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Echoing the comment below me because it's great advice. How do you know your friends birthdays? You either ask or you look it up on Facebook. How many times ha

Echoing the comment below me because it's great advice. How do you know your friends birthdays? You either ask or you look it up on Facebook. How many times have you added a client on Facebook? Seems weird right? If you did add a client on Facebook, you'd know more about them. You might discover you both like capoeira or that you both hate Nopa, or you might discover they love cilantro and you hate it. Whatever it is you discover, it'll be 1000000x more personal than trying to sell them on your product. So how do you get their birthday? By being their friend. Big partnerships almost always consist of big friendships.

mindcrime 13y ago
Big partnerships almost always consist of big friendships. Good point. The thing is, people should understand that it takes time to build those friendships. And I guess that, in my mind, I see it taking longer to progress to the stage of casually exchanging personal details like birthdates, anniversary, kids birthdates, etc., than what I'd expect (hope?) many sales cycles to take. But perhaps I'm just overly cautious, as I've mostly tended not to get too personal with business acquaintances in the past. Maybe that's one of those things that I need to change my thinking on... You might discover you both like capoeira or that you both hate Nopa, or you might discover they love cilantro and you hate it. Yes, but they'll also discover that I'm a rapid government-hating Libertarian / anarcho-capitalist and an atheist among other things. Those kinds of details could damage a relationship, if it's the kind of thing they get worked up over. Now my mindset has largely always been "I don't need anybody who doesn't want to do business with me because I'm (Libertarian|Atheist|White|40+|A Miami Dolphins Fan|A UNC Tarheels Fan|Etc)", but still, there are things that, while I don't hide them, I also don't actively broadcast them to every business connection I make. Anyway, thanks for sharing your viewpoint. This is something I need to think about a lot, as I'm just at that point where I need to start become a salesman and not just a hacker. :-)
- josh2600 13y ago
  I'm definitely not advising you to memorize everyone you meet. Most companies tend to hold real allegiance to a small handful of customers. Get to know your key stakeholders. If you have a component supplier that makes up 30% of your business, you should have dinner with their key stakeholder on at least a bi-annual basis. If you have a set of clients that make up 40% of your revenue, invite their stakeholders to dinner. You'll notice that I never say CEO, only stakeholders, because those relationships are the valuable ones. As you move further up the food chain I think you'll find, as I have, that CEOs are often figureheads with a big hammer. You need their permission, but the real leverage comes from elsewhere within the organization (usually not the techies, unfortunately). We're all always selling things. It's an unfortunate consequence of the human condition.
  - eitally 13y ago
    You know your shit. :) Instead of just upvoting every one of your comments in this thread, I'll just post here to let everyone know that everything you've said is both true and excellent advice. Thanks for contributing!

mindcrime 13y ago

Big partnerships almost always consist of big friendships. Good point. The thing is, people should understand that it takes time to build those friendships. And I guess that, in my mind, I see it taking longer to progress to the stage of casually exchanging personal details like birthdates, anniversary, kids birthdates, etc., than what I'd expect (hope?) many sales cycles to take. But perhaps I'm just overly cautious, as I've mostly tended not to get too personal with business acquaintances in the past. Maybe that's one of those things that I need to change my thinking on... You might discover you both like capoeira or that you both hate Nopa, or you might discover they love cilantro and you hate it. Yes, but they'll also discover that I'm a rapid government-hating Libertarian / anarcho-capitalist and an atheist among other things. Those kinds of details could damage a relationship, if it's the kind of thing they get worked up over. Now my mindset has largely always been "I don't need anybody who doesn't want to do business with me because I'm (Libertarian|Atheist|White|40+|A Miami Dolphins Fan|A UNC Tarheels Fan|Etc)", but still, there are things that, while I don't hide them, I also don't actively broadcast them to every business connection I make. Anyway, thanks for sharing your viewpoint. This is something I need to think about a lot, as I'm just at that point where I need to start become a salesman and not just a hacker. :-)

josh2600 13y ago
I'm definitely not advising you to memorize everyone you meet. Most companies tend to hold real allegiance to a small handful of customers. Get to know your key stakeholders. If you have a component supplier that makes up 30% of your business, you should have dinner with their key stakeholder on at least a bi-annual basis. If you have a set of clients that make up 40% of your revenue, invite their stakeholders to dinner. You'll notice that I never say CEO, only stakeholders, because those relationships are the valuable ones. As you move further up the food chain I think you'll find, as I have, that CEOs are often figureheads with a big hammer. You need their permission, but the real leverage comes from elsewhere within the organization (usually not the techies, unfortunately). We're all always selling things. It's an unfortunate consequence of the human condition.
- eitally 13y ago
  You know your shit. :) Instead of just upvoting every one of your comments in this thread, I'll just post here to let everyone know that everything you've said is both true and excellent advice. Thanks for contributing!