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Hmm.. It's not too hard. Know a bit of good music, read a bit, don't be super boring, be passionate about something. Go to meetups for your interests and meet p

by rfnslyr 13y ago

Hmm.. It's not too hard. Know a bit of good music, read a bit, don't be super boring, be passionate about something. Go to meetups for your interests and meet people that way. Rarely fails and you're bound to find someone with the same interests. Don't go on dating sites, except for maybe okcupid. But even then, things like Reddit meetups, concerts, meetup.com meetups, are where you should meet people. Don't go to the bar either. If you're in public, go up to someone and say "Hi, I'm x and y" followed by something relating to wherever you are. I've had great success with this, at the very least, you'll get a coffee date, at worst, a fake number. It's not hard, you just need to put yourself out there. Screw rejection.

probably_wrong 13y ago
I know I'm nitpicking, but still. I'm passionate about my hobbies, and in fact I have plenty: I've programmed since I was 10, I practiced martial arts for over 10 years, I draw as a hobby and I've been learning how to play piano for a couple years now. What do all those activities have in common? They are all either solitary or 95% men. Approaching random people in public is also a big no-no in my country. I know my case might not be the average (although it could be in HN), but if I had a point I think it would be: whatever you need to do, it will almost certainly be outside your comfort zone. Painting it as effortlessly sends the wrong vibe, IMHO - it should be more like "ok, yes, it is hard, and yes, it will hurt a bit, but it will be worth it".
beachstartup 13y ago
just be yourself! from someone who figured it out only slightly later than average (mid-20s) but can empathize to those who had a much tougher time, this kind of non-advice advice is the worst kind of advice because it deludes you into thinking you don't have to change. yes, keep going to reddit meetups! you will surely get laid there if you are having trouble understanding how sexual dynamics work! if you're having trouble romantically or sexually, seek actual help from the endless resources available to you in the year 2013, don't listen to this kind of drivel.
- rfnslyr 13y ago
  That's the whole point. You do have to change, and not changing, then complaining about not getting dates, is hurting you. Find people in the same subculture as you.
sanskritabelt 13y ago
The problem with going to reddit meetups is you stand a high risk of meeting the kind of person who posts on reddit.
ahh 13y ago
You're extremely attractive. Good for you. Your advice is useless for the median dateless loser. "Put yourself out there. Screw rejection." is great advice for someone who women want to talk to; it does not help for those who they're not interested in. To get you a better idea: I have a friend who's stunningly handsome, suave as can be, married to one of the most beautiful women I know, &c. We both have dogs. One day we're chatting about how we walk dogs, and he tells me "Man, don't you hate it when girls keep stopping you to coo at your dog?" It had _never occurred to him_ that this was happening because of his attractiveness, not his dog's; the girls were using his dog as an excuse. That sort of thing doesn't happen to me and never will. Stop giving advice without actually understanding why you succeeded.

by rfnslyr 13y ago

probably_wrong 13y ago

I know I'm nitpicking, but still. I'm passionate about my hobbies, and in fact I have plenty: I've programmed since I was 10, I practiced martial arts for over 10 years, I draw as a hobby and I've been learning how to play piano for a couple years now. What do all those activities have in common? They are all either solitary or 95% men. Approaching random people in public is also a big no-no in my country. I know my case might not be the average (although it could be in HN), but if I had a point I think it would be: whatever you need to do, it will almost certainly be outside your comfort zone. Painting it as effortlessly sends the wrong vibe, IMHO - it should be more like "ok, yes, it is hard, and yes, it will hurt a bit, but it will be worth it".

beachstartup 13y ago

just be yourself! from someone who figured it out only slightly later than average (mid-20s) but can empathize to those who had a much tougher time, this kind of non-advice advice is the worst kind of advice because it deludes you into thinking you don't have to change. yes, keep going to reddit meetups! you will surely get laid there if you are having trouble understanding how sexual dynamics work! if you're having trouble romantically or sexually, seek actual help from the endless resources available to you in the year 2013, don't listen to this kind of drivel.

rfnslyr 13y ago
That's the whole point. You do have to change, and not changing, then complaining about not getting dates, is hurting you. Find people in the same subculture as you.

sanskritabelt 13y ago

The problem with going to reddit meetups is you stand a high risk of meeting the kind of person who posts on reddit.

ahh 13y ago

You're extremely attractive. Good for you. Your advice is useless for the median dateless loser. "Put yourself out there. Screw rejection." is great advice for someone who women want to talk to; it does not help for those who they're not interested in. To get you a better idea: I have a friend who's stunningly handsome, suave as can be, married to one of the most beautiful women I know, &c. We both have dogs. One day we're chatting about how we walk dogs, and he tells me "Man, don't you hate it when girls keep stopping you to coo at your dog?" It had _never occurred to him_ that this was happening because of his attractiveness, not his dog's; the girls were using his dog as an excuse. That sort of thing doesn't happen to me and never will. Stop giving advice without actually understanding why you succeeded.