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It is about the student's experience reflected in the eyes of a mother. Parents are not known for their objectivity when it comes to children, but in this case

It is about the student's experience reflected in the eyes of a mother. Parents are not known for their objectivity when it comes to children, but in this case the (rather far fetched) idea that the evil boys and their sandwich jokes made her daughter dislike programming found fertile ground in the whole "designated victim" narrative of women in online environments. There is no violence and rape in this story, there's only a mom with an axe to grind and a daughter who might not be interested in programming.

etfb 13y ago
This is a learning moment for you, Mr stefantalpalaru. What you've just said, although I know you meant it sanely and sensibly, has been interpreted as lacking in compassion. This is not your fault; what happened is you have made a comment from a position of unrecognised privilege. For your own good, and the good of any women you may have any kind of relationship with now and into the future, it would be a very good idea for you to read up on the concept of privilege, with an open mind. You will find it uncomfortable, and you will probably prefer to fight back rather than acknowledge a flaw in yourself, but in the long run it will prove to be the best thing to do, and you'll be glad you did. Best wishes, and good luck!
- lmartel 13y ago
  Poe's law in action. I have legitimately no idea whether this is mean-spirited satire or earnest bullshit. If you are NOT being sarcastic: there are productive ways to talk about these (important) issues, be it gender, race, whatever--but this sort of "privilege" circlejerk is a huge waste of time as well as hugely condescending. If you have a point to make then make it. Sitting around in a Privilege Circle saying "oh, no, I'm worse, you're white but I'm straight" is slacktivist bullshit at its worst.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- Pinatubo 13y ago
  If your goal is to increase the acceptance of women in the tech community, this post is very counterproductive.
  - etfb 13y ago
    Not at all! My goal is to respond to someone who is unkind with something close to kindness. If he goes on the way he has been, he'll do himself as much damage as he does to the people around him. The reasonable response to that sort of privileged blindness is anger; I was aiming for something a little more compassionate. You, however, don't get the same consideration, because I strongly suspect you're a pillock.
- hacker789 13y ago
  It's probably safe to assume that you're parodying the nakedly Orwellian nature of third-wave feminists, but I'm going to respond just in case this is a serious post. This use of "privilege" as a targeted weapon to silence specific demographics has to stop. Women in the western world have always been among the safest, most privileged people on Earth. This entire thread, in fact, has been a shining example of female privilege. No one cares that women soundly outnumber men in university admission, and university graduation, and even high school graduation. Heck, no one cares that it is men who overwhelmingly make up the bottom of society. Instead, we're having a collective anxiety attack because a hyper-privileged white woman is upset that her hyper-privileged white daughter might have had her feelings hurt in high school. This is surreal.
  - ArtDev 13y ago
    Another apologist on HN, what a surprise.. Let me guess.. you are a white male. Nice. So am I. We have no idea what its like.. Gender equality in America has come a long way. However, there are still many occupations and places in America where equality is not the norm at all. The best example of an occupation where women are not welcome is the military. The best example of inequality in the courts is this recent case: http://techcrunch.com/2013/06/09/hacker-faces-more-jail-time-than-the-convicted-steubenville-rapists-he-exposed/ http://techcrunch.com/2013/06/09/hacker-faces-more-jail-time... Inequality is all around us.
    - deleted 13y ago
      [deleted]
  - etfb 13y ago
    Oh dear. No help for you either, is there?
  - SideburnsOfDoom 13y ago
    For reference, hacker789 repeated this comment here https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6360113 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6360113 where it attracted more attention.
jacalata 13y ago
You must have had one horrific childhood if your bar for "nothing wrong at school" is "no violence or rape". If you ever have kids, I hope you aim a little higher for them.
- bragh 13y ago
  A school with "no violence or rape" wouldn't be just nothing wrong, it would be extraordinary. Even elite schools in developed and rich countries are filled with bullying: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/28/swedish-school-shut-bullying-claims http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/28/swedish-school-... Maybe you really ought to think about which school you went into in which neighborhood, which social clique you were a part of and if you still think no bullying happened, maybe it's time to think back on school and reevaluate some of your actions (hint: pranks and teasing might not be seen as that after all).
  - jacalata 13y ago
    I went to an all girls school, and while I'm sure there was bullying, there was definitely no violence or rape.
    - jacalata 13y ago
      Although I'm not really sure why your defense of rape as normal high school experience managed to turn into a subtle accusation that I may have been a bully myself, and I probably should have ignored that.
      - bragh 13y ago
        It wasn't a subtle accusation, because in my experience people who say school violence doesn't happen or they never saw it happen are/were actually bullies themselves. This post just confirmed it with the nice twisting of words, 'defense of rape as normal high school experience', oh really? I was pointing out how much, much worse stuff happens in schools than just being told to 'make a sandwich' and trust me, I would have been a very happy little boy if only that had happened to my friends and me. To be honest, starting from the author of the article, this entire thread displays just how sheltered of a life many of this community must be living to start an Internet crusade (because this is what it is going to end up when the social justice warriors get wind of it) because of a boring class with an unqualified teacher.
alukima 13y ago
It's not as much about "evil boys" in general, like other commenters have pointed out similar jokes are heard in all classes. But it's much harder when you're the only girl, guy, white kid, black kid, ect. Even if it's an innocent joke it starts a me against them mentality.

etfb 13y ago

This is a learning moment for you, Mr stefantalpalaru. What you've just said, although I know you meant it sanely and sensibly, has been interpreted as lacking in compassion. This is not your fault; what happened is you have made a comment from a position of unrecognised privilege. For your own good, and the good of any women you may have any kind of relationship with now and into the future, it would be a very good idea for you to read up on the concept of privilege, with an open mind. You will find it uncomfortable, and you will probably prefer to fight back rather than acknowledge a flaw in yourself, but in the long run it will prove to be the best thing to do, and you'll be glad you did. Best wishes, and good luck!

lmartel 13y ago
Poe's law in action. I have legitimately no idea whether this is mean-spirited satire or earnest bullshit. If you are NOT being sarcastic: there are productive ways to talk about these (important) issues, be it gender, race, whatever--but this sort of "privilege" circlejerk is a huge waste of time as well as hugely condescending. If you have a point to make then make it. Sitting around in a Privilege Circle saying "oh, no, I'm worse, you're white but I'm straight" is slacktivist bullshit at its worst.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
Pinatubo 13y ago
If your goal is to increase the acceptance of women in the tech community, this post is very counterproductive.
- etfb 13y ago
  Not at all! My goal is to respond to someone who is unkind with something close to kindness. If he goes on the way he has been, he'll do himself as much damage as he does to the people around him. The reasonable response to that sort of privileged blindness is anger; I was aiming for something a little more compassionate. You, however, don't get the same consideration, because I strongly suspect you're a pillock.
hacker789 13y ago
It's probably safe to assume that you're parodying the nakedly Orwellian nature of third-wave feminists, but I'm going to respond just in case this is a serious post. This use of "privilege" as a targeted weapon to silence specific demographics has to stop. Women in the western world have always been among the safest, most privileged people on Earth. This entire thread, in fact, has been a shining example of female privilege. No one cares that women soundly outnumber men in university admission, and university graduation, and even high school graduation. Heck, no one cares that it is men who overwhelmingly make up the bottom of society. Instead, we're having a collective anxiety attack because a hyper-privileged white woman is upset that her hyper-privileged white daughter might have had her feelings hurt in high school. This is surreal.
- ArtDev 13y ago
  Another apologist on HN, what a surprise.. Let me guess.. you are a white male. Nice. So am I. We have no idea what its like.. Gender equality in America has come a long way. However, there are still many occupations and places in America where equality is not the norm at all. The best example of an occupation where women are not welcome is the military. The best example of inequality in the courts is this recent case: http://techcrunch.com/2013/06/09/hacker-faces-more-jail-time-than-the-convicted-steubenville-rapists-he-exposed/ http://techcrunch.com/2013/06/09/hacker-faces-more-jail-time... Inequality is all around us.
  - deleted 13y ago
    [deleted]
- etfb 13y ago
  Oh dear. No help for you either, is there?
- SideburnsOfDoom 13y ago
  For reference, hacker789 repeated this comment here https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6360113 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6360113 where it attracted more attention.

jacalata 13y ago

You must have had one horrific childhood if your bar for "nothing wrong at school" is "no violence or rape". If you ever have kids, I hope you aim a little higher for them.

bragh 13y ago
A school with "no violence or rape" wouldn't be just nothing wrong, it would be extraordinary. Even elite schools in developed and rich countries are filled with bullying: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/28/swedish-school-shut-bullying-claims http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/28/swedish-school-... Maybe you really ought to think about which school you went into in which neighborhood, which social clique you were a part of and if you still think no bullying happened, maybe it's time to think back on school and reevaluate some of your actions (hint: pranks and teasing might not be seen as that after all).
- jacalata 13y ago
  I went to an all girls school, and while I'm sure there was bullying, there was definitely no violence or rape.
  - jacalata 13y ago
    Although I'm not really sure why your defense of rape as normal high school experience managed to turn into a subtle accusation that I may have been a bully myself, and I probably should have ignored that.
    - bragh 13y ago
      It wasn't a subtle accusation, because in my experience people who say school violence doesn't happen or they never saw it happen are/were actually bullies themselves. This post just confirmed it with the nice twisting of words, 'defense of rape as normal high school experience', oh really? I was pointing out how much, much worse stuff happens in schools than just being told to 'make a sandwich' and trust me, I would have been a very happy little boy if only that had happened to my friends and me. To be honest, starting from the author of the article, this entire thread displays just how sheltered of a life many of this community must be living to start an Internet crusade (because this is what it is going to end up when the social justice warriors get wind of it) because of a boring class with an unqualified teacher.

alukima 13y ago

It's not as much about "evil boys" in general, like other commenters have pointed out similar jokes are heard in all classes. But it's much harder when you're the only girl, guy, white kid, black kid, ect. Even if it's an innocent joke it starts a me against them mentality.