You're hitting on a fundamental truth here: dating's crappy power dynamics actively chips away at our very humanity. We're to be content with these cheap proxie

You're hitting on a fundamental truth here: dating's crappy power dynamics actively chips away at our very humanity. We're to be content with these cheap proxies and massive game-playing, because, well, sorry, everyone else has bought in too. This is most closely evidenced by proponents of every creepy dating mindset: "it must be true, because this is what animals do!" Maybe this is the fallout of mass consumerism, and a lifetime of being told that you can have it all. Dating sites pander to this too, by implicitly advertising love as just a mere SQL query away: SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE gender = 'm' AND salary > 150000 AND height > 72 SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE gender = 'f' AND age < 27 AND looks > 9.8 I've always thought a dating site that was less search-y and more experiential (aka requires time to actually meet people) could be a profitable niche. You meet people first, then get access to look at their profiles. As for expectations, I love what my pastor said: "you probably don't deserve the person you think you deserve."