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Holy shit. This is the top post? This? This victim blaming bullshit? (Just because you say it’s not victim blaming doesn’t make it not victim blaming.) Consent

by arrrg 13y ago

Holy shit. This is the top post? This? This victim blaming bullshit? (Just because you say it’s not victim blaming doesn’t make it not victim blaming.) Consent to one thing (whatever that may be) does not imply consent to another thing. If you fail to make sure consent exists you always run the risk of doing something non-consensual. If that’s a risk you want to take, well, then do it. If you believe in your infallible abilities to read body language go for it. But don’t complain when others call you out for sexual assault or rape. (This doesn’t even begin to address the power imbalance of the relationship.) You should re-think the tons of empathy you seem to have for this guy, based on some imaginary life-destroying effects of this blogpost, all the while you seem to have exactly zero empathy for her. Think about that.

jacobtracey 13y ago
It's possible to sympathise with both of their mixed up lives. Do you always ask your partner if you can kiss or have sex with them?
dec0dedab0de 13y ago
Maybe I missed something, but the power imbalance seemed to be the only issue. If he wasn't her boss, then she wouldn't have been afraid to say no.
heed 13y ago
You're right he is victim blaming. Except, he says both parties were victims in their own way.
- arrrg 13y ago
  At this point I have a hard time seeing how her boss can be considered a victim here. (It’s sad that I have to add this, but this is obviously assuming her account is truthful.) If you do the stuff described in the blog post you might be sorry, it might have been a mistake you made while you were drunk and you might have had no intentions of committing sexual assault or being in any way malicious but you still committed sexual assault. Having good intentions (which the parent comment was also only speculating about) doesn’t change that, really. Maybe he is a victim of his brain making stupid decisions? I don’t know. That’s how I sometimes feel when I make mistakes. He is only a victim if she is falsely accusing him. Are you making that case?
JackdawX 13y ago
Good call. In what situation is it going to be acceptable to put your hands down someones pants in public? It's difficult to imagine any situation in which this isn't crossing a line. I don't see how that behaviour can be condoned.

by arrrg 13y ago

jacobtracey 13y ago

It's possible to sympathise with both of their mixed up lives. Do you always ask your partner if you can kiss or have sex with them?

dec0dedab0de 13y ago

Maybe I missed something, but the power imbalance seemed to be the only issue. If he wasn't her boss, then she wouldn't have been afraid to say no.

heed 13y ago

You're right he is victim blaming. Except, he says both parties were victims in their own way.

arrrg 13y ago
At this point I have a hard time seeing how her boss can be considered a victim here. (It’s sad that I have to add this, but this is obviously assuming her account is truthful.) If you do the stuff described in the blog post you might be sorry, it might have been a mistake you made while you were drunk and you might have had no intentions of committing sexual assault or being in any way malicious but you still committed sexual assault. Having good intentions (which the parent comment was also only speculating about) doesn’t change that, really. Maybe he is a victim of his brain making stupid decisions? I don’t know. That’s how I sometimes feel when I make mistakes. He is only a victim if she is falsely accusing him. Are you making that case?

JackdawX 13y ago

Good call. In what situation is it going to be acceptable to put your hands down someones pants in public? It's difficult to imagine any situation in which this isn't crossing a line. I don't see how that behaviour can be condoned.