4 ms·

I told you too much already. :-) Several clever grammars were written. If you want any more, you have to buy Chrysler.

nostrademons 19y ago
Nowadays, that doesn't seem all that hard... ;-)
SwellJoe 19y ago
I'm afraid Chrysler poisoned me as a customer before I was even old enough to drive. My folks owned a couple of Chrysler products that were the worst vehicles I've ever dealt with: my mom's Dodge van once stopped steering while she was driving...yeah, the steering wheel just spun right around. On another occasion the brakes simply stopped working, pedal to the floor and nothing happened. Those are seriously dangerous catastrophic failures in dangerous circumstances and without warning. The engine also had to be entirely replaced within weeks of the brand new vans purchase, but at least no one was in danger in that case. I got to work on them quite a bit growing up--they at least gave me lots of experience fixing things. But it'll take another generation before folks who experienced Chrysler in the 80's and 90's, like me, start buying Chrysler products again...and then only if they are actually making good cars now (which I'm not confident of). I'm afraid I've been well-trained to buy only Japanese cars. I've had two fantastic Nissans in the 20 years I've been driving, and one mediocre (but never broke in dangerous ways or left me stranded--it just had some annoying quirks) Toyota...I like to drive my cars into the ground, and the ground comes at me way too fast with American cars, and Chrysler cars in particular. Sorry, I know you weren't looking for a rip on Chrysler, but suggesting I buy a Chrysler product sent me reeling into the past for a moment...I could smell the burning oil, feel the claustrophobia of laying on concrete under a jacked up minivan, and everything. I just thought I'd share my pain with you. ;-)
- startupcrazy 19y ago
  I wasn't suggesting you buy a Chrysler product. I was suggesting you buy Chrysler. You get it all, along with 5000 lines of very clever Java code that they probably couldn't even find if they wanted to.
  - SwellJoe 19y ago
    Heheheh! Much better suggestion. Maybe I could make Chrysler profitable. I've got forty-one crisp American dollars in my wallet. Who do I talk to? ;-)
    - nostrademons 19y ago
      Cerberus. They just bought it though; wait a couple years and they may reconsider. BTW, those of us who follow the financial news are laughing because Daimler (the previous owner) literally paid Cerberus to take Chrysler off its hands. The purchase price was nominally $7.4B, but it was structured as an investment into Chrysler itself. In other words, Cerberus "bought" Chrysler by putting cash into a business it now owns, effectively paying itself. In addition to that, Daimler paid Cerberus $650M in cash. Yes, that's the seller giving money to the buyer. The reason for this is that Chrysler is currently worth less than nothing. Daimler's earnings are up $1.5B since getting rid of it, and Cerberus took on Chrysler's $18B of pension obligations. Cerberus probably figures that it can renegotiate with the UAW and default on Chrysler's pension plan, which'll help return it to profitability. Daimler couldn't do this because its profitable Mercedes division was effectively subsidizing workers in Detroit, costing it bargaining power in any attempt to stiff the unions.
      - startupcrazy 19y ago
        Chrysler is currently worth less than nothing, but Chrysler Financial has real value. Basically, they acquired the unfunded liability of Chrysler as the price of Chrysler Financial. Chrysler Financial may be work 18B of pension obligations to Cerberus, especially if they get synergy with GMAC.
    - Agathos 19y ago
      Put your money away. As I understand it the last people to "buy" Chrysler got paid to haul it away. Edit: curses, beaten by 2 minutes. And the other post brings the details, too.
- comatose_kid 19y ago
  I feel your pain. My parents owned a dodge Omni hatchback. My mom thought that the best thing about it was that 'Omni' started with 'Om' (she is Hindu). Om? The car provided little peace with its uneven engine and body exquisitely designed to rust more efficiently than the competition. In an incomprehensible display of customer loyalty, my parents next purchase was a 4 door dodge Aspen. This car had a 6 cylinder engine which produced a hamster-threatening 90 horsepower. The best thing about this car was the horrible white paint which perfectly obscured the bird crap... The design and production of these cars ranks as the worst example of capital deployment in American corporate history. I mean, efforts like this turned off an entire generation of customers.

Nowadays, that doesn't seem all that hard... ;-)

I'm afraid Chrysler poisoned me as a customer before I was even old enough to drive. My folks owned a couple of Chrysler products that were the worst vehicles I've ever dealt with: my mom's Dodge van once stopped steering while she was driving...yeah, the steering wheel just spun right around. On another occasion the brakes simply stopped working, pedal to the floor and nothing happened. Those are seriously dangerous catastrophic failures in dangerous circumstances and without warning. The engine also had to be entirely replaced within weeks of the brand new vans purchase, but at least no one was in danger in that case. I got to work on them quite a bit growing up--they at least gave me lots of experience fixing things. But it'll take another generation before folks who experienced Chrysler in the 80's and 90's, like me, start buying Chrysler products again...and then only if they are actually making good cars now (which I'm not confident of). I'm afraid I've been well-trained to buy only Japanese cars. I've had two fantastic Nissans in the 20 years I've been driving, and one mediocre (but never broke in dangerous ways or left me stranded--it just had some annoying quirks) Toyota...I like to drive my cars into the ground, and the ground comes at me way too fast with American cars, and Chrysler cars in particular. Sorry, I know you weren't looking for a rip on Chrysler, but suggesting I buy a Chrysler product sent me reeling into the past for a moment...I could smell the burning oil, feel the claustrophobia of laying on concrete under a jacked up minivan, and everything. I just thought I'd share my pain with you. ;-)

startupcrazy 19y ago
I wasn't suggesting you buy a Chrysler product. I was suggesting you buy Chrysler. You get it all, along with 5000 lines of very clever Java code that they probably couldn't even find if they wanted to.
- SwellJoe 19y ago
  Heheheh! Much better suggestion. Maybe I could make Chrysler profitable. I've got forty-one crisp American dollars in my wallet. Who do I talk to? ;-)
  - nostrademons 19y ago
    Cerberus. They just bought it though; wait a couple years and they may reconsider. BTW, those of us who follow the financial news are laughing because Daimler (the previous owner) literally paid Cerberus to take Chrysler off its hands. The purchase price was nominally $7.4B, but it was structured as an investment into Chrysler itself. In other words, Cerberus "bought" Chrysler by putting cash into a business it now owns, effectively paying itself. In addition to that, Daimler paid Cerberus $650M in cash. Yes, that's the seller giving money to the buyer. The reason for this is that Chrysler is currently worth less than nothing. Daimler's earnings are up $1.5B since getting rid of it, and Cerberus took on Chrysler's $18B of pension obligations. Cerberus probably figures that it can renegotiate with the UAW and default on Chrysler's pension plan, which'll help return it to profitability. Daimler couldn't do this because its profitable Mercedes division was effectively subsidizing workers in Detroit, costing it bargaining power in any attempt to stiff the unions.
    - startupcrazy 19y ago
      Chrysler is currently worth less than nothing, but Chrysler Financial has real value. Basically, they acquired the unfunded liability of Chrysler as the price of Chrysler Financial. Chrysler Financial may be work 18B of pension obligations to Cerberus, especially if they get synergy with GMAC.
  - Agathos 19y ago
    Put your money away. As I understand it the last people to "buy" Chrysler got paid to haul it away. Edit: curses, beaten by 2 minutes. And the other post brings the details, too.
comatose_kid 19y ago
I feel your pain. My parents owned a dodge Omni hatchback. My mom thought that the best thing about it was that 'Omni' started with 'Om' (she is Hindu). Om? The car provided little peace with its uneven engine and body exquisitely designed to rust more efficiently than the competition. In an incomprehensible display of customer loyalty, my parents next purchase was a 4 door dodge Aspen. This car had a 6 cylinder engine which produced a hamster-threatening 90 horsepower. The best thing about this car was the horrible white paint which perfectly obscured the bird crap... The design and production of these cars ranks as the worst example of capital deployment in American corporate history. I mean, efforts like this turned off an entire generation of customers.