7 ms·

How to teach your girlfriend programming

17 points by darthdeus 13y ago

bazzargh 13y ago
Reading this I'm reminded of Alisdair Gray's "Poor Things" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poor_Things https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poor_Things ...wherein the narrator believes he has brought a woman to life, Frankenstein-style, and is teaching her about the world, but at the end it turns out that he was a fantasist and Bella is only odd to him because she is a modern independent woman (a suffragette, etc), and he is mired in the past.
xerophtye 13y ago
Hahahah! You're one lucky guy! I have always known teaching someone programming is pretty simple (I managed to teach simple C++ to my 9-yr-old sister and also to my 74-yr-old Granny). But it was easier to teach them because my sister was too young to have the "I'll never understand that" barrier and my granny just loved the attention i was giving her so she put all her effort into learning what i was teaching her. So can I teach it to my girlfriend? Probably not. Partially because she's technologically challenged (she's cute that way) and as a medical student she already has tons on her plate. But I must say I share your dreams of having a girl with whom I could discuss tech stuff the same way i discuss it with my friends
- Felix21 13y ago
  I have taught many "technologically challenged" people how to code. They say cute things like ... okay so how do I "compress" this file ... i used that "tag thingie" but its not working but they still learn it and are able to build websites sometimes even faster then the "technologically exposed". In general technologically challenged doesn't mean stupid. Its just a lack of exposure to the technologies and in time they get the hang of it.
  - darthdeus 13y ago
    Exactly, being "technologically challenged" isn't a bad thing, it just means you spent a lot of time in completely different areas. Technology isn't something special, it's just "yet another thing" that can be learned.
  - xerophtye 13y ago
    I apologize if that came of as rude. By no way do i think of her as Dumb. (heck she's becoming a doctor! She studies like 5 times as hard as me!) I just meant she isn't that tech-savy (she's too cute to use the words "tag" and "compress" :P) But that doesn't mean she CAN'T learn. Heck she's a VERY fast learner when she WANTS to learn something. And i was just stating my own case not a general rule :) I have taughts tons of people programming too on an academic basis and they turned out to be great developers later on
- darthdeus 13y ago
  Nicely done :) You're right, it's mostly about them wanting to learn and having the time and energy to do it.
- NonEUCitizen 13y ago
  Why not discuss medical stuff with your girlfriend? If you don't know enough about medicine to hold a discussion with her, you can ask her to teach you.
  - xerophtye 13y ago
    Oh we do have medical discussions =) i find it very fascinating. In fact whenever she is studying for some big test, i usually help her with that by listening to her explaining everything to me.
deletes 13y ago
If the only thing you can talk about is programming, then it is not the girlfriend who has to learn new things.
- xerophtye 13y ago
  It's not that all he wants to talk about is programming, but he's passionate about it, and isn't it entirely common for people to want mates who share their passions?
jonahx 13y ago
Reminds me of: http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-probably-just-too-intimidat,33916/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-prob...
jacalata 13y ago
This is kind of like the ways I have helped my boyfriend learn programming except for how it is hopelessly mired in the idea that programmers are guys who have cutely technologically impaired girlfriends.
- jtheory 13y ago
  Did you teach your boyfriend how to quicksort your knife collection? Way to go, brothe- uh, friend.
- reginaldjcooper 13y ago
  Where exactly is that idea expressed? EDIT: Fine, if you read into the preface where he talks about his programmer friends I guess they are all male. That's hardly hopelessly mired, it's more like an unfortunate choice of description. I bet the author would assume women programmers feel the exact same way about their partners as well.
  - chlostick 13y ago
    It's heavily implied in the language of the article. Chances are you're right, and if we asked the author of the article, he might say that: yeah, it works both ways, and this is just his experience. The problem is that this is an instructional article, and his language excludes the idea of female programmers completely. It doesn't mean he's a horrible person because of it. It's just that this kind of language is still the norm, and it would be great if we could be recognised as equals, and not for us to be expected to assume it in the face of exclusion. Language is important, because it affects how we perceive one another. So jacalata's comment serves as a polite critisism. Women are people too, and you all know that, but sometimes some folks need to be reminded to reflect that in their language.
    - novalis 13y ago
      So you state that from your POV his language reflected that women are not people too ??? That is really great, that you had to make a throw away account to put that out there, it reflects a lot about you trying to raise issue with something you create a strawman for on the first line of your comment. "If we asked the author..." and than you present an imaginary author giving an 'apology'. That is abysmally poor and you had to protect your regular account because of it. In no way does he ever objectify his girlfriend and you just project to no end. Where does he exclude "the idea of female programmers completely". Maybe in the same way that he excludes the idea of "dead rhinos", because it isn't the point. The point his, he is excited about his girlfriend wanting him to teach her about programming and wrote about it. Go rain on someone elses parade. To your other point, there is nothing polite about insulting others with sexist labels. The 'polite criticism reminds people woman are people too' tirade... ending with the "and you all know that"/"some folks", is just priceless and telling passive aggressive form after preaching against the bad male sexist programmer that should watch his language.
bromagosa 13y ago
A bit too much of a patronizing tone in this article... it even felt quite sexist at some points.
- novalis 13y ago
  Having read the article, I think it would be good for you to quote something out of it that is blatantly sexist. So that your comment doesn't equal a mixed insult to the writer based on a general feeling you had at times.
  - johnplaxton 13y ago
    Why is it "teach your girlfriend"? Why does he presume that his audience has a girlfriend who needs to be taught, rather than a boyfriend? You can't say "well he has a girlfriend so he wrote it like that" because he's not talking about him in the title, he's talking about you - he's presuming you have a girlfriend who needs to be taught, and that's sexist. I don't think it's the crime of the century, but I do think less of the guy.
    - novalis 13y ago
      Mostly because some other person who happens to be a man and is in a relation with a person that happens to be a woman may feel like teaching her some basic programming and a title that ports this situation to a possible reader elicits a stronger connection. That and "How a humam should teach another human partner how to program" would be very daft. I don't see anywhere in there, where it is stated that a girlfriend needs to be taught. Would it be ok if it was "teach your boyfriend" ? Where are you going with this ? You think that title is sexist because he says he has a girfriend that he will be teaching ?
      - johnplaxton 13y ago
        It wouldn't be sexist if he wrote "how I taught my girlfriend to program". Imagine if it said "how to teach your black friend to program". Why only black friends? Why only girlfriends?
acqq 13y ago
Don't even try to teach anybody anything unless he/she actually wants you to do that. Teaching is completely different from giving somebody idea what you're doing. Especially try to be aware how many things you "know" as a "professional" are fully irrelevant details about the technologies or methods that are going to be obsolete in very, very short time. Most of the "knowledge" that make you money today is irrelevant even in just a few years. Or I have a lot of lectures about Clipper 5 and CP/M to teach you.
Wintamute 13y ago
To those saying this post is partly sexist, I think it says more about the prism through which you choose to view the world than anything about the author. This is just a guy and girl that have found themselves in a relationship where one is interested to learn the skills of the other. He's happy and excited to teach her, which is totally understandable. I see no evidence to suggest he feels like he's paternalistically teaching her about the world, rather he's glad he's found a partner he can share his enthusiasm with.
- jtheory 13y ago
  It does say something that he doesn't realize his ideas could also apply to relationships where the tech/non-tech roles are reversed; the possibility just didn't occur to him. Imagine an article about teaching other people how to, I don't know, paint with watercolors, and the author kept assuming his audience was women, teaching their hopefully attractive, fit boyfriends how to do it, even though it might seem like an impossible task.
  - novalis 13y ago
    I see where you are going with that. But he does write from his own perspective and doesn't set out to approach your specific concerns. In his case I hope his girlfriend doesn't teach him about medicine at all so he doesn't get any ideas. Except for the real basic parts, because who knows, that could be useful at some point. But not because he is a man, of course.
  - xerophtye 13y ago
    Hey I am a programmer and dating a med student. And the information flow is usually from her to me. I am intensely inept at Medical Science and so I am always eager to learn from from her. I find it fascinating :) and your case with your bf is pretty cool! (And I am sorry but i AM a programmer with a cute technologically-impaired girlfriend :P cant help it)
- johnplaxton 13y ago
  Then why does he say "teach your girlfriend" rather than teach your partner, or teach your friend, or teach someone? If the fact that it is his girlfriend is just his situation, why suggest that I teach my girlfriend in the title?
itsjustluck 13y ago
If you don't love someone, change them. Great lesson of love here.

17 points by darthdeus 13y ago

Reading this I'm reminded of Alisdair Gray's "Poor Things" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poor_Things https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poor_Things ...wherein the narrator believes he has brought a woman to life, Frankenstein-style, and is teaching her about the world, but at the end it turns out that he was a fantasist and Bella is only odd to him because she is a modern independent woman (a suffragette, etc), and he is mired in the past.

xerophtye 13y ago

Hahahah! You're one lucky guy! I have always known teaching someone programming is pretty simple (I managed to teach simple C++ to my 9-yr-old sister and also to my 74-yr-old Granny). But it was easier to teach them because my sister was too young to have the "I'll never understand that" barrier and my granny just loved the attention i was giving her so she put all her effort into learning what i was teaching her. So can I teach it to my girlfriend? Probably not. Partially because she's technologically challenged (she's cute that way) and as a medical student she already has tons on her plate. But I must say I share your dreams of having a girl with whom I could discuss tech stuff the same way i discuss it with my friends

Felix21 13y ago
I have taught many "technologically challenged" people how to code. They say cute things like ... okay so how do I "compress" this file ... i used that "tag thingie" but its not working but they still learn it and are able to build websites sometimes even faster then the "technologically exposed". In general technologically challenged doesn't mean stupid. Its just a lack of exposure to the technologies and in time they get the hang of it.
- darthdeus 13y ago
  Exactly, being "technologically challenged" isn't a bad thing, it just means you spent a lot of time in completely different areas. Technology isn't something special, it's just "yet another thing" that can be learned.
- xerophtye 13y ago
  I apologize if that came of as rude. By no way do i think of her as Dumb. (heck she's becoming a doctor! She studies like 5 times as hard as me!) I just meant she isn't that tech-savy (she's too cute to use the words "tag" and "compress" :P) But that doesn't mean she CAN'T learn. Heck she's a VERY fast learner when she WANTS to learn something. And i was just stating my own case not a general rule :) I have taughts tons of people programming too on an academic basis and they turned out to be great developers later on
darthdeus 13y ago
Nicely done :) You're right, it's mostly about them wanting to learn and having the time and energy to do it.
NonEUCitizen 13y ago
Why not discuss medical stuff with your girlfriend? If you don't know enough about medicine to hold a discussion with her, you can ask her to teach you.
- xerophtye 13y ago
  Oh we do have medical discussions =) i find it very fascinating. In fact whenever she is studying for some big test, i usually help her with that by listening to her explaining everything to me.

deletes 13y ago

If the only thing you can talk about is programming, then it is not the girlfriend who has to learn new things.

xerophtye 13y ago
It's not that all he wants to talk about is programming, but he's passionate about it, and isn't it entirely common for people to want mates who share their passions?

jonahx 13y ago

Reminds me of: http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-probably-just-too-intimidat,33916/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-prob...

jacalata 13y ago

This is kind of like the ways I have helped my boyfriend learn programming except for how it is hopelessly mired in the idea that programmers are guys who have cutely technologically impaired girlfriends.

jtheory 13y ago
Did you teach your boyfriend how to quicksort your knife collection? Way to go, brothe- uh, friend.
reginaldjcooper 13y ago
Where exactly is that idea expressed? EDIT: Fine, if you read into the preface where he talks about his programmer friends I guess they are all male. That's hardly hopelessly mired, it's more like an unfortunate choice of description. I bet the author would assume women programmers feel the exact same way about their partners as well.
- chlostick 13y ago
  It's heavily implied in the language of the article. Chances are you're right, and if we asked the author of the article, he might say that: yeah, it works both ways, and this is just his experience. The problem is that this is an instructional article, and his language excludes the idea of female programmers completely. It doesn't mean he's a horrible person because of it. It's just that this kind of language is still the norm, and it would be great if we could be recognised as equals, and not for us to be expected to assume it in the face of exclusion. Language is important, because it affects how we perceive one another. So jacalata's comment serves as a polite critisism. Women are people too, and you all know that, but sometimes some folks need to be reminded to reflect that in their language.
  - novalis 13y ago
    So you state that from your POV his language reflected that women are not people too ??? That is really great, that you had to make a throw away account to put that out there, it reflects a lot about you trying to raise issue with something you create a strawman for on the first line of your comment. "If we asked the author..." and than you present an imaginary author giving an 'apology'. That is abysmally poor and you had to protect your regular account because of it. In no way does he ever objectify his girlfriend and you just project to no end. Where does he exclude "the idea of female programmers completely". Maybe in the same way that he excludes the idea of "dead rhinos", because it isn't the point. The point his, he is excited about his girlfriend wanting him to teach her about programming and wrote about it. Go rain on someone elses parade. To your other point, there is nothing polite about insulting others with sexist labels. The 'polite criticism reminds people woman are people too' tirade... ending with the "and you all know that"/"some folks", is just priceless and telling passive aggressive form after preaching against the bad male sexist programmer that should watch his language.

bromagosa 13y ago

A bit too much of a patronizing tone in this article... it even felt quite sexist at some points.

novalis 13y ago
Having read the article, I think it would be good for you to quote something out of it that is blatantly sexist. So that your comment doesn't equal a mixed insult to the writer based on a general feeling you had at times.
- johnplaxton 13y ago
  Why is it "teach your girlfriend"? Why does he presume that his audience has a girlfriend who needs to be taught, rather than a boyfriend? You can't say "well he has a girlfriend so he wrote it like that" because he's not talking about him in the title, he's talking about you - he's presuming you have a girlfriend who needs to be taught, and that's sexist. I don't think it's the crime of the century, but I do think less of the guy.
  - novalis 13y ago
    Mostly because some other person who happens to be a man and is in a relation with a person that happens to be a woman may feel like teaching her some basic programming and a title that ports this situation to a possible reader elicits a stronger connection. That and "How a humam should teach another human partner how to program" would be very daft. I don't see anywhere in there, where it is stated that a girlfriend needs to be taught. Would it be ok if it was "teach your boyfriend" ? Where are you going with this ? You think that title is sexist because he says he has a girfriend that he will be teaching ?
    - johnplaxton 13y ago
      It wouldn't be sexist if he wrote "how I taught my girlfriend to program". Imagine if it said "how to teach your black friend to program". Why only black friends? Why only girlfriends?

acqq 13y ago

Don't even try to teach anybody anything unless he/she actually wants you to do that. Teaching is completely different from giving somebody idea what you're doing. Especially try to be aware how many things you "know" as a "professional" are fully irrelevant details about the technologies or methods that are going to be obsolete in very, very short time. Most of the "knowledge" that make you money today is irrelevant even in just a few years. Or I have a lot of lectures about Clipper 5 and CP/M to teach you.

Wintamute 13y ago

To those saying this post is partly sexist, I think it says more about the prism through which you choose to view the world than anything about the author. This is just a guy and girl that have found themselves in a relationship where one is interested to learn the skills of the other. He's happy and excited to teach her, which is totally understandable. I see no evidence to suggest he feels like he's paternalistically teaching her about the world, rather he's glad he's found a partner he can share his enthusiasm with.

jtheory 13y ago
It does say something that he doesn't realize his ideas could also apply to relationships where the tech/non-tech roles are reversed; the possibility just didn't occur to him. Imagine an article about teaching other people how to, I don't know, paint with watercolors, and the author kept assuming his audience was women, teaching their hopefully attractive, fit boyfriends how to do it, even though it might seem like an impossible task.
- novalis 13y ago
  I see where you are going with that. But he does write from his own perspective and doesn't set out to approach your specific concerns. In his case I hope his girlfriend doesn't teach him about medicine at all so he doesn't get any ideas. Except for the real basic parts, because who knows, that could be useful at some point. But not because he is a man, of course.
- xerophtye 13y ago
  Hey I am a programmer and dating a med student. And the information flow is usually from her to me. I am intensely inept at Medical Science and so I am always eager to learn from from her. I find it fascinating :) and your case with your bf is pretty cool! (And I am sorry but i AM a programmer with a cute technologically-impaired girlfriend :P cant help it)
johnplaxton 13y ago
Then why does he say "teach your girlfriend" rather than teach your partner, or teach your friend, or teach someone? If the fact that it is his girlfriend is just his situation, why suggest that I teach my girlfriend in the title?

itsjustluck 13y ago

If you don't love someone, change them. Great lesson of love here.