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Grass is always greener on the other side. Living in Hong Kong right now I do miss living in a detached house in suburban Melbourne. A lot. And no, we rarely s

Grass is always greener on the other side. Living in Hong Kong right now I do miss living in a detached house in suburban Melbourne. A lot. And no, we rarely see anyone else in the hallway, and even when we do we don't say hi to each other.

meric 13y ago
You can always start. My grand mother who lives there talks to everyone on the elevator.
- olalonde 13y ago
  Or use Wechat's "look around" feature. I don't recall if it is widely used in Hong Kong but in China I have met a few neighbors this way.
vacri 13y ago
Travelling in the US, this Australian found that Americans are far more likely to start a conversation with a total stranger, apropos of nothing. It's so rare here, but pretty commonplace there. So... just try saying 'hello' - it may just be cultural reticence on your part.
prawn 13y ago
Whenever I pass someone in a quiet street and there's often that awkward moment, I think about the thousands of years we've evolved in smaller tribes and communities. And how poorly we are prepared as animals for purposeless encounters with others.
- VLM 13y ago
  I'm not sure if this makes sense from a scaling perspective looking at the ratio of perimeter to area as size scales up, we are now far more likely to only casually meet members of our own "tribe" than ever before in history. Think of multiple tribes "sharing" a watering hole or a hunting ground or simply plain old common borders. I think we're pretty well prepared for it, as long as we're not at war we seem to have a pretty good ability to be casual, ignore them, yet unconsciously keep an eye on them and if they start acting weird (about to stab us in the back).
  - delluminatus 13y ago
    Cities aren't "tribes," they're far too large. In fact, they're tribe destroyers. From an evolutionary perspective, interaction with other people was meaningful: either you were interacting with a tribesman (basically a member of extended family) or with an outsider. In neither case was "indifference" a desirable response (outsiders evoke competitive fear or interest). In a city you interact with so many different people on a daily basis that almost all human interactions are, by necessity, marked by indifference. We're not designed to simply ignore people. However, more and more that's what we are required to do.
    - VLM 13y ago
      I carefully considered your position and partially agree with some aspects of it. If you are correct, that would imply that over a very long term, the total level of "drama" would be decreasing over time in the average life as city size increases etc. I disagree. Also a decline in actual drama below some instinctual drama-thermostat in the brain would result in increasing levels of interest over the centuries in artificial drama (plays, gossip, TV, social media, maybe religion). I'm not seeing that either. I would theorize that changing technological tools for artificial drama have changed the method of stimulation but not the quantity, although I don't have enough data to know if I'm right or wrong. Its rare in the social sciences to have the chance for a hard numbers science experiment like this, which makes this topic interesting. In theory, for example, over the past generation, interest in traditional cultural plays in China should have exploded upwards thru several orders of magnitude. On the other side, there has been explosive growth (perhaps a fad?) in social media. I would also make a very small correction to your last line: "However, more and more that's what we are required to do." should have two words added: "However, more and more that's what we are required to appear to do." For example, I would theorize based on this that the total amount of "checking out the ladies" is constant among males of a similar hormonal level across all cultures, what varies is the resulting behavior after paying attention (some places catcalling is the law of the land, some places no one whistles, ditto staring, and many other reactions, it only varies in male reaction, not in the quantity of male attention) I would agree that the prevailing behavior in the west is to pretend to ignore, while paying very close attention. Don't make eye contact with the pan handler but keep an eye on him in the unlikely event that he pulls a knife. She wore that so you'd check her out, duh, but not to make you outright stare, duh. Pretending to ignore is somewhat different than actually ignoring.

meric 13y ago

You can always start. My grand mother who lives there talks to everyone on the elevator.

olalonde 13y ago
Or use Wechat's "look around" feature. I don't recall if it is widely used in Hong Kong but in China I have met a few neighbors this way.

vacri 13y ago

Travelling in the US, this Australian found that Americans are far more likely to start a conversation with a total stranger, apropos of nothing. It's so rare here, but pretty commonplace there. So... just try saying 'hello' - it may just be cultural reticence on your part.

prawn 13y ago

Whenever I pass someone in a quiet street and there's often that awkward moment, I think about the thousands of years we've evolved in smaller tribes and communities. And how poorly we are prepared as animals for purposeless encounters with others.

VLM 13y ago
I'm not sure if this makes sense from a scaling perspective looking at the ratio of perimeter to area as size scales up, we are now far more likely to only casually meet members of our own "tribe" than ever before in history. Think of multiple tribes "sharing" a watering hole or a hunting ground or simply plain old common borders. I think we're pretty well prepared for it, as long as we're not at war we seem to have a pretty good ability to be casual, ignore them, yet unconsciously keep an eye on them and if they start acting weird (about to stab us in the back).
- delluminatus 13y ago
  Cities aren't "tribes," they're far too large. In fact, they're tribe destroyers. From an evolutionary perspective, interaction with other people was meaningful: either you were interacting with a tribesman (basically a member of extended family) or with an outsider. In neither case was "indifference" a desirable response (outsiders evoke competitive fear or interest). In a city you interact with so many different people on a daily basis that almost all human interactions are, by necessity, marked by indifference. We're not designed to simply ignore people. However, more and more that's what we are required to do.
  - VLM 13y ago
    I carefully considered your position and partially agree with some aspects of it. If you are correct, that would imply that over a very long term, the total level of "drama" would be decreasing over time in the average life as city size increases etc. I disagree. Also a decline in actual drama below some instinctual drama-thermostat in the brain would result in increasing levels of interest over the centuries in artificial drama (plays, gossip, TV, social media, maybe religion). I'm not seeing that either. I would theorize that changing technological tools for artificial drama have changed the method of stimulation but not the quantity, although I don't have enough data to know if I'm right or wrong. Its rare in the social sciences to have the chance for a hard numbers science experiment like this, which makes this topic interesting. In theory, for example, over the past generation, interest in traditional cultural plays in China should have exploded upwards thru several orders of magnitude. On the other side, there has been explosive growth (perhaps a fad?) in social media. I would also make a very small correction to your last line: "However, more and more that's what we are required to do." should have two words added: "However, more and more that's what we are required to appear to do." For example, I would theorize based on this that the total amount of "checking out the ladies" is constant among males of a similar hormonal level across all cultures, what varies is the resulting behavior after paying attention (some places catcalling is the law of the land, some places no one whistles, ditto staring, and many other reactions, it only varies in male reaction, not in the quantity of male attention) I would agree that the prevailing behavior in the west is to pretend to ignore, while paying very close attention. Don't make eye contact with the pan handler but keep an eye on him in the unlikely event that he pulls a knife. She wore that so you'd check her out, duh, but not to make you outright stare, duh. Pretending to ignore is somewhat different than actually ignoring.