7 ms·

But sometimes (at least in my case) it seems that even if you put in all that effort, most of it just vanishes into some kind of void. You try to stay in touch

But sometimes (at least in my case) it seems that even if you put in all that effort, most of it just vanishes into some kind of void. You try to stay in touch with people, but no matter what you do, they keep drifting away. Which then leads to thinking "Why even bother putting in the energy, if I'm the only one trying". It's a vicious cycle.

LogicX 13y ago
Where do you live? I found living in the northeast, USA -- so many were so focused on things they were told to do: Get education, work hard to start your career... that friendship building was not part of the equation. Very different after I moved to Myrtle Beach, SC last year. 'Southern Hospitality' also helps: Its infectious. And the fact there are so many transplants from the North that everyone is looking to make new friends.
- rickenharp 13y ago
  I live in Germany. And beeing a freelance developer, I get to hop around the country quite a bit, switching cities every few months. What I find interesting is, that I have less of this feeling when I'm in the south here as well (Bavaria). It's easier to connect there. There must be something about the south.
  - speeder 13y ago
    Here in Brazil, that is in the south hemisphere, people are nicer as you move north, toward the equator. Or southmost state instead is famous for having some xenophobic people, separatist movements, and triggering a huge civil war in the past.my guess is that in colder environments people are very distrustful of newcomers because they are a new risk in a already risky environment
    - yoran 13y ago
      I think that's a good observation. People from Northern Europe (Sweden, Norway e.a.) are also known to be "colder" and more reserved than people in the Mediterranean region.
      - justinhj 13y ago
        People in the north of England are said to be warmer and friendlier than those in the south. The north was mostly industrial and rural whilst the south has London's financial district and the Home Counties where the "posh" live. I say was because its a lot more homogenized now and there's less industry.
        philwelch 13y ago
        I think any general north-south variation would have to be over large areas (Brazil, Europe, the US). England is tiny--of course north-south differences are going to be dictated by local factors.
        justinhj 13y ago
        You'd be surprised. It may be a small country but if us highly populated and also has a rich long history
    - dhughes 13y ago
      Could it be culture? I used to know a girl (surname Britz) from Porto Alegre and her family was of German descent and seemed like she had no Brazilian features from what I could see. When I see pictures and video of people in Rio it's like different country.
      - kroger 13y ago
        Brazil is such a big and diverse country that any state seems like a different country. We have influence from Portugal, Holland [1], France, Germany, Italy, Africa, Japan and many other places. Some would argue that there's no such thing as a "Brazilian feature". That's one of the reasons I always have trouble filling the "race" form when I travel. [1] The Dutch actually invaded Brazil for a few years: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Brazil http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Brazil
- 67726e 13y ago
  Weird. I've lived along the SC coast (Charleston & Hilton Head) my entire life and I have never really understood the "Southern Hospitality" term. I suppose living in the most affluent areas of the state could have something to do with it?

LogicX 13y ago

Where do you live? I found living in the northeast, USA -- so many were so focused on things they were told to do: Get education, work hard to start your career... that friendship building was not part of the equation. Very different after I moved to Myrtle Beach, SC last year. 'Southern Hospitality' also helps: Its infectious. And the fact there are so many transplants from the North that everyone is looking to make new friends.

rickenharp 13y ago
I live in Germany. And beeing a freelance developer, I get to hop around the country quite a bit, switching cities every few months. What I find interesting is, that I have less of this feeling when I'm in the south here as well (Bavaria). It's easier to connect there. There must be something about the south.
- speeder 13y ago
  Here in Brazil, that is in the south hemisphere, people are nicer as you move north, toward the equator. Or southmost state instead is famous for having some xenophobic people, separatist movements, and triggering a huge civil war in the past.my guess is that in colder environments people are very distrustful of newcomers because they are a new risk in a already risky environment
  - yoran 13y ago
    I think that's a good observation. People from Northern Europe (Sweden, Norway e.a.) are also known to be "colder" and more reserved than people in the Mediterranean region.
    - justinhj 13y ago
      People in the north of England are said to be warmer and friendlier than those in the south. The north was mostly industrial and rural whilst the south has London's financial district and the Home Counties where the "posh" live. I say was because its a lot more homogenized now and there's less industry.
      - philwelch 13y ago
        I think any general north-south variation would have to be over large areas (Brazil, Europe, the US). England is tiny--of course north-south differences are going to be dictated by local factors.
        justinhj 13y ago
        You'd be surprised. It may be a small country but if us highly populated and also has a rich long history
  - dhughes 13y ago
    Could it be culture? I used to know a girl (surname Britz) from Porto Alegre and her family was of German descent and seemed like she had no Brazilian features from what I could see. When I see pictures and video of people in Rio it's like different country.
    - kroger 13y ago
      Brazil is such a big and diverse country that any state seems like a different country. We have influence from Portugal, Holland [1], France, Germany, Italy, Africa, Japan and many other places. Some would argue that there's no such thing as a "Brazilian feature". That's one of the reasons I always have trouble filling the "race" form when I travel. [1] The Dutch actually invaded Brazil for a few years: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Brazil http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Brazil
67726e 13y ago
Weird. I've lived along the SC coast (Charleston & Hilton Head) my entire life and I have never really understood the "Southern Hospitality" term. I suppose living in the most affluent areas of the state could have something to do with it?