6 ms·

My 32-year-old co-founder has a brain tumor

48 points by ychw 13y ago

mynameisme 13y ago
Pretty gross that you're using your friend's brain tumor to pimp your startup.
- mbuss 13y ago
  Agreed. Hard to believe someone would do this.
  - chrischen 13y ago
    Seriously? And which one of you bothered to ask the cancer guy what he thought? Stop judging from a distance, or at least get some binoculars.
  - yummyfajitas 13y ago
    If I had a brain tumor I'd want my friend/cofounder to use it to pimp our startup. If she can move our business forward while I'm ill, that's wonderful for both of us.
    - coldtea 13y ago
      >If I had a brain tumor I'd want my friend/cofounder to use it to pimp our startup. Even if my ill friend/cofounder "wanted" that (which amounts to "was ok with it"), I still wouldn't do it. Being human is more important than pimping a company for the big cash out.
      - true_religion 13y ago
        I think that implying that people not following your viewport are not 'human' is a pretty far leap...
    - anigbrowl 13y ago
      Brain tumors are exactly the sort of thing that tend to make people re-evaluate your priorities, so I'm not sure how good of a guide your unworried self is to a situation like that. Besides that, there's also the possibility that pimping it the wrong way will put people off dealing with the startup. That seems to be the majority response here, and the article also made a strong negative impresion on me. Now, on the one hand I want the startup to succeed since his co-founder is either facing massive medical costs for all the neurosurgery (at worst) or a massive increase in health insurance premiums (at best). On the other I don't like being manipulated into feeling I should use/support this firm because of my natural sympathy for anyone who has brain cancer.
  - mathgladiator 13y ago
    > Agreed. Hard to believe someone would do this. If I had a cancer with kids, then I would want my business partner to pimp the start-up as much as possible to raise the value of my shares for my family.
- graeme 13y ago
  Semi-related question: is the word gross being redefined? I only remember it being used for something physically revolting. Lately, I've seen it used to mean "unseemingly, icky in the non-physical sense, a morally bad act". Anyone else seen this, or know what segments are driving the redefinition? Urban dictionary stuck to old sense, but this is about the fifth time I've seen it used this way.
  - mathgladiator 13y ago
    I think the right word is morbid.
  - saraid216 13y ago
    Language drift. "physical revulsion" -> "physical revulsion at a morally bad act" -> "morally bad act"
terabytest 13y ago
You kind of make it sound as if his brain tumor is more of an annoyance to you and your company than to him.
- chasing 13y ago
  I agree. Seems like the response went no deeper than: "Hire some (possibly unpaid, illegal) interns! Stop having time-consuming meetings!" What about the truly hard questions this might bring up? How do you plan for the possible long-term absence of a founder without ruining their hope of beating their disease? What happens to the equity of a founder who passes? Is this something you need to discuss with them, along the lines of a will, to get straightened out? How do you deal with employees who might also be experiencing emotional grief over the situation? Are there situations where you need to slow the growth of the company so people can deal with their personal reactions to a situation like this? How do you cope with the dual emotional roller-coasters of running a start-up and having a friend on death's door? Any of these would be interesting questions to hear responses to. Instead, this article chooses to take the shallowest route possible and actually treat the horror of cancer more like your co-founder got the flu and was out for a week or two...
- pawn 13y ago
  I think you're being a bit hard on him. I read the post and saw a guy who's having a hard time emotionally but decided to do keep the company going to honor his friend, and wrote this post to help others going through a similar experience. Chances are, if he hadn't included the bit about how he's handling his startup, you wouldn't be reading it here.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
badclient 13y ago
The part about hiring a bunch of interns sounds weird. Were they getting paid?
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
mililani 13y ago
I'm 39 and dealing with my own cancer struggles. It's tough. Reading about someone else around my age deal with it helps, though.
- dome82 13y ago
  Wish you to get well soon!
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
frik 13y ago
The co-founder with the tumor has his own blog, read this as well: http://ronniecastro.me/40-percent-chance-tumor-grows/ http://ronniecastro.me/40-percent-chance-tumor-grows/ (incl. photos). Good luck
- ahn3 13y ago
  I see myself in his post. I was diagnosed in my 20s. I have been through a very similar experience. If the blog author reads this: eat. Then eat some more. I cannot stress this enough. Having some disposable energy (fat) stored on you makes facing a major illness _less hard_. Myself, I lost 15kg going through chemo and radiation therapy. You are already skinny... While you eat, spend quality time with your loved ones. You will never regret it. You have a beautiful daughter and a lovely family. In my experience, the two most useful things during treatment are emotional and physical support from your family and friends, and therapy with a psychologist. Be strong and God be with you.
- victorhn 13y ago
  And here is a donation page (i found the link on the blogpost http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-cancer/ http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-c...) https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/yrv2/we-love-ron https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/yrv2/we-love-ron
  - biot 13y ago
    It seems odd that there's a donation page for a guy who had a $60M exit previously, assuming I understood the article.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- anigbrowl 13y ago
  This is considerably more interesting to me, thanks.
reeses 13y ago
I'd recommend that commenters simmer down on the emotional intensity and put away the torches and pitchforks. This is relevant to any startup. Yes, brain cancer is an extreme case, but just as it's important to select the right cofounder, having something unexpected or unplanned happen to your cofounder is a situation that has to be handled. It could be something as awful as brain cancer[1], as joyous as a new baby or as horrifying as discovering that the new baby has a hole in his heart, or something that is both positive and negative, such as falling in love with someone who wants or needs to move away from your business location. Key man insurance can help, but notes on experiences such as this are helpful as well. It's easy to pile onto the author as an insensitive schmuck because you are not in that position. We can't directly relate to his situation, so we can judge all we like without fear of hypocrisy. However, at some point, if you are lucky enough to grow a company and you are responsible for the livelihood of your employees, a key member of the team will have an 'availability-limiting event' that will force you to make tough decisions. Having articles such as this help. Not all the advice is immediately useful ("hire a bunch of interns") but dropping meetings and intensifying focus is good. Keeping in mind,"How should I handle this so that I don't leave this in a mess for X?" is good as well, because it assumes that X will be back. If this happens to you, know that you have google/duckduck/bing fodder to look for help in your moment of panic. Know that while it's one thing to think,"I have cancer and I have to figure out what to do with my startup," for which you can find a number of bits of advice, it's another to be affected as a partner. Know also that you should make sure that you cross-train enough with your cofounder so that neither of you is trying to do a brain dump to the other in the back of an ambulance while your loved ones are terrified. Finally, I would find it hard to believe that the author posted this without his partner's consent. It sounds as if they've gotten through the immediate crisis with the tumor and he is probably at least partially re-involved with the company.[2] Take posts such as this at face value. Have compassion. [1] Fuck cancer. [2] Chemo is a bastard; see: [1]
- zrail 13y ago
  Chemo really is an awful thing to put a body through. Toward the end of my treatment I was able to scroll through email once a day before having to go back to bed. I wrote about my recent and ongoing experiences with cancer on my blog awhile back [1]. Your footnotes are a a pretty accurate summation. [1]: https://www.petekeen.net/cancer https://www.petekeen.net/cancer
kmfrk 13y ago
While I really don't like the framing of the story, it brings up an important point way too many people in the tech and start-up bubble forget: some things are just out of your control, and bad luck is a real thing that happens to good people. Managing your life and start-up is not something trivially easy you can pin-point with life hacks and inspirational catchphrases. Some people don't manage to achieve something, because they just didn't have the luck of the draw. And we shouldn't blame them for that. I see this very rambling article as a founder dealing with something innately absurd, and if there is something a self-proclaimed hacker doesn't like, it's a deprivation of control and micromanagement. To some, it's cognitive dissonance at work. And regardless of the tone of the article, I am very grateful that the author chose to deal with this in public. And don't tell me the American health care system doesn't get in the way of earning a decent living, as an employer and employee. While this article is penned in a way I don't like that much, the tech press need to get out of their bubble and write more articles about how real problems affect real people, some of whom work at start-ups, and that being an entrepreneurs doesn't render you immune to those problems. It's only a matter of time before someone posts on Medium about "hacking their cancer" or some bullshit, but it'd be great if we took more time to understand that issues like health, health care costs, discrimination, harassment, suicidal ideation, and other problems are things that get in the way, not just of start-ups, but a dignified existence as a human being.
- anigbrowl 13y ago
  You raise an important point here. One big unanswered question for me while I was reading this was where the (presumably massive) bills for the oncology/neurosurgery were going, and to what extent their payment depended on the success of the startup. EDIT: sure enough, his insurance company is doing its best not to pay for his radiotherapy: http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-cancer/ http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-c... All I can say is hang in there :-/
- colmvp 13y ago
  "And don't tell me the American health care system doesn't get in the way of earning a decent living, as an employer and employee." As a person who has been rejected for having a pre-existing condition, this statement rings true. I need medicine for a condition I was born with, fuck me right?
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
bdcravens 13y ago
I don't have cancer, though I've lost those close to me. I do have a (currently) incurable disease. (I do have an extremely mild case, I must admiit) Many my age with CF are too busy taking medicine and staying alive to do much with a career. Others are on the verge of needing transplants. Others still have been gone a long time. I pray of course for the best, but one day, it might get me. I have things I'm passionate about. My hope would be that those around me help me fulfill my visions and goals in life, through my struggles and recovery. As the article is written, this wasn't something the cofounder was forced into, but something he jumped into with plenty of options and I'll presume they are passionate about.
rambojohnson 13y ago
the "seriously?" bit irritated me for some reason. yes, it's serious. yes, life is bigger than your startup.
w3pm 13y ago
The intern bit is disturbing to me. The trouble is, he can't actually believe this is the best decision for these kids to make. He himself started a business while still in school; he didn't slave away for someone else as "low cost" labor. His own experience tells him that the best "career stepping stone" is to create things, with friends, for yourselves. Any truly "wicked smart" kids shouldn't be making this decision and he's not doing them any favors by encouraging it. In my own experience, offering a fairly-paid internship (ie, what they would be making as a junior full-time employee), of a few months, is a great way to evaluate a potential hire down the road. Do I expect useful work to come out of these few months and build a business plan around it? Not really, and I believe it's dishonest to do so.
- mathgladiator 13y ago
  To be fair to the interns, it is resume filler. I do, however, feel very sorry for the interns who are seniors.
- alistairSH 13y ago
  I'll give the benefit of the doubt, and assume "low cost labor" is something close to "first year employee wages". And, not every smart kid is cut out for starting a business. I wasn't. Too risk averse. I like to build software, I'm pretty good at it, but much prefer the comfort of a salary.
thomasfoster96 13y ago
Unfortunately, I've known a few great people, people I was very close to, to lose a few of what could have been some really productive years due to these sorts of things. Brain tumours are reasonably rare but they are also unpredictable and turn up at any moment. Anyway, at least in Australia we have Medicare for everyone, which should soon cover trips to the dentist, as well as the DisabilityCare scheme that's rolling out for people who have acquired or were born with a disability. Oh, and madatory superannnuation. Ya'll welcome to move here. You'll probably like it here.

48 points by ychw 13y ago

mynameisme 13y ago

Pretty gross that you're using your friend's brain tumor to pimp your startup.

mbuss 13y ago
Agreed. Hard to believe someone would do this.
- chrischen 13y ago
  Seriously? And which one of you bothered to ask the cancer guy what he thought? Stop judging from a distance, or at least get some binoculars.
- yummyfajitas 13y ago
  If I had a brain tumor I'd want my friend/cofounder to use it to pimp our startup. If she can move our business forward while I'm ill, that's wonderful for both of us.
  - coldtea 13y ago
    >If I had a brain tumor I'd want my friend/cofounder to use it to pimp our startup. Even if my ill friend/cofounder "wanted" that (which amounts to "was ok with it"), I still wouldn't do it. Being human is more important than pimping a company for the big cash out.
    - true_religion 13y ago
      I think that implying that people not following your viewport are not 'human' is a pretty far leap...
  - anigbrowl 13y ago
    Brain tumors are exactly the sort of thing that tend to make people re-evaluate your priorities, so I'm not sure how good of a guide your unworried self is to a situation like that. Besides that, there's also the possibility that pimping it the wrong way will put people off dealing with the startup. That seems to be the majority response here, and the article also made a strong negative impresion on me. Now, on the one hand I want the startup to succeed since his co-founder is either facing massive medical costs for all the neurosurgery (at worst) or a massive increase in health insurance premiums (at best). On the other I don't like being manipulated into feeling I should use/support this firm because of my natural sympathy for anyone who has brain cancer.
- mathgladiator 13y ago
  > Agreed. Hard to believe someone would do this. If I had a cancer with kids, then I would want my business partner to pimp the start-up as much as possible to raise the value of my shares for my family.
graeme 13y ago
Semi-related question: is the word gross being redefined? I only remember it being used for something physically revolting. Lately, I've seen it used to mean "unseemingly, icky in the non-physical sense, a morally bad act". Anyone else seen this, or know what segments are driving the redefinition? Urban dictionary stuck to old sense, but this is about the fifth time I've seen it used this way.
- mathgladiator 13y ago
  I think the right word is morbid.
- saraid216 13y ago
  Language drift. "physical revulsion" -> "physical revulsion at a morally bad act" -> "morally bad act"

terabytest 13y ago

You kind of make it sound as if his brain tumor is more of an annoyance to you and your company than to him.

chasing 13y ago
I agree. Seems like the response went no deeper than: "Hire some (possibly unpaid, illegal) interns! Stop having time-consuming meetings!" What about the truly hard questions this might bring up? How do you plan for the possible long-term absence of a founder without ruining their hope of beating their disease? What happens to the equity of a founder who passes? Is this something you need to discuss with them, along the lines of a will, to get straightened out? How do you deal with employees who might also be experiencing emotional grief over the situation? Are there situations where you need to slow the growth of the company so people can deal with their personal reactions to a situation like this? How do you cope with the dual emotional roller-coasters of running a start-up and having a friend on death's door? Any of these would be interesting questions to hear responses to. Instead, this article chooses to take the shallowest route possible and actually treat the horror of cancer more like your co-founder got the flu and was out for a week or two...
pawn 13y ago
I think you're being a bit hard on him. I read the post and saw a guy who's having a hard time emotionally but decided to do keep the company going to honor his friend, and wrote this post to help others going through a similar experience. Chances are, if he hadn't included the bit about how he's handling his startup, you wouldn't be reading it here.

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

badclient 13y ago

The part about hiring a bunch of interns sounds weird. Were they getting paid?

deleted 13y ago
[deleted]

mililani 13y ago

I'm 39 and dealing with my own cancer struggles. It's tough. Reading about someone else around my age deal with it helps, though.

dome82 13y ago
Wish you to get well soon!

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

frik 13y ago

The co-founder with the tumor has his own blog, read this as well: http://ronniecastro.me/40-percent-chance-tumor-grows/ http://ronniecastro.me/40-percent-chance-tumor-grows/ (incl. photos). Good luck

ahn3 13y ago
I see myself in his post. I was diagnosed in my 20s. I have been through a very similar experience. If the blog author reads this: eat. Then eat some more. I cannot stress this enough. Having some disposable energy (fat) stored on you makes facing a major illness _less hard_. Myself, I lost 15kg going through chemo and radiation therapy. You are already skinny... While you eat, spend quality time with your loved ones. You will never regret it. You have a beautiful daughter and a lovely family. In my experience, the two most useful things during treatment are emotional and physical support from your family and friends, and therapy with a psychologist. Be strong and God be with you.
victorhn 13y ago
And here is a donation page (i found the link on the blogpost http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-cancer/ http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-c...) https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/yrv2/we-love-ron https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/yrv2/we-love-ron
- biot 13y ago
  It seems odd that there's a donation page for a guy who had a $60M exit previously, assuming I understood the article.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
anigbrowl 13y ago
This is considerably more interesting to me, thanks.

reeses 13y ago

I'd recommend that commenters simmer down on the emotional intensity and put away the torches and pitchforks. This is relevant to any startup. Yes, brain cancer is an extreme case, but just as it's important to select the right cofounder, having something unexpected or unplanned happen to your cofounder is a situation that has to be handled. It could be something as awful as brain cancer[1], as joyous as a new baby or as horrifying as discovering that the new baby has a hole in his heart, or something that is both positive and negative, such as falling in love with someone who wants or needs to move away from your business location. Key man insurance can help, but notes on experiences such as this are helpful as well. It's easy to pile onto the author as an insensitive schmuck because you are not in that position. We can't directly relate to his situation, so we can judge all we like without fear of hypocrisy. However, at some point, if you are lucky enough to grow a company and you are responsible for the livelihood of your employees, a key member of the team will have an 'availability-limiting event' that will force you to make tough decisions. Having articles such as this help. Not all the advice is immediately useful ("hire a bunch of interns") but dropping meetings and intensifying focus is good. Keeping in mind,"How should I handle this so that I don't leave this in a mess for X?" is good as well, because it assumes that X will be back. If this happens to you, know that you have google/duckduck/bing fodder to look for help in your moment of panic. Know that while it's one thing to think,"I have cancer and I have to figure out what to do with my startup," for which you can find a number of bits of advice, it's another to be affected as a partner. Know also that you should make sure that you cross-train enough with your cofounder so that neither of you is trying to do a brain dump to the other in the back of an ambulance while your loved ones are terrified. Finally, I would find it hard to believe that the author posted this without his partner's consent. It sounds as if they've gotten through the immediate crisis with the tumor and he is probably at least partially re-involved with the company.[2] Take posts such as this at face value. Have compassion. [1] Fuck cancer. [2] Chemo is a bastard; see: [1]

zrail 13y ago
Chemo really is an awful thing to put a body through. Toward the end of my treatment I was able to scroll through email once a day before having to go back to bed. I wrote about my recent and ongoing experiences with cancer on my blog awhile back [1]. Your footnotes are a a pretty accurate summation. [1]: https://www.petekeen.net/cancer https://www.petekeen.net/cancer

kmfrk 13y ago

While I really don't like the framing of the story, it brings up an important point way too many people in the tech and start-up bubble forget: some things are just out of your control, and bad luck is a real thing that happens to good people. Managing your life and start-up is not something trivially easy you can pin-point with life hacks and inspirational catchphrases. Some people don't manage to achieve something, because they just didn't have the luck of the draw. And we shouldn't blame them for that. I see this very rambling article as a founder dealing with something innately absurd, and if there is something a self-proclaimed hacker doesn't like, it's a deprivation of control and micromanagement. To some, it's cognitive dissonance at work. And regardless of the tone of the article, I am very grateful that the author chose to deal with this in public. And don't tell me the American health care system doesn't get in the way of earning a decent living, as an employer and employee. While this article is penned in a way I don't like that much, the tech press need to get out of their bubble and write more articles about how real problems affect real people, some of whom work at start-ups, and that being an entrepreneurs doesn't render you immune to those problems. It's only a matter of time before someone posts on Medium about "hacking their cancer" or some bullshit, but it'd be great if we took more time to understand that issues like health, health care costs, discrimination, harassment, suicidal ideation, and other problems are things that get in the way, not just of start-ups, but a dignified existence as a human being.

anigbrowl 13y ago
You raise an important point here. One big unanswered question for me while I was reading this was where the (presumably massive) bills for the oncology/neurosurgery were going, and to what extent their payment depended on the success of the startup. EDIT: sure enough, his insurance company is doing its best not to pay for his radiotherapy: http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-cancer/ http://ronniecastro.me/well-fuck-you-lifewise-and-fuck-you-c... All I can say is hang in there :-/
colmvp 13y ago
"And don't tell me the American health care system doesn't get in the way of earning a decent living, as an employer and employee." As a person who has been rejected for having a pre-existing condition, this statement rings true. I need medicine for a condition I was born with, fuck me right?

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

bdcravens 13y ago

I don't have cancer, though I've lost those close to me. I do have a (currently) incurable disease. (I do have an extremely mild case, I must admiit) Many my age with CF are too busy taking medicine and staying alive to do much with a career. Others are on the verge of needing transplants. Others still have been gone a long time. I pray of course for the best, but one day, it might get me. I have things I'm passionate about. My hope would be that those around me help me fulfill my visions and goals in life, through my struggles and recovery. As the article is written, this wasn't something the cofounder was forced into, but something he jumped into with plenty of options and I'll presume they are passionate about.

rambojohnson 13y ago

the "seriously?" bit irritated me for some reason. yes, it's serious. yes, life is bigger than your startup.

w3pm 13y ago

The intern bit is disturbing to me. The trouble is, he can't actually believe this is the best decision for these kids to make. He himself started a business while still in school; he didn't slave away for someone else as "low cost" labor. His own experience tells him that the best "career stepping stone" is to create things, with friends, for yourselves. Any truly "wicked smart" kids shouldn't be making this decision and he's not doing them any favors by encouraging it. In my own experience, offering a fairly-paid internship (ie, what they would be making as a junior full-time employee), of a few months, is a great way to evaluate a potential hire down the road. Do I expect useful work to come out of these few months and build a business plan around it? Not really, and I believe it's dishonest to do so.

mathgladiator 13y ago
To be fair to the interns, it is resume filler. I do, however, feel very sorry for the interns who are seniors.
alistairSH 13y ago
I'll give the benefit of the doubt, and assume "low cost labor" is something close to "first year employee wages". And, not every smart kid is cut out for starting a business. I wasn't. Too risk averse. I like to build software, I'm pretty good at it, but much prefer the comfort of a salary.

thomasfoster96 13y ago

Unfortunately, I've known a few great people, people I was very close to, to lose a few of what could have been some really productive years due to these sorts of things. Brain tumours are reasonably rare but they are also unpredictable and turn up at any moment. Anyway, at least in Australia we have Medicare for everyone, which should soon cover trips to the dentist, as well as the DisabilityCare scheme that's rolling out for people who have acquired or were born with a disability. Oh, and madatory superannnuation. Ya'll welcome to move here. You'll probably like it here.