6 ms·

Confessions of a Drug Dealer's Delivery Service Guy

99 points by mikecarroll 13y ago

doktrin 13y ago
> At times, I was tempted to hand them back their measly $60 and snatch the pipe from their hands and say, “You don't have to live this way.” That's a lot of condescension coming from the guy who thought he would look like a "suave gangster" while performing door to door pot deliveries.
- ugexe 13y ago
  Not to mention he mocks them for not making huge live changing moves during the small time frame that he actually knew them, and that he actually thinks these clients weren't just casually lying to some kid who brings them their weed.
  - n3rdy 13y ago
    Not to mention he himself took the job out of desperation. He admits he couldn't make a better life choice for himself but acts like he's superior to the people conducting business with him. He also suggests they were spending $60/day on weed.. wouldn't that be at least $1200/month? He had few enough clients that he never saw the same first name twice, so his clients were probably earning more than he did. As easy as it is for him to judge the pill clients, he could have made an effort to think of reasons why his wealthy clients were hooked. People get addicted to opiates all the time, and its not always drug dealer delivery guys who introduce them to narcotics.. sometimes its a doctor.
    - codyb 13y ago
      I think you mathed wrong. 60*30=$1800. More than rent for a 2Br in lots of Brooklyn!
- zipfle 13y ago
  And nearly in the same breath he starts pouting that they never 'splurged' on the large bags. Interesting story though.
- scotty79 13y ago
  > who thought he would look like a "suave gangster" I think it was intended as adorable, humorous self-derogation on authors part.
- ChuckMcM 13y ago
  I suspect that captures the entire article, one would like to walk up to the author and snatch away their laptop bag and say "You don't have to live this way." And perhaps, at some level that was the point. The lack of self awareness is endemic to all the participants.
yoster 13y ago
A drug kingpin does not deal with small deliveries. They sell bulk and only bulk to drug distributors.
MichaelGG 13y ago
>Like most addicts in denial, potheads live under the bogus assumption that every bong hit will be their last. Uh, what? While there may be some people that have hit problems and want to change because their life is being negatively impacted, most "addicts" are quite fine where they are. I personally don't like pot, but I've never known any pothead to keep saying "this will be my last hit" - quite the opposite. Like Snoop says "Smoke weed everyday". Edit: Also, he disses his pill clients ("depravity"), while simultaneously noting that they're the wealthier ones, pouring him "expensive scotch". Seems like he had some odd delusions of being cool, and wanted to show how hard being a delivery boy is ("read three books a week"), while also showing his superiority to "addicts".
- indlebe 13y ago
  I seriously question the authenticity of this piece, especially the last bit about the pill clients being the more "wealthy ones". Either that or this guy worked the most atypical drug dealing job I've heard of. In a more common situation, clients that are of a more permanant wealth would demand higher quality pot, hashish and perhaps opium. "New Money" may dabble in cocaine but if they're not uber rich or don't keep it in check that money won't last long.
  - MichaelGG 13y ago
    Plenty of high-level professionals use opiates (pills like Oxycontin). Look around for some rather tiny pupils on people doing high-stress, high-paying jobs. Opium tends to make you lay around and usually need to vomit, so I'm not sure why that'd be preferable to [semi]synthetic opiates.
    - indlebe 13y ago
      >Plenty of high-level professionals use opiates (pills like Oxycontin) Perhaps, but I still question the likeliness that the mainstream pot dealer would move to selling pills still distributing from the same source. Pot, cocaine, mdmda, etc are available in bulk from illicit sources. Prescription pills usually come from a legal source at some point and come in smaller quantities. From what I hear opium is more expensive because of the difficulty to transport it in its raw form, and therefore sought after. Wealthier clients usually have a doctor that will write them the prescriptions for a fee. It's not unfathomable that his dealer also had a line on prescription pills, and he did note that he went dry from time to time but still...
cmsmith 13y ago
I can't help but feel that what the author calls a 'drug dealer's delivery guy' is what I would just call a 'drug dealer'.
- peterwwillis 13y ago
  There's different kinds of 'drug dealers'. I've known many 'part-timers' who would buy in bulk and just sell to their friends to make extra cash. Then there's the cops that give drugs away at almost-nothing prices to their friends after they've confiscated them from the dealer who pissed off the club owners he was working with and gave him up. No two dealers are the same...
- ghshephard 13y ago
  The differentiation here would be that this guy doesn't have inventory risk (or benefit, for that matter). This guy doesn't own the customer relationship, or the supplier relationship. It's the difference between owning a pizza restaurant and being the pizza delivery person.
- philwelch 13y ago
  For what it's worth, the law agrees with you.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
lilbearsbrother 13y ago
LOL this guy is the biggest tool of all time
- nomedeplume 13y ago
  He probably aspires to date the equivalent of Hannah from Girls.
concerto 13y ago
The sales incentives make no sense. He made 1/3rd commission on the smallest bags, 1/5th on the medium and 1/6 on the largest bags. It is better for him to sell lots of small bags than 1 big one. In addition, assuming most customers buy the small bag, then upselling to a medium bag would bring no extra financial reward. Putting aside the idea that buying the biggest bag might lead to faster consumption, and assuming that the customers were tied in to the supplier, he would have been better off downselling as the customers would still buy the same amount, just in more transactions, leading to higher returns for him (especially as his transport costs were paid).
- gwern 13y ago
  It makes sense to me. Each sale of a bag takes time. It's no good getting a higher percentage of a small bag if he has to run around for an hour to sell 1 small bag and could've sold 1 large bag in that hour instead.
  - concerto 13y ago
    If the majority of users take the small bag, which seems logical, then I can't imagine you would be able to upsell them easily to a product that was 5x the price (indeed the author acknowledges that), the upsell opportunity there would be to a medium bag, but as there is no difference to him financially in the sale of a small or medium bag, what is his incentive?
    - gwern 13y ago
      ...If there is no difference to him between a small and medium, doesn't that instantly explain why he's trying to upsell them to a big bag even though it's so difficult?
eruditely 13y ago
This piece is laughable if you've ever used drugs, sold drugs, or know your way around anywhere. Oh man the article writers delusion.
- Andrenid 13y ago
  Looks to me more like someone sold a few bags of weed to friends and got lost in his delusions of being a runner, and made the rest up to try impress people.

99 points by mikecarroll 13y ago

> At times, I was tempted to hand them back their measly $60 and snatch the pipe from their hands and say, “You don't have to live this way.” That's a lot of condescension coming from the guy who thought he would look like a "suave gangster" while performing door to door pot deliveries.

ugexe 13y ago
Not to mention he mocks them for not making huge live changing moves during the small time frame that he actually knew them, and that he actually thinks these clients weren't just casually lying to some kid who brings them their weed.
- n3rdy 13y ago
  Not to mention he himself took the job out of desperation. He admits he couldn't make a better life choice for himself but acts like he's superior to the people conducting business with him. He also suggests they were spending $60/day on weed.. wouldn't that be at least $1200/month? He had few enough clients that he never saw the same first name twice, so his clients were probably earning more than he did. As easy as it is for him to judge the pill clients, he could have made an effort to think of reasons why his wealthy clients were hooked. People get addicted to opiates all the time, and its not always drug dealer delivery guys who introduce them to narcotics.. sometimes its a doctor.
  - codyb 13y ago
    I think you mathed wrong. 60*30=$1800. More than rent for a 2Br in lots of Brooklyn!
zipfle 13y ago
And nearly in the same breath he starts pouting that they never 'splurged' on the large bags. Interesting story though.
scotty79 13y ago
> who thought he would look like a "suave gangster" I think it was intended as adorable, humorous self-derogation on authors part.
ChuckMcM 13y ago
I suspect that captures the entire article, one would like to walk up to the author and snatch away their laptop bag and say "You don't have to live this way." And perhaps, at some level that was the point. The lack of self awareness is endemic to all the participants.

yoster 13y ago

A drug kingpin does not deal with small deliveries. They sell bulk and only bulk to drug distributors.

MichaelGG 13y ago

>Like most addicts in denial, potheads live under the bogus assumption that every bong hit will be their last. Uh, what? While there may be some people that have hit problems and want to change because their life is being negatively impacted, most "addicts" are quite fine where they are. I personally don't like pot, but I've never known any pothead to keep saying "this will be my last hit" - quite the opposite. Like Snoop says "Smoke weed everyday". Edit: Also, he disses his pill clients ("depravity"), while simultaneously noting that they're the wealthier ones, pouring him "expensive scotch". Seems like he had some odd delusions of being cool, and wanted to show how hard being a delivery boy is ("read three books a week"), while also showing his superiority to "addicts".

indlebe 13y ago
I seriously question the authenticity of this piece, especially the last bit about the pill clients being the more "wealthy ones". Either that or this guy worked the most atypical drug dealing job I've heard of. In a more common situation, clients that are of a more permanant wealth would demand higher quality pot, hashish and perhaps opium. "New Money" may dabble in cocaine but if they're not uber rich or don't keep it in check that money won't last long.
- MichaelGG 13y ago
  Plenty of high-level professionals use opiates (pills like Oxycontin). Look around for some rather tiny pupils on people doing high-stress, high-paying jobs. Opium tends to make you lay around and usually need to vomit, so I'm not sure why that'd be preferable to [semi]synthetic opiates.
  - indlebe 13y ago
    >Plenty of high-level professionals use opiates (pills like Oxycontin) Perhaps, but I still question the likeliness that the mainstream pot dealer would move to selling pills still distributing from the same source. Pot, cocaine, mdmda, etc are available in bulk from illicit sources. Prescription pills usually come from a legal source at some point and come in smaller quantities. From what I hear opium is more expensive because of the difficulty to transport it in its raw form, and therefore sought after. Wealthier clients usually have a doctor that will write them the prescriptions for a fee. It's not unfathomable that his dealer also had a line on prescription pills, and he did note that he went dry from time to time but still...

cmsmith 13y ago

I can't help but feel that what the author calls a 'drug dealer's delivery guy' is what I would just call a 'drug dealer'.

peterwwillis 13y ago
There's different kinds of 'drug dealers'. I've known many 'part-timers' who would buy in bulk and just sell to their friends to make extra cash. Then there's the cops that give drugs away at almost-nothing prices to their friends after they've confiscated them from the dealer who pissed off the club owners he was working with and gave him up. No two dealers are the same...
ghshephard 13y ago
The differentiation here would be that this guy doesn't have inventory risk (or benefit, for that matter). This guy doesn't own the customer relationship, or the supplier relationship. It's the difference between owning a pizza restaurant and being the pizza delivery person.
philwelch 13y ago
For what it's worth, the law agrees with you.

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

lilbearsbrother 13y ago

LOL this guy is the biggest tool of all time

nomedeplume 13y ago
He probably aspires to date the equivalent of Hannah from Girls.

concerto 13y ago

The sales incentives make no sense. He made 1/3rd commission on the smallest bags, 1/5th on the medium and 1/6 on the largest bags. It is better for him to sell lots of small bags than 1 big one. In addition, assuming most customers buy the small bag, then upselling to a medium bag would bring no extra financial reward. Putting aside the idea that buying the biggest bag might lead to faster consumption, and assuming that the customers were tied in to the supplier, he would have been better off downselling as the customers would still buy the same amount, just in more transactions, leading to higher returns for him (especially as his transport costs were paid).

gwern 13y ago
It makes sense to me. Each sale of a bag takes time. It's no good getting a higher percentage of a small bag if he has to run around for an hour to sell 1 small bag and could've sold 1 large bag in that hour instead.
- concerto 13y ago
  If the majority of users take the small bag, which seems logical, then I can't imagine you would be able to upsell them easily to a product that was 5x the price (indeed the author acknowledges that), the upsell opportunity there would be to a medium bag, but as there is no difference to him financially in the sale of a small or medium bag, what is his incentive?
  - gwern 13y ago
    ...If there is no difference to him between a small and medium, doesn't that instantly explain why he's trying to upsell them to a big bag even though it's so difficult?

eruditely 13y ago

This piece is laughable if you've ever used drugs, sold drugs, or know your way around anywhere. Oh man the article writers delusion.

Andrenid 13y ago
Looks to me more like someone sold a few bags of weed to friends and got lost in his delusions of being a runner, and made the rest up to try impress people.