6 ms·

Things I've Learned in my 20's

45 points by brenfrow 13y ago

deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
dfritsch 13y ago
I was really thinking this was going to be a pretty lame list (which probably puts my in with the other people who have time suck issues). I was pleasantly surprised though. A few good recommendations. I especially appreciate the reminder to journal more.
- mbrock 13y ago
  Yeah, I also found it very well-written, reasonable and honest. I'm in a kind of impressionable phase, in a good way, where I look at things like this like "whoa, minimize time sinks, that is a great thing, let's do that." One thing I've started to learn in my 20's is to really enjoy myself. Seems fairly important, don't know why I didn't think of it earlier...
njbooher 13y ago
Cached: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://www.discusr.com/post/536/11-things-i-ve-learned-in-my-20-s&strip=1 http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://...
ibudiallo 13y ago
I usually skip anything with this kind of title, but I am so glad to have read it. 12. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts with strangers.
brenfrow 13y ago
Wow didn't know this would bring down the site. Guess I better move away from Chicago VPS.
dvt 13y ago
This is a great read. I'm 27 and struggling to come to terms with many of the issues OP listed. Being naturally introverted, socially awkward, and overly elitist, (4), (5), (7) and (10) really struck a chord. My younger sister (at 23, she's virtually my opposite) is social, has significantly more friends than I do, and is probably much happier; I've always been jealous. When I was younger, I thought that my intellect would take me more places than it actually has. I was never social (and we moved around a lot), so - even now - I find it very hard to figure people out. It's something I try to work on every day but it's very much a work still in progress.
- mercer 13y ago
  Good to hear you're working on it. I can have a tendency to be elitist and see myself as smarter or better than others. I can also get annoyed and frustrated easily. I try to turn that 'off' as much as possible, because it doesn't work. I would add though, that 'figuring people out' is not the most important thing. I've wasted many hours in my twenties in attempting to do this, but what works best, in my opinion, is to just be as transparent, direct, and uncomplicated as possible, combined with an assumption that the other means well, and kindness. Avoid drama. Some of the most popular/liked people I know, interestingly, are not always nice. More important, it seems, is that they are consistent. You know what you get, and you can either take it or leave it.
nzealand 13y ago
Things I've Learned in my 30's 1. My only true regrets are the opportunities I failed to take.
selectstar 13y ago
I feel this article is only going to resonate with those past this point in life... Things I've learnt in my thirties.... 1. Learn now, making time for it later will be very difficult and require sacrifice. 2. Maintain informal human connections via facebook, twitter etc. It’s easy to be smug and say I only value friends who I talk with in real life, but the reality for the youth today is that you will be lonely and miss out on events by being a snob. (Also, no one will email you photographs, ever.) 3. Don't take (older) family for granted. Get your grandparents a cheap cell and teach them how to text, they will love you for it. Get your Grandpa playing an older version of Civ on an old laptop etc. Don’t bother with extended family events, cousins, siblings that you don’t enjoy, spend your time with friends instead. 4. Find a job that you enjoy (and work won’t seem like work, some of the time.) Also, be good at it, don’t half-ass it early on. 5. Be more supportive to those around you, colleagues and friends alike. Have them realise you are crutch that can be there when they need it, don’t be a doormat. 6. Realise how lucky you are never to have endured real hardship. (This goes for most suburban raised/affluent human beings on earth, not the small percentage that truly started from nothing.) 7. Choose saving over spending outwith means. Do everything you can thrifty, trip to Europe in your 20’s? Stay in a hostel with other fun people, business class and that cool boutique hotel can wait. You can leverage the money into better things later if you already have a solid amount of cash on hand. Be that buying a home when you get the opportunity, amazing holidays with a partner when you really need the luxury r&r, providing for your children without any negligible detriment to your quality of life etc etc. 8. Don’t forget things that are important. Use photographs, a diary, self email or a text file on your desktop... Whatever works for you. 9. Enjoy food and drink in your 20’s as later on it will be a case of “Everything in moderation.” (I’d tag on find a sport/hobby you love and it won’t feel like exercise in the future when your body needs it... Swimming, walking, martial arts, anything!) 10. People = Sh#t. This is just me as I’m quite the (cartoon) nihilist, but please respect peoples boundaries because some people like to be left alone, don’t encroach on others personal space. 11. Don't Forget to Tell Your Spouse How Much You Love Them. I kind of agree, but instead I’d say remember it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have one and if you do, remember to work at it... Try not to be a d#ck.
- mironathetin 13y ago
mercer 13y ago
I would like to add the following: 1. Most people are alright, but avoid the few who aren't like the plague. I've always had the fortune to not lose my trust in people, but I've found that it took me a significant time in my twenties to learn how to filter out the bad people (perhaps because of this). Especially bad partners. The converse can also be true. I know people who seem to have based their entire outlook on a few shitty people in their lives (sadly, parents are often the culprits), and miss out on connections, and opportunities, because they assume the worst. Finding a balance in this regard, I believe, has been one of the things that most increased my general quality of life, and (moderate) success. 2. Lots of people are lonely Perhaps this mostly applicable to post-college life, but I've been shocked to find out how many people around me feel isolated and lonely. Knowing this, however, helped in gaining the courage to approach others, knowing that they are just as willing to make new friends as I am.

45 points by brenfrow 13y ago

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

I was really thinking this was going to be a pretty lame list (which probably puts my in with the other people who have time suck issues). I was pleasantly surprised though. A few good recommendations. I especially appreciate the reminder to journal more.

mbrock 13y ago
Yeah, I also found it very well-written, reasonable and honest. I'm in a kind of impressionable phase, in a good way, where I look at things like this like "whoa, minimize time sinks, that is a great thing, let's do that." One thing I've started to learn in my 20's is to really enjoy myself. Seems fairly important, don't know why I didn't think of it earlier...

njbooher 13y ago

Cached: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://www.discusr.com/post/536/11-things-i-ve-learned-in-my-20-s&strip=1 http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://...

ibudiallo 13y ago

I usually skip anything with this kind of title, but I am so glad to have read it. 12. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts with strangers.

brenfrow 13y ago

Wow didn't know this would bring down the site. Guess I better move away from Chicago VPS.

dvt 13y ago

This is a great read. I'm 27 and struggling to come to terms with many of the issues OP listed. Being naturally introverted, socially awkward, and overly elitist, (4), (5), (7) and (10) really struck a chord. My younger sister (at 23, she's virtually my opposite) is social, has significantly more friends than I do, and is probably much happier; I've always been jealous. When I was younger, I thought that my intellect would take me more places than it actually has. I was never social (and we moved around a lot), so - even now - I find it very hard to figure people out. It's something I try to work on every day but it's very much a work still in progress.

mercer 13y ago
Good to hear you're working on it. I can have a tendency to be elitist and see myself as smarter or better than others. I can also get annoyed and frustrated easily. I try to turn that 'off' as much as possible, because it doesn't work. I would add though, that 'figuring people out' is not the most important thing. I've wasted many hours in my twenties in attempting to do this, but what works best, in my opinion, is to just be as transparent, direct, and uncomplicated as possible, combined with an assumption that the other means well, and kindness. Avoid drama. Some of the most popular/liked people I know, interestingly, are not always nice. More important, it seems, is that they are consistent. You know what you get, and you can either take it or leave it.

nzealand 13y ago

Things I've Learned in my 30's 1. My only true regrets are the opportunities I failed to take.

selectstar 13y ago

I feel this article is only going to resonate with those past this point in life... Things I've learnt in my thirties.... 1. Learn now, making time for it later will be very difficult and require sacrifice. 2. Maintain informal human connections via facebook, twitter etc. It’s easy to be smug and say I only value friends who I talk with in real life, but the reality for the youth today is that you will be lonely and miss out on events by being a snob. (Also, no one will email you photographs, ever.) 3. Don't take (older) family for granted. Get your grandparents a cheap cell and teach them how to text, they will love you for it. Get your Grandpa playing an older version of Civ on an old laptop etc. Don’t bother with extended family events, cousins, siblings that you don’t enjoy, spend your time with friends instead. 4. Find a job that you enjoy (and work won’t seem like work, some of the time.) Also, be good at it, don’t half-ass it early on. 5. Be more supportive to those around you, colleagues and friends alike. Have them realise you are crutch that can be there when they need it, don’t be a doormat. 6. Realise how lucky you are never to have endured real hardship. (This goes for most suburban raised/affluent human beings on earth, not the small percentage that truly started from nothing.) 7. Choose saving over spending outwith means. Do everything you can thrifty, trip to Europe in your 20’s? Stay in a hostel with other fun people, business class and that cool boutique hotel can wait. You can leverage the money into better things later if you already have a solid amount of cash on hand. Be that buying a home when you get the opportunity, amazing holidays with a partner when you really need the luxury r&r, providing for your children without any negligible detriment to your quality of life etc etc. 8. Don’t forget things that are important. Use photographs, a diary, self email or a text file on your desktop... Whatever works for you. 9. Enjoy food and drink in your 20’s as later on it will be a case of “Everything in moderation.” (I’d tag on find a sport/hobby you love and it won’t feel like exercise in the future when your body needs it... Swimming, walking, martial arts, anything!) 10. People = Sh#t. This is just me as I’m quite the (cartoon) nihilist, but please respect peoples boundaries because some people like to be left alone, don’t encroach on others personal space. 11. Don't Forget to Tell Your Spouse How Much You Love Them. I kind of agree, but instead I’d say remember it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have one and if you do, remember to work at it... Try not to be a d#ck.

mironathetin 13y ago

mercer 13y ago

I would like to add the following: 1. Most people are alright, but avoid the few who aren't like the plague. I've always had the fortune to not lose my trust in people, but I've found that it took me a significant time in my twenties to learn how to filter out the bad people (perhaps because of this). Especially bad partners. The converse can also be true. I know people who seem to have based their entire outlook on a few shitty people in their lives (sadly, parents are often the culprits), and miss out on connections, and opportunities, because they assume the worst. Finding a balance in this regard, I believe, has been one of the things that most increased my general quality of life, and (moderate) success. 2. Lots of people are lonely Perhaps this mostly applicable to post-college life, but I've been shocked to find out how many people around me feel isolated and lonely. Knowing this, however, helped in gaining the courage to approach others, knowing that they are just as willing to make new friends as I am.