4 ms·

As a former wallflower who now routinely gets mistaken for an extrovert, I just want to encourage us introverts out there that being social is a skill, just lik

by nthj 13y ago

As a former wallflower who now routinely gets mistaken for an extrovert, I just want to encourage us introverts out there that being social is a skill, just like marketing, programming, or reading. As with any skill, some people are born naturals and others have to work at it a bit more, but you CAN improve if you set your mind to it. The frustrating thing is that often us nerds spent all of high school learning advanced chemistry and how to code in 3 different languages while everybody else spent it improving their social skills (parties!)—so we have to catch up with everybody else. But you CAN catch up. And it's worth the attempt. Some of my best clients are people I introduced myself to; some of my best friends I met by just throwing myself out there in a large group. 3 years ago nthj was afraid he was wired this way and could never change. If he had just known that eventually he would, I think the struggle would have been a lot easier.

wikiburner 13y ago
Just curious, how old were you when you made the big switch? I wonder if it's one of those things that's harder to learn the further along in life you are, like learning a foreign language, learning to code, playing an instrument, etc.?
- CraigJPerry 13y ago
  There's no magic. Sit down and draw up a list of: * 5 ice breaker questions (you don't need more, 1 is really enough but us geeks feel guilty reusing conversation where good conversationalists reuse everything all the time) * 10 general life stories about you from completely different aspects. Now practice telling these. Deliver them slower than you think is right because you'll naturally tend to aim for efficiency but what you should aim for is being interesting. Use open body language in the mirror while practicing. Smile. I think anyone can do this really and this puts you in the top 25%. Seriously even normal less techie people are terrible at this too so have heart!
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]

by nthj 13y ago

wikiburner 13y ago

Just curious, how old were you when you made the big switch? I wonder if it's one of those things that's harder to learn the further along in life you are, like learning a foreign language, learning to code, playing an instrument, etc.?

CraigJPerry 13y ago
There's no magic. Sit down and draw up a list of: * 5 ice breaker questions (you don't need more, 1 is really enough but us geeks feel guilty reusing conversation where good conversationalists reuse everything all the time) * 10 general life stories about you from completely different aspects. Now practice telling these. Deliver them slower than you think is right because you'll naturally tend to aim for efficiency but what you should aim for is being interesting. Use open body language in the mirror while practicing. Smile. I think anyone can do this really and this puts you in the top 25%. Seriously even normal less techie people are terrible at this too so have heart!

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]