's just my personal taste.