Find an actual person to teach you. People teach much better than a book can. I know the feeling with having trouble working through books. Quit trying to poun

Find an actual person to teach you. People teach much better than a book can. I know the feeling with having trouble working through books. Quit trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. Find what works for you (your current approach doesn't!) Don't learn/read things just because you think they are good for you. Do what you are actually interested in.