Haskell—after spending a great deal of effort setting up various layers of foot-shooting-proof prophylactics you find yourself in a situation where the only rea

Haskell—after spending a great deal of effort setting up various layers of foot-shooting-proof prophylactics you find yourself in a situation where the only reasonable way to start walking is to go ahead and shoot yourself in the foot anyway. You do so and are able to basically walk except somewhat awkwardly thanks to your now bleeding foot. Then you go online and are helpfully told that what you really needed was a an abstract shoe, that bleeding feet are prone to infection and impurities, and if you had only read this one research paper there's a 2-liner in there showing you how to program Usain Bolt with wings.