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@jpeterson. Can you give more insight. I have similar situations- sometimes swear words just come out of my mouth(mostly alone..like when i am sitting on the th

@jpeterson. Can you give more insight. I have similar situations- sometimes swear words just come out of my mouth(mostly alone..like when i am sitting on the throne or in shower). I would like to know if there is any similarity. I don't have any kill someone thoughts, but death of my close ones sometimes engulf me. Sometimes, I catch myself making weird groans/grunts in the shower. (i try to reduce this by reading while s(h)itting and sometimes reading aloud) I have problems concentrating on anything - lately i have been trying to work on SICP and then I read about "achievers" - who of the same age - have forged ahead and i get depressed. small things like the ongoing world-war on rails-django affects me - in terms of picking which one. I start a project (after the long battle of picking which platform) and then lose the motivation in between. (lately i thought of an idea of twitter app and then read of these out of the world ideas/apps coming out and this literally gives me the sinking feeling, i get sweaty and out of energy) PS: i have been unemployed for a while. i am severely under-confident while giving interviews.i am highly depressed - not knowing what to concentrate on (i will do an ask-hn on this later). I think I have no programming skills.this after sitting thru enterprisey application doing j2ee/ejbs etc that could have been done in simpler ways. I envisioned the whole 20 member team being done by 7 members with some reflection apis...but i never mustered courage. Now when i start something, i think why? how is it going to help the world? i see the news - srilanka so many homeless people, darfur, faith based killings and i think what is my to-do app going to help? I cannot explain in words the depression - it is the niagara waterfall and not a stream that i can try to concentrate and pinpoint. I tried to pen my thoughts to make myself thoughts "active". but at that instant, my mind freezes and i have nothing to write. my ever-patient wife helps me everytime she can, but while she is at work, i am getting paranoid in my isolated cell. i have been thinking of doing an ask-hn on this for a while and everytime i dread getting these apathetic one liners - go see a doctor/ get a gf/ get laid. but i think i will post and do a reference to this one. @jpeterson - care to share more of your thoughts/experiences and your contact info?

dfranke 17y ago
Don't bother with the ask-HN post; just see a @#$%! doctor! While a lot less alarming than the TLP, this sounds vaguely like bipolar disorder, but you're not going to get help or a diagnosis on an internet forum, even if anyone who reads your post is a qualified psychologist (which I'm not).
eru 17y ago
> how is it going to help the world? Perhaps http://www.paulgraham.com/hamming.html http://www.paulgraham.com/hamming.html will make for an interesting read.
Tichy 17y ago
Maybe you are just exhausted?
qohen 17y ago
(1) First of all, definitely see a doctor--depression, anxiety, and/or whatever else you've got can and should be treated. There are some other things worth doing as well that may help alter your mental state for the better: * Get exercise--the brain is part of the body and is affected by its state. Regular exercise can help clear out some of the cobwebs/gloom-and-doom, etc. Exercise connects us to the physical reality that we inhabit. The endorphins may give you a boost as well. Additionally, if you go to a gym, you will interact with other people, which will likely help your mood and, perhaps, can lead to more tangible things, i.e. a job -- that's right, you can actually do social-networking away from a computer! * Get some sunlight. * Eat properly. * Sleep regularly. * Get out of the house during the day. If you want to work on coding, go to a Starbucks or a library or a friend with spare office space or whathaveyou. Just get the hell out of the house. * Get a job--any job. Even a temp job, if necessary--something to get you out of the house, doing something useful and getting compensated for it. A non-technical job might take some of the pressure off you, let you approach technical stuff in a more relaxed way, etc. The social aspect can be useful too. If you get bored, well, that'll give you an incentive to study-up so you can get a more interesting job. And, it'll give you something to talk to your wife about, will bring more money into your household, etc. Also, you may find out about problems that need solving that can be turned into opportunities for consulting, etc. You might even be able to build a company based on solving such problems. If things are really bad where you are, perhaps you can volunteer and get some of these benefits too. Good luck. And, as stated the top, see a doctor.

dfranke 17y ago

Don't bother with the ask-HN post; just see a @#$%! doctor! While a lot less alarming than the TLP, this sounds vaguely like bipolar disorder, but you're not going to get help or a diagnosis on an internet forum, even if anyone who reads your post is a qualified psychologist (which I'm not).

eru 17y ago

> how is it going to help the world? Perhaps http://www.paulgraham.com/hamming.html http://www.paulgraham.com/hamming.html will make for an interesting read.

Tichy 17y ago

Maybe you are just exhausted?

qohen 17y ago

(1) First of all, definitely see a doctor--depression, anxiety, and/or whatever else you've got can and should be treated. There are some other things worth doing as well that may help alter your mental state for the better: * Get exercise--the brain is part of the body and is affected by its state. Regular exercise can help clear out some of the cobwebs/gloom-and-doom, etc. Exercise connects us to the physical reality that we inhabit. The endorphins may give you a boost as well. Additionally, if you go to a gym, you will interact with other people, which will likely help your mood and, perhaps, can lead to more tangible things, i.e. a job -- that's right, you can actually do social-networking away from a computer! * Get some sunlight. * Eat properly. * Sleep regularly. * Get out of the house during the day. If you want to work on coding, go to a Starbucks or a library or a friend with spare office space or whathaveyou. Just get the hell out of the house. * Get a job--any job. Even a temp job, if necessary--something to get you out of the house, doing something useful and getting compensated for it. A non-technical job might take some of the pressure off you, let you approach technical stuff in a more relaxed way, etc. The social aspect can be useful too. If you get bored, well, that'll give you an incentive to study-up so you can get a more interesting job. And, it'll give you something to talk to your wife about, will bring more money into your household, etc. Also, you may find out about problems that need solving that can be turned into opportunities for consulting, etc. You might even be able to build a company based on solving such problems. If things are really bad where you are, perhaps you can volunteer and get some of these benefits too. Good luck. And, as stated the top, see a doctor.