4 ms·

The one skill you are born with, that we won’t hire without

13 points by kevingibbon 13y ago

bliti 13y ago
I'll be empathetic and put myself in your shoes. You have a growing company, and need to hire good talent. Funds might be low, so you set out to blog about something unrelated in order to include a jobs pitch. I understand. Startups are hard. I'm currently trying to develop a tiny one myself, and having a hard time doing so. Though I reason this type of blog post will mostly go unnoticed by the talent that you seek. Try and be empathetic with programmers. What do we like to read about? What is our type of content? Write about that.
EvanKelly 13y ago
I'm not sure I agree with the premise that you are either born with empathy or you aren't. Of course there are sociopaths who are defined by their lack of empathy, but they (hopefully) aren't your run of the mill job applicants. I've always thought of myself as empathetic, but was surprised when I became even more so after a life changing event. I've spoken to many with a similar experience. Large, traumatic events can bring the world into focus and shift perspective for those who experience them. Perhaps it's not an increase in empathy, but rather a better understanding of what really matters to me. I don't yell at the customer service rep on the phone solely because I care about their feelings, but mostly because it's simply not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things whether my internet is out or if I miss my flight. If someone I care about is in danger, I doubt I would be as "empathetic". There's always the old adage: "You catch more flies with honey"
wpietri 13y ago
From the title, my first thought was, "Ability to drink milk from a bottle?" I'm a little scared to click the link.
- pavel_lishin 13y ago
  Only if there's a nipple attached.
arnarbi 13y ago
I greatly disagree that empathy is innate. It's exactly what separates "teenagers" from young adults, and is very much a learned skill.
- JoeAltmaier 13y ago
  I believe its learned, before the age of 4 or not at all. citation? here it is: Wikipedia article on Empathy: "most children do not show a fully fledged theory of mind until around the age of four"
- jeremysmyth 13y ago
  Absolutely. Find anyone who tests as an introvert but behaves (in some circumstances) as an extrovert and you're looking at someone who's learned empathy as an adult.
- gte910h 13y ago
  The effect you're referring to is a symptom of lack of mylenation on the neural pathways to the prefrontal cortex. It keeps developing in many people till the mid 20s. It makes it so accessing empathy (and judgement in general) non-instantaneous for teens. Adults have the mylenation, so can far more quickly access the prefrontal cortex's gifts in a split second manner. http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html for more on this effect While you certainly may be able to learn things as well, this is a developmental brain function issue too. There is a limited amount of training, and a certain amount of waiting, involved in getting an adult.
  - arnarbi 13y ago
    Thank you! Very happy to learn that for once, science backs up my mental model of something.
cz20xx 13y ago
Does having empathy mean having to deal with tacky Windows admins who make quasi-racist jokes and look over your shoulder at work because since you're 20 years younger than them, there's no way you could possibly know how to use a Unix-like operating system.
lmartel 13y ago
"The one WEIRD startup tip discovered by a Palo Alto mom--and why YCombinator HATES her!!!"
anigbrowl 13y ago
I'm afraid this left me with the impression that the writer is an extremely patronizing individual with a bad temper.
B-Con 13y ago
If it's a requisite for hiring, how do you test for it? Or do you only reject candidates that clearly don't have it?
stephenaturner 13y ago
Don't know if I entirely agree either that you're "born with it or not", but I think it is something largely unteachable, but most people do develop it over time (if they're going to develop it at all). Hence, teenagers often don't have much but they will get it eventually, or certain life experiences can open you to having more empathy. There isn't much you can do to "teach" it.
- jeremysmyth 13y ago
  Sure you can. It's like any life skill. There might not be a systematic universal way to learn "professionalism", "manners", "etiquette", or "communication skills", but those are certainly taught and learned. Why not empathy, which is absolutely a core part of each of the above?
  - gte910h 13y ago
    It's a brain function to have instantaneous access. You can't teach the brain to mylenate faster. However, teens can slow down (count to 10) and then they can access much of the same as adult judgement and empathy. http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html for more
- gte910h 13y ago
  It is a function of brain development, but by slowing down and using deliberative access, teens can get to it too http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html

13 points by kevingibbon 13y ago

bliti 13y ago

I'll be empathetic and put myself in your shoes. You have a growing company, and need to hire good talent. Funds might be low, so you set out to blog about something unrelated in order to include a jobs pitch. I understand. Startups are hard. I'm currently trying to develop a tiny one myself, and having a hard time doing so. Though I reason this type of blog post will mostly go unnoticed by the talent that you seek. Try and be empathetic with programmers. What do we like to read about? What is our type of content? Write about that.

EvanKelly 13y ago

I'm not sure I agree with the premise that you are either born with empathy or you aren't. Of course there are sociopaths who are defined by their lack of empathy, but they (hopefully) aren't your run of the mill job applicants. I've always thought of myself as empathetic, but was surprised when I became even more so after a life changing event. I've spoken to many with a similar experience. Large, traumatic events can bring the world into focus and shift perspective for those who experience them. Perhaps it's not an increase in empathy, but rather a better understanding of what really matters to me. I don't yell at the customer service rep on the phone solely because I care about their feelings, but mostly because it's simply not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things whether my internet is out or if I miss my flight. If someone I care about is in danger, I doubt I would be as "empathetic". There's always the old adage: "You catch more flies with honey"

wpietri 13y ago

From the title, my first thought was, "Ability to drink milk from a bottle?" I'm a little scared to click the link.

pavel_lishin 13y ago
Only if there's a nipple attached.

arnarbi 13y ago

I greatly disagree that empathy is innate. It's exactly what separates "teenagers" from young adults, and is very much a learned skill.

JoeAltmaier 13y ago
I believe its learned, before the age of 4 or not at all. citation? here it is: Wikipedia article on Empathy: "most children do not show a fully fledged theory of mind until around the age of four"
jeremysmyth 13y ago
Absolutely. Find anyone who tests as an introvert but behaves (in some circumstances) as an extrovert and you're looking at someone who's learned empathy as an adult.
gte910h 13y ago
The effect you're referring to is a symptom of lack of mylenation on the neural pathways to the prefrontal cortex. It keeps developing in many people till the mid 20s. It makes it so accessing empathy (and judgement in general) non-instantaneous for teens. Adults have the mylenation, so can far more quickly access the prefrontal cortex's gifts in a split second manner. http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html for more on this effect While you certainly may be able to learn things as well, this is a developmental brain function issue too. There is a limited amount of training, and a certain amount of waiting, involved in getting an adult.
- arnarbi 13y ago
  Thank you! Very happy to learn that for once, science backs up my mental model of something.

cz20xx 13y ago

Does having empathy mean having to deal with tacky Windows admins who make quasi-racist jokes and look over your shoulder at work because since you're 20 years younger than them, there's no way you could possibly know how to use a Unix-like operating system.

lmartel 13y ago

"The one WEIRD startup tip discovered by a Palo Alto mom--and why YCombinator HATES her!!!"

anigbrowl 13y ago

I'm afraid this left me with the impression that the writer is an extremely patronizing individual with a bad temper.

B-Con 13y ago

If it's a requisite for hiring, how do you test for it? Or do you only reject candidates that clearly don't have it?

stephenaturner 13y ago

Don't know if I entirely agree either that you're "born with it or not", but I think it is something largely unteachable, but most people do develop it over time (if they're going to develop it at all). Hence, teenagers often don't have much but they will get it eventually, or certain life experiences can open you to having more empathy. There isn't much you can do to "teach" it.

jeremysmyth 13y ago
Sure you can. It's like any life skill. There might not be a systematic universal way to learn "professionalism", "manners", "etiquette", or "communication skills", but those are certainly taught and learned. Why not empathy, which is absolutely a core part of each of the above?
- gte910h 13y ago
  It's a brain function to have instantaneous access. You can't teach the brain to mylenate faster. However, teens can slow down (count to 10) and then they can access much of the same as adult judgement and empathy. http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html for more
gte910h 13y ago
It is a function of brain development, but by slowing down and using deliberative access, teens can get to it too http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html http://hrweb.mit.edu/worklife/youngadult/brain.html