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I know it's easy to say this is for introverts, but this applies to everybody. Public speaking is hard: it's not natural to get up in front of a group of people

I know it's easy to say this is for introverts, but this applies to everybody. Public speaking is hard: it's not natural to get up in front of a group of people who aren't going to talk back, and talk for far longer than you'd ever have to in conversation. I'm a consummate extrovert, and I recently started doing more public speaking, both in front of groups of 20-60 and webinar-style, over the phone with 1-5 people. Both were terrifying, and it still makes me nervous. I've been doing it for about a year, and I'm just now starting to overcome the "Man, I hope something comes up and we have to cancel" feeling. Practice is the only way to get comfortable, and practice will make you better.

dshipper 13y ago
"Practice is the only way to get comfortable, and practice will make you better." Totally agree with this.
vidarh 13y ago
Not only does it apply to everybody, but I strongly believe it has nothing to do with whether or not you're an introvert. I find public speaking "easy". As a teenager I spent a couple of weeks in front of rowdy groups of hundreds of school students during school election debates for a fringe party that made me an ideal candidate for mockery. Didn't phase me. I held the commencement speech at my university my first year in front of thousands of students and TV crews, and people couldn't believe how relaxed I was, but I didn't understand why there was anything to be nervous about; I knew the manuscript and was after all just going to stand there and deliver it. I've spoken to quite a few very varied large groups of people. I don't react to that at all. Smalltalk with strangers, on the other hand, takes a lot out of me. It's not just that it triggers anxieties in some situations, but even when it doesn't, it is exhausting: I have to concentrate much more to actually listen and take part in conversations that happens for "social reasons" as opposed to about specific subjects, as otherwise I miss cues etc. or simply will go silent. I don't mind getting up in front of a crowd of any size without a manuscript and deliver my message, even if I know it'll be unpopular, but if I'm in a store, for example, I'd rather spend a couple of extra minutes looking around rather than asking someone who works there to help me find something, because one on one interactions with strangers are draining. I even have to consciously avoid taking steps to "bypass" people I only know vaguely but who I expect might want to talk to me as if I just go on "autopilot" I'll pick the route that leads to the least amount of words exchanged. Perhaps the "aren't going to talk back" part is what makes public speaking feel easier for me, even when they actually do. To me, those two things are entirely separate. I'm sure there are lots of introverts that also have problems with public speaking, but conversely I know plenty of introverts other than myself who doesn't have a problem with public speaking, and lots of extroverts who do.
- chcleaves 13y ago
  Agreed - some people who think they are good at public speaking are in fact just good at reciting their notes or slides verbatum (big pet peeve). It's one thing to say practice helps - its more of a consistency thing. You have to get used to it and get into a routine of speaking in front of DIFFERENT people.
- howeyc 13y ago
  I have a very similar experience as you. Public speaking doesn't phase me, but the one on one exchanges with strangers or people I rarely interact with are exhausting. I've thought that perhaps it's because the public speaking is more defined. Either in topic or format. When public speaking on a particular subject I'm more concerned with whether or not the audience is getting the material than I am about whether or not they're interested in me as a individual, or their critiques of my performance ability. With on-one-one conversations the topics can meander anywhere and maintaining interest can be tiring if there are discussions on topics I frankly couldn't care less about.
- arkades 13y ago
  I'm in much the same position. I'm very much an introvert, and find small-group smalltalk to be exhausting, difficult, and often results in flubs. In contrast, I love public speaking, be it on something defined or extemporaneous. It's just so much easier: you concentrate mostly on your thoughts and contributions from the crowd some in small, controllable bursts. It's much less dynamic than actually conducting a conversation with someone.
- pessimizer 13y ago
  I agree with this. Introvert/extrovert is another one of those stupid linear continuums (continuua?) that people get socially diagnosed into that don't particularly explain, just label. As a painfully shy person who didn't have any problem being a frontman for touring bands for years, comfort and discomfort with social situations is a subject more complicated than yes you are or no you aren't.
  - saraid216 13y ago

dshipper 13y ago

"Practice is the only way to get comfortable, and practice will make you better." Totally agree with this.

vidarh 13y ago

Not only does it apply to everybody, but I strongly believe it has nothing to do with whether or not you're an introvert. I find public speaking "easy". As a teenager I spent a couple of weeks in front of rowdy groups of hundreds of school students during school election debates for a fringe party that made me an ideal candidate for mockery. Didn't phase me. I held the commencement speech at my university my first year in front of thousands of students and TV crews, and people couldn't believe how relaxed I was, but I didn't understand why there was anything to be nervous about; I knew the manuscript and was after all just going to stand there and deliver it. I've spoken to quite a few very varied large groups of people. I don't react to that at all. Smalltalk with strangers, on the other hand, takes a lot out of me. It's not just that it triggers anxieties in some situations, but even when it doesn't, it is exhausting: I have to concentrate much more to actually listen and take part in conversations that happens for "social reasons" as opposed to about specific subjects, as otherwise I miss cues etc. or simply will go silent. I don't mind getting up in front of a crowd of any size without a manuscript and deliver my message, even if I know it'll be unpopular, but if I'm in a store, for example, I'd rather spend a couple of extra minutes looking around rather than asking someone who works there to help me find something, because one on one interactions with strangers are draining. I even have to consciously avoid taking steps to "bypass" people I only know vaguely but who I expect might want to talk to me as if I just go on "autopilot" I'll pick the route that leads to the least amount of words exchanged. Perhaps the "aren't going to talk back" part is what makes public speaking feel easier for me, even when they actually do. To me, those two things are entirely separate. I'm sure there are lots of introverts that also have problems with public speaking, but conversely I know plenty of introverts other than myself who doesn't have a problem with public speaking, and lots of extroverts who do.

chcleaves 13y ago
Agreed - some people who think they are good at public speaking are in fact just good at reciting their notes or slides verbatum (big pet peeve). It's one thing to say practice helps - its more of a consistency thing. You have to get used to it and get into a routine of speaking in front of DIFFERENT people.
howeyc 13y ago
I have a very similar experience as you. Public speaking doesn't phase me, but the one on one exchanges with strangers or people I rarely interact with are exhausting. I've thought that perhaps it's because the public speaking is more defined. Either in topic or format. When public speaking on a particular subject I'm more concerned with whether or not the audience is getting the material than I am about whether or not they're interested in me as a individual, or their critiques of my performance ability. With on-one-one conversations the topics can meander anywhere and maintaining interest can be tiring if there are discussions on topics I frankly couldn't care less about.
arkades 13y ago
I'm in much the same position. I'm very much an introvert, and find small-group smalltalk to be exhausting, difficult, and often results in flubs. In contrast, I love public speaking, be it on something defined or extemporaneous. It's just so much easier: you concentrate mostly on your thoughts and contributions from the crowd some in small, controllable bursts. It's much less dynamic than actually conducting a conversation with someone.
pessimizer 13y ago
I agree with this. Introvert/extrovert is another one of those stupid linear continuums (continuua?) that people get socially diagnosed into that don't particularly explain, just label. As a painfully shy person who didn't have any problem being a frontman for touring bands for years, comfort and discomfort with social situations is a subject more complicated than yes you are or no you aren't.
- saraid216 13y ago