When someone is raped, we say we understand that her life is shattered, that she will never recover. It's part of a general acceptance that certain events mean

When someone is raped, we say we understand that her life is shattered, that she will never recover. It's part of a general acceptance that certain events mean someone's life is 'over' (death of a child, significant other) and that they may never recover. This acceptance implies expectation. Stronger women are questioned, seemingly admiringly, but actually judgingly: 'How can you just continue living after this?' with a hidden 'you are supposed to have broken!'. Psychological research does suggest that self-talk and future expectation has an enormous influence on experienced outcomes. In other words, it is extremely unhelpful for a person who experienced an adverse event to anticipate trauma and my life will never be the same and suffering. Trauma may happen. It may not. Time will tell.