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Hi beat. You are probably right and this is NOT a good FIRST question. BUT... it is a great question (that is seldomly asked) for later in the conversation. And

Hi beat. You are probably right and this is NOT a good FIRST question. BUT... it is a great question (that is seldomly asked) for later in the conversation. And of course you should be able/willing to follow through. (also see my other answer here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784)

beat 13y ago
It's certainly a useful question. But a more focused offer of help on a specific issue seems to be a more useful approach, one that moves the conversation forward rather than stopping it in its tracks. If someone asked me that question cold when I first met them, I'd probably blink, and then ask if they have about $500,000 they'd like to invest for a seed round. Then I'd go right into my elevator pitch and see if I could get a genuinely useful level of interest and potential help. Here's what's bugging me about this approach, I think... it's about initiative (in the gaming sense, not the motivation sense) and control over the conversation. A straight-up "How can I help you?" from a stranger, without context, throws the conversational balance off severely. My first thought would be either "Yeah, right", or "What's the catch?" I certainly don't give open-ended help to people, and I don't expect them to do it for me. Heck, I don't give my wife or children open-ended help! Generosity and paying forward are virtues, but failure to establish boundaries is not. Keep the end goal in mind - a mutually beneficial business exchange, and the groundwork for future exchanges. Questions are just a means to this end. Laying groundwork is a matter of learning trust, boundaries, and capabilities. When seeking help, we should try to understand what someone can do for us, what they will do for us, how likely they are to do it, and what their expectations are in return. So the conversation should be about groundwork.

beat 13y ago

It's certainly a useful question. But a more focused offer of help on a specific issue seems to be a more useful approach, one that moves the conversation forward rather than stopping it in its tracks. If someone asked me that question cold when I first met them, I'd probably blink, and then ask if they have about $500,000 they'd like to invest for a seed round. Then I'd go right into my elevator pitch and see if I could get a genuinely useful level of interest and potential help. Here's what's bugging me about this approach, I think... it's about initiative (in the gaming sense, not the motivation sense) and control over the conversation. A straight-up "How can I help you?" from a stranger, without context, throws the conversational balance off severely. My first thought would be either "Yeah, right", or "What's the catch?" I certainly don't give open-ended help to people, and I don't expect them to do it for me. Heck, I don't give my wife or children open-ended help! Generosity and paying forward are virtues, but failure to establish boundaries is not. Keep the end goal in mind - a mutually beneficial business exchange, and the groundwork for future exchanges. Questions are just a means to this end. Laying groundwork is a matter of learning trust, boundaries, and capabilities. When seeking help, we should try to understand what someone can do for us, what they will do for us, how likely they are to do it, and what their expectations are in return. So the conversation should be about groundwork.