3 ms·

Funny, when I saw the title, that was my first thought. But the deeper, better first question is "What are you working on?" Give them a chance to make their el

by beat 13y ago

Funny, when I saw the title, that was my first thought. But the deeper, better first question is "What are you working on?" Give them a chance to make their elevator pitch, then start asking questions. There's a good chance the "How can I help you?" can turn into "I think I could help you with ${PROBLEM}..." But to get there, you need to figure out what their pain points are, and what you can actually do about them. This is no different than figuring out your own customers, really. And the step beyond this is to actually do something that really helps them. Because if you can truly help someone, you'll make a lasting impression, something that they will want to pay back, with interest.

beat 13y ago
And keep in mind that simply asking them what they're working on is a favor, at the bootstrapping level. It gives them a chance to make (and refine) their pitch, and talk about the thing they really, really love.
itengelhardt 13y ago
Hi beat. You are probably right and this is NOT a good FIRST question. BUT... it is a great question (that is seldomly asked) for later in the conversation. And of course you should be able/willing to follow through. (also see my other answer here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784)
- beat 13y ago
  It's certainly a useful question. But a more focused offer of help on a specific issue seems to be a more useful approach, one that moves the conversation forward rather than stopping it in its tracks. If someone asked me that question cold when I first met them, I'd probably blink, and then ask if they have about $500,000 they'd like to invest for a seed round. Then I'd go right into my elevator pitch and see if I could get a genuinely useful level of interest and potential help. Here's what's bugging me about this approach, I think... it's about initiative (in the gaming sense, not the motivation sense) and control over the conversation. A straight-up "How can I help you?" from a stranger, without context, throws the conversational balance off severely. My first thought would be either "Yeah, right", or "What's the catch?" I certainly don't give open-ended help to people, and I don't expect them to do it for me. Heck, I don't give my wife or children open-ended help! Generosity and paying forward are virtues, but failure to establish boundaries is not. Keep the end goal in mind - a mutually beneficial business exchange, and the groundwork for future exchanges. Questions are just a means to this end. Laying groundwork is a matter of learning trust, boundaries, and capabilities. When seeking help, we should try to understand what someone can do for us, what they will do for us, how likely they are to do it, and what their expectations are in return. So the conversation should be about groundwork.

by beat 13y ago

beat 13y ago

And keep in mind that simply asking them what they're working on is a favor, at the bootstrapping level. It gives them a chance to make (and refine) their pitch, and talk about the thing they really, really love.

itengelhardt 13y ago

Hi beat. You are probably right and this is NOT a good FIRST question. BUT... it is a great question (that is seldomly asked) for later in the conversation. And of course you should be able/willing to follow through. (also see my other answer here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784)

beat 13y ago
It's certainly a useful question. But a more focused offer of help on a specific issue seems to be a more useful approach, one that moves the conversation forward rather than stopping it in its tracks. If someone asked me that question cold when I first met them, I'd probably blink, and then ask if they have about $500,000 they'd like to invest for a seed round. Then I'd go right into my elevator pitch and see if I could get a genuinely useful level of interest and potential help. Here's what's bugging me about this approach, I think... it's about initiative (in the gaming sense, not the motivation sense) and control over the conversation. A straight-up "How can I help you?" from a stranger, without context, throws the conversational balance off severely. My first thought would be either "Yeah, right", or "What's the catch?" I certainly don't give open-ended help to people, and I don't expect them to do it for me. Heck, I don't give my wife or children open-ended help! Generosity and paying forward are virtues, but failure to establish boundaries is not. Keep the end goal in mind - a mutually beneficial business exchange, and the groundwork for future exchanges. Questions are just a means to this end. Laying groundwork is a matter of learning trust, boundaries, and capabilities. When seeking help, we should try to understand what someone can do for us, what they will do for us, how likely they are to do it, and what their expectations are in return. So the conversation should be about groundwork.