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After a sleepless night, I think I've come up with a multi stage plan to help lose the extra weight, until he's out of the danger weight zone (he doesn't have t

by DYZT 13y ago

After a sleepless night, I think I've come up with a multi stage plan to help lose the extra weight, until he's out of the danger weight zone (he doesn't have to be slim, just not obese). Would love some advice: Conduct several changes to effect his lifestyle and make it healthier 1. Disconnect the TV and get the 3 seat sofa of the the living room. This way he won't fall asleep in front of the TV. This will help him with regular sleep. 2. Not buy unhealthy food. Sign up for a service providing fresh salads each day. Put a salad in his car. For him to always have a healthy alternative that's easier to obtain than other fatting alternatives. 3. Blocks his drive way with wood a metal. Should make him look for parking that atleast 15 mins away from home. 15 mins in each direction is a 30 min daily walk. Force him for some exercise. 4. Fill the house with scales. In every room. Scales that can support his weight. For him not to avoid it. 5. Define together with him his weight target. Find a dietitian willing to come to our house at 9 pm when he finishes working to help him estimate his progress. 6. Getting his brother involved. He appreciates his older brother and enjoys talking to him. Ask for his brother to come over once a week and go walking with him (he lives near by). 7. He also has a very good friend from work (they've been working together for 35 years or more). Not sure how he can effectively help though. Ideas? 8. I Built up a weekly table, each of the family members (we're a few brothers married with or with girlfriends, and I've got a healthy mother). In each hour or two someone else needs to phone him to ask him how's his day / diet going and what he's had to eat today. When he's coming home and when he's going walking. Any other ideas will be greatly appreciated. Thanks

BlackJack 13y ago
You should try to understand what he eats and why. Is it just a lot of junk food? He might not be feeling full, because fast food is not very satiating. Try adding more protein and fat in his diet and reducing carbohydrates. I'm not saying a ketogenic diet - just changing the proportions a bit to see if he feels fuller. You can try to help all you want but he's a grown man and will have to decide by himself. Show that he can eat yummy things that will keep him full - as long as he has a caloric deficit, he will lose weight. Eating salads all day won't satisfy anybody. Try eating meals with him. Good luck!
castlerobot 13y ago
I would try to figure out what's stopping him from getting help; it could be that he's avoiding the issue because deep down he's ashamed of his appearance/health/etc and feels like he's letting everyone/himself down. If that's the case, some of your ideas might cause even more shame and push him in the opposite direction you're intending. Instead of just singling him out and isolating him as an object of shame, make healthy living an activity the whole family's involved in. Track everyone's weight loss in percentages like Biggest Loser, get everyone in the family committed to trying healthy recipes, center your get-togethers around healthy eating and family activities that everyone can enjoy. If everyone else is committed to it, he won't feel so alone and like you're trying to punish him.
dirtyaura 13y ago
Just from my anectodal experience, low carb diets seem to be easier to follow for people who like meat: fats and proteins are something that many people from older generations consider "real" good food. Also eating lots of carbs is sp much easier than eating lots of proteins and fats, that it's simple to reduce your caloric intake by reducing carbs. if your dad enjoys numbers, wifi scales like Fitbit Aria can make it much effortless to track weight and not be de-motivated by natural daily variations in your weight.
DanielBMarkham 13y ago
You really need to come to a decision about whether you are friends with your dad or not. Sounds weird, but friends stay friends even when one of them does something to hurt themselves. It just makes them sad. I can't stress enough to you how important it is that you make peace with this. It's your dad's life. He may chose to die this way. If so, respect that choice. Having said that, something you might want to consider is a CPAP. Most severely overweight people have difficulty breathing at night. This difficultly is actually very difficult on their heart. Doing a sleep study and getting his sleep straightened out could lead to weight loss. It has in many people. If nothing else, it would drastically cut down on the stress is heart could be going through every night.
epc 13y ago
I still think you should have the blunt conversation with him, but perhaps use that as an opening to "let me help you manage this process" and pick one or two changes to start with. Too much change at once == massive resistance. Small changes may seem like they don't have much impact, can build up over time. Can you take a 30 minute walk with him every day? Every couple of days?

by DYZT 13y ago

BlackJack 13y ago

You should try to understand what he eats and why. Is it just a lot of junk food? He might not be feeling full, because fast food is not very satiating. Try adding more protein and fat in his diet and reducing carbohydrates. I'm not saying a ketogenic diet - just changing the proportions a bit to see if he feels fuller. You can try to help all you want but he's a grown man and will have to decide by himself. Show that he can eat yummy things that will keep him full - as long as he has a caloric deficit, he will lose weight. Eating salads all day won't satisfy anybody. Try eating meals with him. Good luck!

castlerobot 13y ago

I would try to figure out what's stopping him from getting help; it could be that he's avoiding the issue because deep down he's ashamed of his appearance/health/etc and feels like he's letting everyone/himself down. If that's the case, some of your ideas might cause even more shame and push him in the opposite direction you're intending. Instead of just singling him out and isolating him as an object of shame, make healthy living an activity the whole family's involved in. Track everyone's weight loss in percentages like Biggest Loser, get everyone in the family committed to trying healthy recipes, center your get-togethers around healthy eating and family activities that everyone can enjoy. If everyone else is committed to it, he won't feel so alone and like you're trying to punish him.

dirtyaura 13y ago

Just from my anectodal experience, low carb diets seem to be easier to follow for people who like meat: fats and proteins are something that many people from older generations consider "real" good food. Also eating lots of carbs is sp much easier than eating lots of proteins and fats, that it's simple to reduce your caloric intake by reducing carbs. if your dad enjoys numbers, wifi scales like Fitbit Aria can make it much effortless to track weight and not be de-motivated by natural daily variations in your weight.

DanielBMarkham 13y ago

You really need to come to a decision about whether you are friends with your dad or not. Sounds weird, but friends stay friends even when one of them does something to hurt themselves. It just makes them sad. I can't stress enough to you how important it is that you make peace with this. It's your dad's life. He may chose to die this way. If so, respect that choice. Having said that, something you might want to consider is a CPAP. Most severely overweight people have difficulty breathing at night. This difficultly is actually very difficult on their heart. Doing a sleep study and getting his sleep straightened out could lead to weight loss. It has in many people. If nothing else, it would drastically cut down on the stress is heart could be going through every night.

epc 13y ago

I still think you should have the blunt conversation with him, but perhaps use that as an opening to "let me help you manage this process" and pick one or two changes to start with. Too much change at once == massive resistance. Small changes may seem like they don't have much impact, can build up over time. Can you take a 30 minute walk with him every day? Every couple of days?