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Wrong. Tact, compassion, and honesty are not in any way incompatible. And no, people who think they are being "brutally honest" while forgetting compassion or

by logjam 13y ago

Wrong. Tact, compassion, and honesty are not in any way incompatible. And no, people who think they are being "brutally honest" while forgetting compassion or even basic fucking manners are not doing so with others' best interests at heart. They are just being assholes. There are bonafide reasons for that behavior, and they deserve a measure of compassion themselves while receiving that message, but don't try gilding the orifice's behavior.

ticviking 13y ago
This. Being "Brutally Honest" while combining that with tact is a rare communication skill that is an essential part of interacting in polite company. Having that skill and developing it has done more for the effectiveness of my teams than any other skill I have ever developed.
dnautics 13y ago
[maybe nsfw] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cV_q-mVAAA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cV_q-mVAAA
rybosome 13y ago
Correct. I'm sick of the "I am just being honest" defense. There is a large margin between being honest and being an asshole. Question: "Do you think I should rewrite this code?" Honest answer: "Yes, definitely. You've made some mistakes that will make this impossible to maintain, such as...". Asshole answer: "Yeah, this code looks like shit". As the author noted, this tendency is symptomatic of people with high intelligence, but questionably intact egos. I left Mensa because I was tired of all the petty bickering resulting from people "being honest" about their opinions; if I had a nickel for every time someone was called a "moron" for stating their political leaning...ugh. Nobody is above civility and tact.
- dnautics 13y ago
  I think if you are using Mensa as your reference set, you've got some pretty extreme sample bias in terms of 'egos'.
  - rybosome 13y ago
    lol...nice catch. When I received my acceptance letter, I had to call them to see if I was actually a member; they had sent me someone else's test results. Nobody is above looking like a dumbass from time to time, either. =)
- jsonmez 13y ago
  Yes yes yes... all my yes

by logjam 13y ago

ticviking 13y ago

This. Being "Brutally Honest" while combining that with tact is a rare communication skill that is an essential part of interacting in polite company. Having that skill and developing it has done more for the effectiveness of my teams than any other skill I have ever developed.

dnautics 13y ago

[maybe nsfw] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cV_q-mVAAA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cV_q-mVAAA

rybosome 13y ago

Correct. I'm sick of the "I am just being honest" defense. There is a large margin between being honest and being an asshole. Question: "Do you think I should rewrite this code?" Honest answer: "Yes, definitely. You've made some mistakes that will make this impossible to maintain, such as...". Asshole answer: "Yeah, this code looks like shit". As the author noted, this tendency is symptomatic of people with high intelligence, but questionably intact egos. I left Mensa because I was tired of all the petty bickering resulting from people "being honest" about their opinions; if I had a nickel for every time someone was called a "moron" for stating their political leaning...ugh. Nobody is above civility and tact.

dnautics 13y ago
I think if you are using Mensa as your reference set, you've got some pretty extreme sample bias in terms of 'egos'.
- rybosome 13y ago
  lol...nice catch. When I received my acceptance letter, I had to call them to see if I was actually a member; they had sent me someone else's test results. Nobody is above looking like a dumbass from time to time, either. =)
jsonmez 13y ago
Yes yes yes... all my yes