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I've been grieving two years now. She was "brutally murdered" by a Greek student, in Hamburg, Germany. I had nightmares for 3 months. Insomnia and loss of love

I've been grieving two years now. She was "brutally murdered" by a Greek student, in Hamburg, Germany. I had nightmares for 3 months. Insomnia and loss of love for code ensued, as I created barriers with the world. All my community could say is "it happens to anyone." And I take things too literally, perchance. I doubt I could live through this again, in a world where we are killing everyone from autistics to Jewish peoples to student tourists with cameras. But what is more I am now hyperaware. I long for sincere eyes. Some see it, others simply attack. Others notice this of me as well, and they must discover the mystery...with all sorts of tests. Yes, so I have sensitive hearing and I rock when hungry. Does that make me a predator? I want the staring to stop. But the basic fear: it could happen to anyone. Now I am reminded quite frequently here in Austin that random and bad people are simply picked up off of the street and killed, randomly, when all I have is a broken heart. Until they run me off with that one last death or racist joke that makes upper society's configurable moral compass quite unappealing, and its fascination with tastelessness and unchecked chauvenism as the lingua franca of capability. People are often too ugly inside to warrant participation in this "fear market."

lake99 13y ago
I couldn't help but notice an apparent contradiction. You complain about racism and chauvinism, and yet, you identify the murderer as a "Greek student" instead of as a "deranged student".
- darkmirage 13y ago
  This is ridiculous. If he had said that the murderer was a male student, would you be complaining about sexism? Identifying someone's race is not racism. He didn't imply anything about Greeks in general.
  - thenerdfiles 13y ago
    Right, I'm only using descriptions garnered from articles on the homicide, which are written in internationalese. "Deranged" is baseless opinion. "Deranged or whatever" is arguing for argument's sake. "Anything but racialism" is post-colonial guilt. I have no reason to engage in any of these practices on the matter.
  - lake99 13y ago
    > He didn't imply anything about Greeks in general. I suspected an implication. Please read the comments he made later on.
    - thenerdfiles 13y ago
      "Greece's economy" is a non-racism. Am I thereby attributing a cause simply by mentioning its state of affairs? You are forcing a racist interpretation where there isn't one. You are not giving benefit of the doubt. No one is saying "boy those greeks sure screwed themselves." And even if one were, that's an assessment of their political and economic dealings, though we all know Greece is embedded in a complex arrangement with the EU and the US's pig-headed foreign policies. "X's ecomomy is crumbling" can be said without racism. And "madness" can be similarly used I hold this true of any peoples subject to the human condition with an economy so described. Look at Morocco, etc. Sometimes environment is the cause, and when the environment is arbitrarily caused. Again, as the commenter noted, nothing was said about Greeks [in general]. Economy of country and that as an alternative explanation to an individual of that country, yes. The articles on the story state that he is Greek so I figured I should as well. In fact by saying "look at the economy" I am even further emphasizing the arbitrariness of a cultural explanation, which psychologizing does not do but rather lends to something about Greekness or Greek social thought. I'm saying "yes, he happens to be Greek, and he is from a failing economy that may have caused his distress." And so, "How did this happen to the economy in question that might cause people subject to it to respond in all of these ways?" Again, I don't know about the verdict on the man. I withhold opinion. I don't think he'll be able to enjoy life given a majority of the options allotted him. He's deprived of life either way, and this too is saddening. So there's nothing to say about his "manipulating the system in his favor." He is in a bad spot regardless, but I think saying that he is deranged is an intuitive response, rather than a critical one. How did he become deranged? He clearly was at some point not deranged. I'm saying the state of Greece's economy, embedded in a global economy, is where we should look.
      - lake99 13y ago
        > The articles on the story state that he is Greek so I figured I should as well. I believe you. > I'm saying the state of Greece's economy, embedded in a global economy, is where we should look. This is where I think you're jumping the gun. There are insane people everywhere. Sometimes some of them do brutal things. That's a sad fact of life. Implicating his Greek-ness will, I believe, lead to unnecessary bitterness against Greeks. I'm sure you've come across Grice's Maxim of Relevance. Going by that, I tend to include "Greek" if his being Greek led to some racially motivated action, I'd include "male" if his being male led to some sexually motivated action, etc.
- thenerdfiles 13y ago
  Please learn the difference between racialism and racism. Greece's economy has been crumbling, and many all over the world are succumbing to madness. This feels like another test, but how am I to know if someone is deranged? Don't force me to accept some verdict by law. I don't deserve that...
  - lake99 13y ago
    I have become sensitized to race after coming across numerous narratives by friends and strangers, where they mention race or nationality though that has nothing to do with what they are saying. > Greece's economy has been crumbling... Your point? Did you mean that Greeks are succumbing to madness? > how am I to know if someone is deranged? I am not a psychologist, so I can't pass diagnoses either. But some words of lay language express anger or contempt. > Don't force me to accept some verdict by law. I have no idea what you meant by that. I did not imply any force.
    - thenerdfiles 13y ago
      Why are you doing that? The sentence is "Greece's economy has been crumbling, and many all over the world are succumbing to madness." Why would I respond to something you're explicitly divorcing from context? If you preserve what I say, you see that I clearly have an assessment nearing to the judgment that [many] in Greece are succumbing to madness. Do I have a scientific basis for using words like "madness"? Well, would "deranged" be any better? How about this?: Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must passover in silence. "But some words of lay language express anger or contempt." wat ? "I have no idea what you meant by that. I did not imply any force." It is coincidence, then, that you suggest "deranged" which is in line in actual fact with his sentence: He was assigned to a mental institution. I can acknowledge that it happens, but I need not say it was the right thing to do. I can withhold opinion on the matter. "Deranged" suggests that he should be treated in a certain way — I have no opinion on how he ought to be treated, I just do not know, barring any generalization to similar cases. But again: I say [Many] are succumbing, which translates to a statement like [Some] are succumbing, not [All] are succumbing, which is what [Greeks] are succumbing is most often interpreted as[1]. --- [1]: Please see: Predicate Logic.
- amerika_blog 13y ago
  Does "Greek" mean "lives in Greece" or "ethnically Greek"?
  - taeric 13y ago
    Would it matter?
  - thenerdfiles 13y ago
    If an American student commits a crime in Turkey, we wouldn't call this student a "Turkish student." Some universities in Turkey may not be wholly funded by the Turkish government, nor culturally and financially indebted to a Turkish family.
    - amerika_blog 13y ago
      I think the question would more be of an American who moves to Turkey, then ten years later goes to Russia and commits the crime there. Is this person a Turk or an American? They don't live in the USA; it doesn't make sense to call them an American.
thenerdfiles 13y ago
The overall point here is that Depression has gestalt cause, and sometimes a society, upon depriving us of a raison d'être à vie (work, family, etc.) while emphasizing or even prescribing a monothematic lifestyle, that society limits the capabilities of our imaginations to perceive opportunities, of which opportunity discovery is itself a creative endeavor afforded by those justifications to life (work, family, etc.) being normalized.

lake99 13y ago

I couldn't help but notice an apparent contradiction. You complain about racism and chauvinism, and yet, you identify the murderer as a "Greek student" instead of as a "deranged student".

darkmirage 13y ago
This is ridiculous. If he had said that the murderer was a male student, would you be complaining about sexism? Identifying someone's race is not racism. He didn't imply anything about Greeks in general.
- thenerdfiles 13y ago
  Right, I'm only using descriptions garnered from articles on the homicide, which are written in internationalese. "Deranged" is baseless opinion. "Deranged or whatever" is arguing for argument's sake. "Anything but racialism" is post-colonial guilt. I have no reason to engage in any of these practices on the matter.
- lake99 13y ago
  > He didn't imply anything about Greeks in general. I suspected an implication. Please read the comments he made later on.
  - thenerdfiles 13y ago
    "Greece's economy" is a non-racism. Am I thereby attributing a cause simply by mentioning its state of affairs? You are forcing a racist interpretation where there isn't one. You are not giving benefit of the doubt. No one is saying "boy those greeks sure screwed themselves." And even if one were, that's an assessment of their political and economic dealings, though we all know Greece is embedded in a complex arrangement with the EU and the US's pig-headed foreign policies. "X's ecomomy is crumbling" can be said without racism. And "madness" can be similarly used I hold this true of any peoples subject to the human condition with an economy so described. Look at Morocco, etc. Sometimes environment is the cause, and when the environment is arbitrarily caused. Again, as the commenter noted, nothing was said about Greeks [in general]. Economy of country and that as an alternative explanation to an individual of that country, yes. The articles on the story state that he is Greek so I figured I should as well. In fact by saying "look at the economy" I am even further emphasizing the arbitrariness of a cultural explanation, which psychologizing does not do but rather lends to something about Greekness or Greek social thought. I'm saying "yes, he happens to be Greek, and he is from a failing economy that may have caused his distress." And so, "How did this happen to the economy in question that might cause people subject to it to respond in all of these ways?" Again, I don't know about the verdict on the man. I withhold opinion. I don't think he'll be able to enjoy life given a majority of the options allotted him. He's deprived of life either way, and this too is saddening. So there's nothing to say about his "manipulating the system in his favor." He is in a bad spot regardless, but I think saying that he is deranged is an intuitive response, rather than a critical one. How did he become deranged? He clearly was at some point not deranged. I'm saying the state of Greece's economy, embedded in a global economy, is where we should look.
    - lake99 13y ago
      > The articles on the story state that he is Greek so I figured I should as well. I believe you. > I'm saying the state of Greece's economy, embedded in a global economy, is where we should look. This is where I think you're jumping the gun. There are insane people everywhere. Sometimes some of them do brutal things. That's a sad fact of life. Implicating his Greek-ness will, I believe, lead to unnecessary bitterness against Greeks. I'm sure you've come across Grice's Maxim of Relevance. Going by that, I tend to include "Greek" if his being Greek led to some racially motivated action, I'd include "male" if his being male led to some sexually motivated action, etc.
thenerdfiles 13y ago
Please learn the difference between racialism and racism. Greece's economy has been crumbling, and many all over the world are succumbing to madness. This feels like another test, but how am I to know if someone is deranged? Don't force me to accept some verdict by law. I don't deserve that...
- lake99 13y ago
  I have become sensitized to race after coming across numerous narratives by friends and strangers, where they mention race or nationality though that has nothing to do with what they are saying. > Greece's economy has been crumbling... Your point? Did you mean that Greeks are succumbing to madness? > how am I to know if someone is deranged? I am not a psychologist, so I can't pass diagnoses either. But some words of lay language express anger or contempt. > Don't force me to accept some verdict by law. I have no idea what you meant by that. I did not imply any force.
  - thenerdfiles 13y ago
    Why are you doing that? The sentence is "Greece's economy has been crumbling, and many all over the world are succumbing to madness." Why would I respond to something you're explicitly divorcing from context? If you preserve what I say, you see that I clearly have an assessment nearing to the judgment that [many] in Greece are succumbing to madness. Do I have a scientific basis for using words like "madness"? Well, would "deranged" be any better? How about this?: Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must passover in silence. "But some words of lay language express anger or contempt." wat ? "I have no idea what you meant by that. I did not imply any force." It is coincidence, then, that you suggest "deranged" which is in line in actual fact with his sentence: He was assigned to a mental institution. I can acknowledge that it happens, but I need not say it was the right thing to do. I can withhold opinion on the matter. "Deranged" suggests that he should be treated in a certain way — I have no opinion on how he ought to be treated, I just do not know, barring any generalization to similar cases. But again: I say [Many] are succumbing, which translates to a statement like [Some] are succumbing, not [All] are succumbing, which is what [Greeks] are succumbing is most often interpreted as[1]. --- [1]: Please see: Predicate Logic.
amerika_blog 13y ago
Does "Greek" mean "lives in Greece" or "ethnically Greek"?
- taeric 13y ago
  Would it matter?
- thenerdfiles 13y ago
  If an American student commits a crime in Turkey, we wouldn't call this student a "Turkish student." Some universities in Turkey may not be wholly funded by the Turkish government, nor culturally and financially indebted to a Turkish family.
  - amerika_blog 13y ago
    I think the question would more be of an American who moves to Turkey, then ten years later goes to Russia and commits the crime there. Is this person a Turk or an American? They don't live in the USA; it doesn't make sense to call them an American.

thenerdfiles 13y ago

The overall point here is that Depression has gestalt cause, and sometimes a society, upon depriving us of a raison d'être à vie (work, family, etc.) while emphasizing or even prescribing a monothematic lifestyle, that society limits the capabilities of our imaginations to perceive opportunities, of which opportunity discovery is itself a creative endeavor afforded by those justifications to life (work, family, etc.) being normalized.