4 ms·

I may be wrong but I'm guessing he's not a parent. For most parents a choice between yourself and your children is no choice. He's accepted a level of financia

I may be wrong but I'm guessing he's not a parent. For most parents a choice between yourself and your children is no choice. He's accepted a level of financial hardship to be, or at least feel like, a good parent. I see no issue with that.

Shivetya 13y ago
The open question is, will the children reciprocate?
- tls 13y ago
  Parenting is not about quid pro quo, improving his childrens livelihood is his investment.
  - NovemberWest 13y ago
    It isn't quid pro quo but it shouldn't be martyrdom either. I think cutting your own throat for your kids teaches them something bad, not something healthy. (Yes, I am a parent, a very devoted one in fact.)
    - ArtB 13y ago
      I think of it as paying forward what your parents gave to you. I help my parents, but I fund my child and expect him to do the same.
      - NovemberWest 13y ago
        Paying it forward and cutting your own throat are not remotely the same thing.
        tls 13y ago
        I wasn't speaking to that, it is of your interest as a parent to 'invest' into your child, be it time, knowledge etc... (honestly I never come here to read the articles, I touch the headline and gauge the article by its comments, so I 'maybe' offbase when declaring what I think.) Regardless, you know as well as me - once you walk down that path no one knows it better then yourself.
        NovemberWest 13y ago
        Given the context of the discussion here, your remark sounds like you are defending the choice this guy made to shoot himself in the foot financially. That was what I was reacting to. I don't think it is ever a good thing to shoot yourself in the foot. You can invest in your children without undermining your own welfare. It does not sound like that is what this man did. He gave a lot of money to his kids and apparently now is (or feels) impoverished. Context matters. By itself, I would agree with your sentiment. But in the context here, it sounds like you are saying "You should cut your own throat to 'invest' in your kids!" There are a lot of people who really believe things like that. I think it is very unhealthy for them as individuals and for the larger fabric of society.
  - sneak 13y ago
    That's not what "investment" means.
cperciva 13y ago
I may be wrong but I'm guessing he's not a parent. You're right; but I am a child, and there's no way I would let my parents help me buy a house if it meant that they couldn't retire comfortably.
- Tyrannosaurs 13y ago
  I'm guessing that it was likely that he wouldn't have spelled out in detail his exact financial situation to them. If you were his child all you'd probably have seen was that he sold his house and offered to help you get on the property ladder with some of the money he released. If that happens and you believe that he's got other savings then that's a very different situation to be presented with than the idea that you're messing up his retirement. But even if that weren't the case it would surely be a failing on their part rather than on his?

Shivetya 13y ago

The open question is, will the children reciprocate?

tls 13y ago
Parenting is not about quid pro quo, improving his childrens livelihood is his investment.
- NovemberWest 13y ago
  It isn't quid pro quo but it shouldn't be martyrdom either. I think cutting your own throat for your kids teaches them something bad, not something healthy. (Yes, I am a parent, a very devoted one in fact.)
  - ArtB 13y ago
    I think of it as paying forward what your parents gave to you. I help my parents, but I fund my child and expect him to do the same.
    - NovemberWest 13y ago
      Paying it forward and cutting your own throat are not remotely the same thing.
      - tls 13y ago
        I wasn't speaking to that, it is of your interest as a parent to 'invest' into your child, be it time, knowledge etc... (honestly I never come here to read the articles, I touch the headline and gauge the article by its comments, so I 'maybe' offbase when declaring what I think.) Regardless, you know as well as me - once you walk down that path no one knows it better then yourself.
        NovemberWest 13y ago
        Given the context of the discussion here, your remark sounds like you are defending the choice this guy made to shoot himself in the foot financially. That was what I was reacting to. I don't think it is ever a good thing to shoot yourself in the foot. You can invest in your children without undermining your own welfare. It does not sound like that is what this man did. He gave a lot of money to his kids and apparently now is (or feels) impoverished. Context matters. By itself, I would agree with your sentiment. But in the context here, it sounds like you are saying "You should cut your own throat to 'invest' in your kids!" There are a lot of people who really believe things like that. I think it is very unhealthy for them as individuals and for the larger fabric of society.
- sneak 13y ago
  That's not what "investment" means.

cperciva 13y ago

I may be wrong but I'm guessing he's not a parent. You're right; but I am a child, and there's no way I would let my parents help me buy a house if it meant that they couldn't retire comfortably.

Tyrannosaurs 13y ago
I'm guessing that it was likely that he wouldn't have spelled out in detail his exact financial situation to them. If you were his child all you'd probably have seen was that he sold his house and offered to help you get on the property ladder with some of the money he released. If that happens and you believe that he's got other savings then that's a very different situation to be presented with than the idea that you're messing up his retirement. But even if that weren't the case it would surely be a failing on their part rather than on his?