I've had similar problems and saw a talk by Heidi Halvorson that reframed it a bit: Instead of trying to stop the "compare to others" behavior, replace the beha

I've had similar problems and saw a talk by Heidi Halvorson that reframed it a bit: Instead of trying to stop the "compare to others" behavior, replace the behavior instead with "compare to my own past performance". I've found measuring and hacking your own improvement is a more useful feedback loop.