5 ms·

When we got our first child, my wife also went on a sharing spree, trying to put everything on Facebook. When I noticed that we had a long talk where I explaine

by tzaman 13y ago

When we got our first child, my wife also went on a sharing spree, trying to put everything on Facebook. When I noticed that we had a long talk where I explained to her that even a newborn deserves his own privacy, just as us adults do and she admitted she didn't think of that and from there on, we just post really significant stuff that won't embarrass our kids when they grow up.

scotty79 13y ago
How can you, adult, be embarrassed by something you did as a toddler or even 5 year old?
- k__ 13y ago
  Good question. Parents tend to be paranoid, can't help it. Last week a friend of mine asked me, what I think about piercings, because his daughter (15) wants one. He was all, she's going to destroy her body and life and all.
- reginaldjcooper 13y ago
  I am embarrassed due to dumb shit I said when I was 5 due to cognitive bias. If you browse tumblr for a while this is a pretty common trope among humans.
  - scotty79 13y ago
    Isn't that embarrassment something that should be addressed? Child is born as a racist sadist and gradually becomes socialized as circuitry for empathy developes. I have done some stuff as a kid I wish I haven't but I can't be embarrassed about it. I didn't have a properly developed brain back then. Being a kid is like having a condition. You can't hold yourself responsible for what your body did then.
    - reginaldjcooper 13y ago
      I guess it should be addressed. I can reach a logical conclusion that I should not be, for the same reasons you state. I in fact feel like an almost completely different entity than young me. And yet I still wince a bit to think of this stuff. But should I see a therapist to address my feelings about crying due to the results of a children's athletic competition? I guess I ultimately wouldn't care if my friends knew that one, but I can empathize with people that would feel super uncomfortable.
- tzaman 13y ago
  Easily - imagine your parents posting your fully nude pictures on FB? Would you be 100% ok with that, even 20-or-so years later?
  - scotty79 13y ago
    Why the hell should that be embarrassing? My body looks totally different now.
    - LekkoscPiwa 13y ago
      I can look them up. Drunk Polish guy laughing at you ;-) Enjoying it yet?
      - scotty79 13y ago
        Sober Polish adult still doesn't care.
  - chad_oliver 13y ago
    To be honest, I wouldn't have a problem with that. Of course, it would be quite different if those pictures were taken when I was an adult. The crux of the issue is that I'm not who I was. Baby chad_oliver was a different person.
  - DanBC 13y ago
    > imagine your parents posting your fully nude pictures on FB? There is a small but very vocal element in the UK who would be horrified by that, and who would call the police and child protection social services. I know it's stupid, and that parents have photographs on their children in baths, but these people have caused some problems for parents wishing to take photographs. School sports days, school plays, your child playing at a playground or in the park - all of these have been made difficult places to take photographs at. Luckily, it's less of a problem now than it was a few years ago.
- ne0phyte 13y ago
  I don't think that's the problem. You know how cruel kids can be. Imagine your classmates in 4th grade would find pictures of you bathing naked. There simply is no good reason to share such photos publicly/online. Show them to your friends on your phone if you really ahve to. "Once uploaded, a picture stays forever". There are plenty of cases where embarrassing pictures went viral and destroyed whole lifes.
  - scotty79 13y ago
    > You know how cruel kids can be. Imagine your classmates in 4th grade would find pictures of you bathing naked. Kids will take any reason they can find to pick on somebody if they feel like picking on somebody. Anything that sets their victim apart from them. They might pick on your kid exactly because there's no pictures of him on the web. They might infer from that that he's adopted, his parent's can afford computer, his parent beat him so badly as a child that they couldn't post his pictures because police would lock them up and so on. You don't fight crime by second guessing criminals. You don't fight bullies by trying to imagine what excuse bullies would use to attack your kid. You just fight them as they show up. > There are plenty of cases where embarrassing pictures went viral and destroyed whole lifes. Same argument might be posed against anything that is even remotely fun or public or both. There are some people who gained massively from their pictures or videos going viral and overwhelming amount of people who gained or lost exactly nothing.
    - ne0phyte 13y ago
      > Kids will take any reason they can find to pick on somebody if they feel like picking on somebody. Anything that sets their victim apart from them. Then why add even more fuel to the fire? >Same argument might be posed against anything that is even remotely fun or public or both. There are some people who gained massively from their pictures or videos going viral and overwhelming amount of people who gained or lost exactly nothing. Yes, it was advantageous to some people that their video/s or picture/s went viral. But what does the chance of that happening have to do with people posting pictures of their half-naked kids? Would you want your kid to become a meme that gets posted everywhere? Of course there is the chance that things a kid does in public can be embarrassing, too, but again: what does that have to do with the chance that some picture or video that _your parents_ shared online starts to gain traction? Oh and I'm 20 years old so I obviously don't have kids yet. I just know what it feels like to get bullied.
- yardie 13y ago
  Let me see: there was the time I proclaimed to not like Scots because of their participation in the Atlantic slave trade. I was 7 or 8, started reading a book on the subject without understanding the context. The time I declared all diamonds "pubic zirconiums". 50 years ago it was "cute" to take pictures of kids in their your little KKK outfits. Somehow posting that on the net, with a real name, for eternity, might not be wise. The point is kids say and do the darndest things. They rely on adults to be their filter and quite a few are doing a really poor job of it.
  - scotty79 13y ago
    Too long ago to even remember when, I said to a some kid that I'm detonating hydrogen bomb while I was just trying to lit up some hydrogen I had in plastic bag (didn't work, I produced way too little, I was always impatient). I wish I haven't said that because that was inaccurate (I hope there was not much harm done), but I can't say that I'm really embarrassed.
    - yardie 13y ago
      Hello, NSA? we've got a live one here ^^ :)

by tzaman 13y ago

scotty79 13y ago

How can you, adult, be embarrassed by something you did as a toddler or even 5 year old?

k__ 13y ago
Good question. Parents tend to be paranoid, can't help it. Last week a friend of mine asked me, what I think about piercings, because his daughter (15) wants one. He was all, she's going to destroy her body and life and all.
reginaldjcooper 13y ago
I am embarrassed due to dumb shit I said when I was 5 due to cognitive bias. If you browse tumblr for a while this is a pretty common trope among humans.
- scotty79 13y ago
  Isn't that embarrassment something that should be addressed? Child is born as a racist sadist and gradually becomes socialized as circuitry for empathy developes. I have done some stuff as a kid I wish I haven't but I can't be embarrassed about it. I didn't have a properly developed brain back then. Being a kid is like having a condition. You can't hold yourself responsible for what your body did then.
  - reginaldjcooper 13y ago
    I guess it should be addressed. I can reach a logical conclusion that I should not be, for the same reasons you state. I in fact feel like an almost completely different entity than young me. And yet I still wince a bit to think of this stuff. But should I see a therapist to address my feelings about crying due to the results of a children's athletic competition? I guess I ultimately wouldn't care if my friends knew that one, but I can empathize with people that would feel super uncomfortable.
tzaman 13y ago
Easily - imagine your parents posting your fully nude pictures on FB? Would you be 100% ok with that, even 20-or-so years later?
- scotty79 13y ago
  Why the hell should that be embarrassing? My body looks totally different now.
  - LekkoscPiwa 13y ago
    I can look them up. Drunk Polish guy laughing at you ;-) Enjoying it yet?
    - scotty79 13y ago
      Sober Polish adult still doesn't care.
- chad_oliver 13y ago
  To be honest, I wouldn't have a problem with that. Of course, it would be quite different if those pictures were taken when I was an adult. The crux of the issue is that I'm not who I was. Baby chad_oliver was a different person.
- DanBC 13y ago
  > imagine your parents posting your fully nude pictures on FB? There is a small but very vocal element in the UK who would be horrified by that, and who would call the police and child protection social services. I know it's stupid, and that parents have photographs on their children in baths, but these people have caused some problems for parents wishing to take photographs. School sports days, school plays, your child playing at a playground or in the park - all of these have been made difficult places to take photographs at. Luckily, it's less of a problem now than it was a few years ago.
ne0phyte 13y ago
I don't think that's the problem. You know how cruel kids can be. Imagine your classmates in 4th grade would find pictures of you bathing naked. There simply is no good reason to share such photos publicly/online. Show them to your friends on your phone if you really ahve to. "Once uploaded, a picture stays forever". There are plenty of cases where embarrassing pictures went viral and destroyed whole lifes.
- scotty79 13y ago
  > You know how cruel kids can be. Imagine your classmates in 4th grade would find pictures of you bathing naked. Kids will take any reason they can find to pick on somebody if they feel like picking on somebody. Anything that sets their victim apart from them. They might pick on your kid exactly because there's no pictures of him on the web. They might infer from that that he's adopted, his parent's can afford computer, his parent beat him so badly as a child that they couldn't post his pictures because police would lock them up and so on. You don't fight crime by second guessing criminals. You don't fight bullies by trying to imagine what excuse bullies would use to attack your kid. You just fight them as they show up. > There are plenty of cases where embarrassing pictures went viral and destroyed whole lifes. Same argument might be posed against anything that is even remotely fun or public or both. There are some people who gained massively from their pictures or videos going viral and overwhelming amount of people who gained or lost exactly nothing.
  - ne0phyte 13y ago
    > Kids will take any reason they can find to pick on somebody if they feel like picking on somebody. Anything that sets their victim apart from them. Then why add even more fuel to the fire? >Same argument might be posed against anything that is even remotely fun or public or both. There are some people who gained massively from their pictures or videos going viral and overwhelming amount of people who gained or lost exactly nothing. Yes, it was advantageous to some people that their video/s or picture/s went viral. But what does the chance of that happening have to do with people posting pictures of their half-naked kids? Would you want your kid to become a meme that gets posted everywhere? Of course there is the chance that things a kid does in public can be embarrassing, too, but again: what does that have to do with the chance that some picture or video that _your parents_ shared online starts to gain traction? Oh and I'm 20 years old so I obviously don't have kids yet. I just know what it feels like to get bullied.
yardie 13y ago
Let me see: there was the time I proclaimed to not like Scots because of their participation in the Atlantic slave trade. I was 7 or 8, started reading a book on the subject without understanding the context. The time I declared all diamonds "pubic zirconiums". 50 years ago it was "cute" to take pictures of kids in their your little KKK outfits. Somehow posting that on the net, with a real name, for eternity, might not be wise. The point is kids say and do the darndest things. They rely on adults to be their filter and quite a few are doing a really poor job of it.
- scotty79 13y ago
  Too long ago to even remember when, I said to a some kid that I'm detonating hydrogen bomb while I was just trying to lit up some hydrogen I had in plastic bag (didn't work, I produced way too little, I was always impatient). I wish I haven't said that because that was inaccurate (I hope there was not much harm done), but I can't say that I'm really embarrassed.
  - yardie 13y ago
    Hello, NSA? we've got a live one here ^^ :)