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Ever think that they do this so they don't have to talk to you? While on bus or waiting, I've used the book/phone/etc as an excuse to ignore someone that I KNEW

by tekalon 13y ago

Ever think that they do this so they don't have to talk to you? While on bus or waiting, I've used the book/phone/etc as an excuse to ignore someone that I KNEW was waiting for conversation with ANYONE. My mindset- "I don't know you, I don't care what your selling, I don't care if you think I'm pretty- your not getting a date, I'm not here to entertain you"

codyb 13y ago
I got at least a few dates and made a few friends on the bus for sure. I never bothered people who were obviously doing something. By the end it was impossible to find people who were just riding the bus was the point of the post as opposed to doing something. Is that the world we should strive to live in where no one can make connections randomly and without prior introduction? If you're not busy, and I'm not busy, what's the big deal with talking to someone? And not only that but is everyones 9,000th run of temple run worth a society of people who have no ability to communicate outside of pre setup social scenarios?
- tekalon 13y ago
  Why would you want to talk to a stranger in the first place? How do you know they want to talk to you? This is my major issue with such comments.
  - codyb 13y ago
    Why wouldn't you? They're people. They generally have decades of experiences you've never had. They're extremely faceted and interesting. If someone doesn't want to talk to you you accept that and move on but most people are extremely interesting and can teach you something. How can you ignore some of the most valuable sources of interesting information in the world? Maybe they don't want to talk to me. I accept that and move on. It's called taking an extremely small risk for the chance that you can gain a friend or even just have an interesting conversation you'd never have had. Everyone's worth listening to. The really funny part about your question to me is that you're talking to a stranger over the internet but you're having trouble understanding why you'd want to talk to a person in real life.
    - tekalon 13y ago
      How do you know they have interesting information for you? While you take the loss of them not wanting to talk, do you think the rudeness/inconsideration of talking to them uninvited? Yeah asking for directions is one thing but interrupting their life for a stranger? Note: from the point of view of someone that has social anxiety and avoids social activities, phone calls and verbal interaction as much as possible.
      - codyb 13y ago
        I wasn't interrupting their lives. If someone was alone on the bus not doing anything, or alone in the Tim Horton's line not doing anything, I'd say "hello". If they responded we'd start talking. If they were clearly not interested in talking to me then we wouldn't talk. Most people truly enjoy talking to people. Most people have anxiety about meeting new people and remembering names and talking to people on the phone. But once they've gotten past the "hello" most people absolutely love to talk. I generally ask questions more than talk myself because I already know how I think and would like to hear other's perspectives. And how could someone who has lived for decades not have something interesting to say? It's not only about interesting information though, it's about developing social skills and the ability to interact with others in situations that aren't pre set up. It's about meeting new people. It's about understanding that every person is interesting. It's about realizing no one in the damn Tim Horton's line is doing anything better than making a new friend or having a conversation with someone they've never met whose views might open up a new way of thinking for them. It's about meeting people from other cultures and countries with different customs and life styles. It's about meeting the girl that could be the love of your life one day. In the end it's about living and interacting with the single most interesting thing around you at any given point. Other people. Far more multi-dimensional than any piece of artwork or app on a phone could ever be are the people around you. You seem to think I was a huge bother to these people but one girl's first kiss ever was me because I said "hello" to her in the Tim Horton's line. She truly enjoyed the experience and while we didn't go much further than that that's a memory neither of us will ever forget. Would it have been better for me to be doing a fantasy draft with the espn app on my phone? Not a chance. Were there times people didn't want to talk to me? Totally. But the majority of people are very friendly and open to talking to people if you say "hello". You can't be a creep with some pick up line. You have to genuinely be interested in learning more about the person. Then you tend to learn a lot and make new connections. And again it wasn't something I did every bus ride. But it's nice to have the option every now and again to get a little jittery and say "hello" to someone you don't know. No one has no social anxiety, or at least I don't have zero social anxiety. Hey as long as you're happy tekalon keep doing what you're doing. But if you're a little lonely, try saying hello to someone on the bus one day ;-). And always remember, every single person in your life right now was a stranger at one point.

by tekalon 13y ago

codyb 13y ago

I got at least a few dates and made a few friends on the bus for sure. I never bothered people who were obviously doing something. By the end it was impossible to find people who were just riding the bus was the point of the post as opposed to doing something. Is that the world we should strive to live in where no one can make connections randomly and without prior introduction? If you're not busy, and I'm not busy, what's the big deal with talking to someone? And not only that but is everyones 9,000th run of temple run worth a society of people who have no ability to communicate outside of pre setup social scenarios?

tekalon 13y ago
Why would you want to talk to a stranger in the first place? How do you know they want to talk to you? This is my major issue with such comments.
- codyb 13y ago
  Why wouldn't you? They're people. They generally have decades of experiences you've never had. They're extremely faceted and interesting. If someone doesn't want to talk to you you accept that and move on but most people are extremely interesting and can teach you something. How can you ignore some of the most valuable sources of interesting information in the world? Maybe they don't want to talk to me. I accept that and move on. It's called taking an extremely small risk for the chance that you can gain a friend or even just have an interesting conversation you'd never have had. Everyone's worth listening to. The really funny part about your question to me is that you're talking to a stranger over the internet but you're having trouble understanding why you'd want to talk to a person in real life.
  - tekalon 13y ago
    How do you know they have interesting information for you? While you take the loss of them not wanting to talk, do you think the rudeness/inconsideration of talking to them uninvited? Yeah asking for directions is one thing but interrupting their life for a stranger? Note: from the point of view of someone that has social anxiety and avoids social activities, phone calls and verbal interaction as much as possible.
    - codyb 13y ago
      I wasn't interrupting their lives. If someone was alone on the bus not doing anything, or alone in the Tim Horton's line not doing anything, I'd say "hello". If they responded we'd start talking. If they were clearly not interested in talking to me then we wouldn't talk. Most people truly enjoy talking to people. Most people have anxiety about meeting new people and remembering names and talking to people on the phone. But once they've gotten past the "hello" most people absolutely love to talk. I generally ask questions more than talk myself because I already know how I think and would like to hear other's perspectives. And how could someone who has lived for decades not have something interesting to say? It's not only about interesting information though, it's about developing social skills and the ability to interact with others in situations that aren't pre set up. It's about meeting new people. It's about understanding that every person is interesting. It's about realizing no one in the damn Tim Horton's line is doing anything better than making a new friend or having a conversation with someone they've never met whose views might open up a new way of thinking for them. It's about meeting people from other cultures and countries with different customs and life styles. It's about meeting the girl that could be the love of your life one day. In the end it's about living and interacting with the single most interesting thing around you at any given point. Other people. Far more multi-dimensional than any piece of artwork or app on a phone could ever be are the people around you. You seem to think I was a huge bother to these people but one girl's first kiss ever was me because I said "hello" to her in the Tim Horton's line. She truly enjoyed the experience and while we didn't go much further than that that's a memory neither of us will ever forget. Would it have been better for me to be doing a fantasy draft with the espn app on my phone? Not a chance. Were there times people didn't want to talk to me? Totally. But the majority of people are very friendly and open to talking to people if you say "hello". You can't be a creep with some pick up line. You have to genuinely be interested in learning more about the person. Then you tend to learn a lot and make new connections. And again it wasn't something I did every bus ride. But it's nice to have the option every now and again to get a little jittery and say "hello" to someone you don't know. No one has no social anxiety, or at least I don't have zero social anxiety. Hey as long as you're happy tekalon keep doing what you're doing. But if you're a little lonely, try saying hello to someone on the bus one day ;-). And always remember, every single person in your life right now was a stranger at one point.