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Sometimes, children need to be screamed at. It's good for them.

DanBC 13y ago
Assuming for the moment that you're correct: How often is acceptable? How about every day for a child less than a year old? How about more than four times a day for an eight year old? How about more screaming than talking for a fourteen your old? But I reject your statement. Children almost never need to be screamed at, and it is not good for them.
- bolder88 13y ago
  If a child steps into the road without looking and is in imminent danger of being killed, I'd scream at them, as would any other sane parent.
- Ntrails 13y ago
  Let's phrase it this way. How often is it reasonable for a parent to raise their voice at a child? For example. Child goes to touch sharp/hot/poisonous item My likely response would be "Leave it alone" or something similar, in a considerably louder and more imperative voice than normal instruction. Why? Because the change in tone conveys importance, and the shock will institute an instant response from a child. This is entirely separate from telling a child off for a misbehaviour already having occurred, which I agree rarely (if ever) should require "Screaming" as a method of conveying displeasure and attempting to prevent recurrence. Inevitably it will happen, because parents are human too and make errors of judgement and lack patience.
- pfortuny 13y ago
  You reject his statement but then you say that children "almost never need...", so you accept that sometimes they might need? I am lost. Why is screaming almost intrinsically "bad"? You are trying to quantize behaviour and, sorry, it cannot be done. Would you ask how many times it is good to kiss one's mother? One? Ten? One hundred? Every time the child leaves? Just once? Uhu?
  - nitrogen 13y ago
    Perhaps you've never been screamed at. Where by "screamed at" I mean "the recipient of uncontrolled, unfiltered, absolute maximum strength, irrational, untempered, terrifying rage." I don't believe that's ever appropriate.
skunkworks 13y ago
Mmm, if it's not acceptable to scream at an adult, it's not any better to scream at a child.
- rthomas6 13y ago
  There is such a thing as justified anger. I wouldn't use the word "scream", but I would raise my voice at adults under certain circumstances.
contingencies 13y ago
OK, so I don't quite have kids yet but I would tend to disagree... it's possible to be firm without screaming. I mean what is screaming, basically? It's expressing frustration or anger by "me-me-me"-ing your environment: blocking out what anyone else might be saying or doing, potentially while demanding them to behave how you wish them to. Not so different to a politican or an Oprah argument, really. Isn't that exactly the kind of antisocial habit that parents should be teaching children not to engage in?
ledge 13y ago
As someone who worked in a school all of last year, I disagree too. I never screamed at any child, and I had fewer problems with discipline than the teachers that did. For me it is better to explain why I am angry or disappointed with a child's behavior in private, and if I don't see a change then implement a punishment like missing recess, changing seats, or sending the child to talk to a counselor/principal. I worked with younger kids, so these were pretty effective punishments. If you resort to screaming right away, the child won't open up to you about problems at home, problems with teasing, etc. that are important to understanding why they might be acting out. If the child trusts and likes you, they'll try harder to behave for you... it's really not very different than an adult relationship.

DanBC 13y ago

Assuming for the moment that you're correct: How often is acceptable? How about every day for a child less than a year old? How about more than four times a day for an eight year old? How about more screaming than talking for a fourteen your old? But I reject your statement. Children almost never need to be screamed at, and it is not good for them.

bolder88 13y ago
If a child steps into the road without looking and is in imminent danger of being killed, I'd scream at them, as would any other sane parent.
Ntrails 13y ago
Let's phrase it this way. How often is it reasonable for a parent to raise their voice at a child? For example. Child goes to touch sharp/hot/poisonous item My likely response would be "Leave it alone" or something similar, in a considerably louder and more imperative voice than normal instruction. Why? Because the change in tone conveys importance, and the shock will institute an instant response from a child. This is entirely separate from telling a child off for a misbehaviour already having occurred, which I agree rarely (if ever) should require "Screaming" as a method of conveying displeasure and attempting to prevent recurrence. Inevitably it will happen, because parents are human too and make errors of judgement and lack patience.
pfortuny 13y ago
You reject his statement but then you say that children "almost never need...", so you accept that sometimes they might need? I am lost. Why is screaming almost intrinsically "bad"? You are trying to quantize behaviour and, sorry, it cannot be done. Would you ask how many times it is good to kiss one's mother? One? Ten? One hundred? Every time the child leaves? Just once? Uhu?
- nitrogen 13y ago
  Perhaps you've never been screamed at. Where by "screamed at" I mean "the recipient of uncontrolled, unfiltered, absolute maximum strength, irrational, untempered, terrifying rage." I don't believe that's ever appropriate.

skunkworks 13y ago

Mmm, if it's not acceptable to scream at an adult, it's not any better to scream at a child.

rthomas6 13y ago
There is such a thing as justified anger. I wouldn't use the word "scream", but I would raise my voice at adults under certain circumstances.

contingencies 13y ago

OK, so I don't quite have kids yet but I would tend to disagree... it's possible to be firm without screaming. I mean what is screaming, basically? It's expressing frustration or anger by "me-me-me"-ing your environment: blocking out what anyone else might be saying or doing, potentially while demanding them to behave how you wish them to. Not so different to a politican or an Oprah argument, really. Isn't that exactly the kind of antisocial habit that parents should be teaching children not to engage in?

ledge 13y ago

As someone who worked in a school all of last year, I disagree too. I never screamed at any child, and I had fewer problems with discipline than the teachers that did. For me it is better to explain why I am angry or disappointed with a child's behavior in private, and if I don't see a change then implement a punishment like missing recess, changing seats, or sending the child to talk to a counselor/principal. I worked with younger kids, so these were pretty effective punishments. If you resort to screaming right away, the child won't open up to you about problems at home, problems with teasing, etc. that are important to understanding why they might be acting out. If the child trusts and likes you, they'll try harder to behave for you... it's really not very different than an adult relationship.