Break it down further - the attention isn't monolithic. There are bullies, there are friends, there are friends who bully, bullies you want to be friends with,

Break it down further - the attention isn't monolithic. There are bullies, there are friends, there are friends who bully, bullies you want to be friends with, shit's complicated. That emotional confusion can get you stuck in a loop. You don't realize you're on a rollercoaster, addicted not to the highs or the lows but the difference between them. Stability, flat ground, feels like flatlining. You're a junkie, and nobody knows it, least of all you, because every inch of it is in your head, where you make sure never to find it. E.g., "Love The Way You Lie."