4 ms·

Poll: Do you feel lonely?

17 points by AlexMuir 13y ago

claudiug 13y ago
only when I'm alone
- icebraining 13y ago
  Not me. The few times I've felt lonely, it was never when I was alone.
  - gokuismyhero 13y ago
    I actually do tend to feel more isolated around real people. At least when I'm alone I have random Internet strangers to keep me company.
  - a3n 13y ago
    The loneliest I've ever felt was when I was in a relationship.
- throw_away 13y ago
  "loneliness is not a function of solitude" — David Foster Wallace
chrsm 13y ago
99.9% of the time, yes.
elwell 13y ago
I've often felt that in a physical world there is always separation between people. Heaven to me is unification with God and others; a oneness. Thanks for reading this far, now you can downvote me.
- krmmalik 13y ago
  I realise that atheism is probably the fastest growing belief system around the world now and that any mention of God often gets a double-take but having to apologise for it just strikes me as odd. I really resonated with what you said.
fakeaccountobv 13y ago
All the time. Not because there aren't people around, but because few people I meet in RL really get what it means to be an entrepreneur and what drives one. I just don't relate to most people's motivations and most people don't relate to mine. Fake account because here's my secret to curing any and all loneliness: LSD. Not at all joking.
benched 13y ago
Loneliness is the bane of my entire existence. My biggest, life-long source of dissatisfaction with life itself.
- aamar 13y ago
  Is loneliness the immediate problem? Or is it a failure of an anticipated solution to a different problem?
- krmmalik 13y ago
  Mine too, until I decided to do something about it 2 weeks ago. Really happy now.
coralreef 13y ago
Social life is probably the biggest imbalance in my life. I'm an independent developer, so my passive income allows me to live a lifestyle of my choosing. I get to choose the projects I want to work on, choose what I want to learn, choose when I sleep/work/exercise and how often. However I haven't gone out with friends in something like 4 years. Its not that I don't want to, I guess I have social anxiety. You say no a few times, they stop asking, and time and distance just drift relationships apart. I feel really envious of friendships on TV shows - the idea of a tight knit group of friends who are there for each other and get into shenanigans. It seems like that's how your suppose to live, but I haven't had more than a few friends in one room since college.
- Friterie 13y ago
  Stating the obvious but it will never happen if you don't do anything about it.. As a developer meetups and hackerspaces could be a great way to start. It worked for me. Turning up the first time is the hardest. It's still difficult after that but it's a little easier each time until finally it's a pleasure most of the time.
- prezjordan 13y ago
  > You say no a few times, they stop asking, and time and distance just drift relationships apart. I've been on both sides of this, and I've found that when I get a few "no"s from someone I'm fairly close to, I can't help but think they don't like me - even though from experience their "no"s might just come from their anxiety. There's simply no way to tell - and it stinks for both parties.
- krmmalik 13y ago
  I spent a long time working on a business that completely consumed me. It was remote IT support so i spent 90% of my time indoors behind my computer desk. It was 24/7 support so most of the time, i just couldn't go out. After a few years I didn't even notice that I hadn't been out in so long and the social anxiety creeped in very slowly. Just as bad was the fact that getting up and dresses early in the morning - say into a suit - and then commuting for even just say 30mins seems like a mammoth task. I realise it's all psychological but it's been there for a long time. I kmow exactly how you feel; same with the envy of the friendship of tight knit groups. For the benefit of my social life, my work now isn't much better either. I'm in a rather specific niche and operate as a lone ranger. I love what I do as a vocation but it i'm sure it hurts my social life one way or another. Nonetheless, I've had to force myself to move to a major city. I make sure I work outside of home at least 3x a week. I try to make sure at least 30% of my clients are those I meet in person and not just remote clients (though i love my remote clients. theyre so much fun) - and i'm forcing myself to meet new people every week. I literally just got back from a conference and met a few people and tomorrow i'm meeting someone new too. I really regret not working this into my life sooner. I feel as if i haven't lived. True story.

17 points by AlexMuir 13y ago

claudiug 13y ago

only when I'm alone

icebraining 13y ago
Not me. The few times I've felt lonely, it was never when I was alone.
- gokuismyhero 13y ago
  I actually do tend to feel more isolated around real people. At least when I'm alone I have random Internet strangers to keep me company.
- a3n 13y ago
  The loneliest I've ever felt was when I was in a relationship.
throw_away 13y ago
"loneliness is not a function of solitude" — David Foster Wallace

chrsm 13y ago

99.9% of the time, yes.

elwell 13y ago

I've often felt that in a physical world there is always separation between people. Heaven to me is unification with God and others; a oneness. Thanks for reading this far, now you can downvote me.

krmmalik 13y ago
I realise that atheism is probably the fastest growing belief system around the world now and that any mention of God often gets a double-take but having to apologise for it just strikes me as odd. I really resonated with what you said.

fakeaccountobv 13y ago

All the time. Not because there aren't people around, but because few people I meet in RL really get what it means to be an entrepreneur and what drives one. I just don't relate to most people's motivations and most people don't relate to mine. Fake account because here's my secret to curing any and all loneliness: LSD. Not at all joking.

benched 13y ago

Loneliness is the bane of my entire existence. My biggest, life-long source of dissatisfaction with life itself.

aamar 13y ago
Is loneliness the immediate problem? Or is it a failure of an anticipated solution to a different problem?
krmmalik 13y ago
Mine too, until I decided to do something about it 2 weeks ago. Really happy now.

coralreef 13y ago

Social life is probably the biggest imbalance in my life. I'm an independent developer, so my passive income allows me to live a lifestyle of my choosing. I get to choose the projects I want to work on, choose what I want to learn, choose when I sleep/work/exercise and how often. However I haven't gone out with friends in something like 4 years. Its not that I don't want to, I guess I have social anxiety. You say no a few times, they stop asking, and time and distance just drift relationships apart. I feel really envious of friendships on TV shows - the idea of a tight knit group of friends who are there for each other and get into shenanigans. It seems like that's how your suppose to live, but I haven't had more than a few friends in one room since college.

Friterie 13y ago
Stating the obvious but it will never happen if you don't do anything about it.. As a developer meetups and hackerspaces could be a great way to start. It worked for me. Turning up the first time is the hardest. It's still difficult after that but it's a little easier each time until finally it's a pleasure most of the time.
prezjordan 13y ago
> You say no a few times, they stop asking, and time and distance just drift relationships apart. I've been on both sides of this, and I've found that when I get a few "no"s from someone I'm fairly close to, I can't help but think they don't like me - even though from experience their "no"s might just come from their anxiety. There's simply no way to tell - and it stinks for both parties.
krmmalik 13y ago
I spent a long time working on a business that completely consumed me. It was remote IT support so i spent 90% of my time indoors behind my computer desk. It was 24/7 support so most of the time, i just couldn't go out. After a few years I didn't even notice that I hadn't been out in so long and the social anxiety creeped in very slowly. Just as bad was the fact that getting up and dresses early in the morning - say into a suit - and then commuting for even just say 30mins seems like a mammoth task. I realise it's all psychological but it's been there for a long time. I kmow exactly how you feel; same with the envy of the friendship of tight knit groups. For the benefit of my social life, my work now isn't much better either. I'm in a rather specific niche and operate as a lone ranger. I love what I do as a vocation but it i'm sure it hurts my social life one way or another. Nonetheless, I've had to force myself to move to a major city. I make sure I work outside of home at least 3x a week. I try to make sure at least 30% of my clients are those I meet in person and not just remote clients (though i love my remote clients. theyre so much fun) - and i'm forcing myself to meet new people every week. I literally just got back from a conference and met a few people and tomorrow i'm meeting someone new too. I really regret not working this into my life sooner. I feel as if i haven't lived. True story.