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I prefer a more tactful style myself, but i would have to agree that a lot of perceived "jerkiness" is really an expression of misplaced respect. I have known

by Joeri 13y ago

I prefer a more tactful style myself, but i would have to agree that a lot of perceived "jerkiness" is really an expression of misplaced respect. I have known programmers who are brutally honest, but they do it because in their mind that is how adults talk to each other and this is how they wish to be treated themselves. Being 'tactful' in their mind is the equivalent of treating the other person like a child, and inherently disrespectful. I can see that point of view even if i don't think it is productive. And then i have known programmers who are just bullies and mean. The difference is that they bittercoat things, making them sound deliberately worse, and they push people down so they can feel smug. That is not ok.

dnautics 13y ago
even bittercoating things is not necessarily bad. Sometimes it's good to take a pessimistic attitude and come out being pleasantly surprised, if you're the type of person who sees it as a challenge and not a discouragement. The litmus test is when the bittercoated thing turns out to work, does the person who delivered the skepticism come forward and congratulate you on a job well done?
- jtbigwoo 13y ago
  It's been my experience that putting a really negative person on a team is like handing that team an anchor. Either the team starts to ignore and isolate them or their attitude wears everyone down and the rest of the team stops trying. I've seen successful negative people whose jobs allowed them to go off and do their own thing, but I've never seen them thrive on a team unless their attitude changed.
  - dnautics 13y ago
    well, I should have qualified that I don't mean that you should be negative all the time. Because you exhibit a lack of judgement if you can't identify good things, just as much as you exhibit a lack of judgement if you can't identify mistakes and vocalize it vociferously.

by Joeri 13y ago

dnautics 13y ago

even bittercoating things is not necessarily bad. Sometimes it's good to take a pessimistic attitude and come out being pleasantly surprised, if you're the type of person who sees it as a challenge and not a discouragement. The litmus test is when the bittercoated thing turns out to work, does the person who delivered the skepticism come forward and congratulate you on a job well done?

jtbigwoo 13y ago
It's been my experience that putting a really negative person on a team is like handing that team an anchor. Either the team starts to ignore and isolate them or their attitude wears everyone down and the rest of the team stops trying. I've seen successful negative people whose jobs allowed them to go off and do their own thing, but I've never seen them thrive on a team unless their attitude changed.
- dnautics 13y ago
  well, I should have qualified that I don't mean that you should be negative all the time. Because you exhibit a lack of judgement if you can't identify good things, just as much as you exhibit a lack of judgement if you can't identify mistakes and vocalize it vociferously.