6 ms·

Ways to make yourself happier

101 points by Lightning 13y ago

sp332 13y ago
The best trick I know for "improving affect" is very counter-intuitive. Think about something good that happened to you, and really changed things. Now imagine how much worse your day (or your life!) would be without that event. Ten seconds, and presto! Your mood improves! Edit: Affect is a noun. It means "the way you feel", and the inflection is on the first syllable. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/affect#Etymology_3 https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/affect#Etymology_3
- sergiotapia 13y ago
  Holy fuck! Pardon my french. Great tip my friend.
- dncrane 13y ago
  This is a good technique, it's called the "george bailey effect" (after the main character in "It's a Wonderful Life") More info: http://morehappy.me/2013/07/06/to-boost-happiness-imagine-how-else-things-could-have-gone/ http://morehappy.me/2013/07/06/to-boost-happiness-imagine-ho... http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2746912/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2746912/
  - sp332 13y ago
    Oh, thanks! I knew I had seen it in a study but my Google-fu is weak.
sergiotapia 13y ago
A sure-fire way to increase your happiness is to work out. Do 40 pushups a day for a week, see how your mood improves. Your body is meant to be exercised, don't deprive it of movement and muscle ache. When I used to go to the gym I remember always sleeping soundly, always waking up feeling awesome and always having a great feeling throughout the day. Can't recommend it enough.
- a3n 13y ago
  And if you can't do 40, do five. And if you can't do straight pushups, do knee pushups. And if you can't do five, do one. Then two. Then five. Then 40. But don't rush it, just do what you can and then a little more.
  - saturdayplace 13y ago
    Seconded. People often get overwhelmed at the scope of "become more fit" once they've finished a workout or two. Doing it one small accomplishable bit at a time is a totally valid way of building a fitness habit, and is NOT something to be ashamed of. And for the RPG nerds here this is exactly how you level-up IRL.
    - Roboprog 13y ago
      Oh, man. How long I gotta spend level-grinding at the gym? (whah! :-))
- moron4hire 13y ago
  You'll release endorphins into your blood stream, which feels good and makes you feel relaxed-but-alert, but you won't find happiness.
- jmduke 13y ago
  I started doing the seven-minute workout before I showered and ate breakfast in the morning and it improves my day immeasurably. Getting the juices flowing as soon as possible is quick, easy, and wonderful.
- ripter 13y ago
  Agreed. I started last year doing 5 pushups first thing when I got to work in the morning. Now I do 50 pushups every morning. If your office has treadmill desks, use them! I swear I get more coding done on the treadmill than I do sitting at my desk. (it could also be the fact that fewer people bother me on the treadmill.)
- Detrus 13y ago
bendoernberg 13y ago
"In fact, 100 hours per year (or two hours per week) is the optimal time we should dedicate to helping others in order to enrich our lives." First of all, recent research has indicated that shallow happiness is not as important for well-being as a sense of purpose (http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/meaning-is-healthier-than-happiness/278250/ http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/meaning-is...). Second, if you spend time helping others only so far as it enriches your life, that is literally the definition of selfishness. This is NOT a philosophy that should be encouraged or applauded. Productivity is not an end, it is a means to accomplish something. If you are the world's most efficient and productive marble bathtub designer, and you only help others to the extent that it makes you happier, you are a jerk.
- wtvanhest 13y ago
  >"Second, if you spend time helping others only so far as it enriches your life, that is literally the definition of selfishness." Everyone does selfish things, some of those things make people happier. The author doesn't say to help people to be not selfish, the author says to help people to feel better about yourself. >"This is NOT an approach to life that should be encouraged or applauded." Any reason why not? >"If you are the world's most efficient and productive marble bathtub designer, and you only help others to the extent that it makes you happier, you are a jerk." What if you are the world's most productive and efficient designer of water systems to help save people in third world countries, and you only do it to the extend it makes you happier, are you still a jerk? I like the way you pass judgement on people and at the same time try to get people to not help others because you view it as selfish. [added] scarcrowbob (below) has such a good comment it is quotable.
  - enraged_camel 13y ago
    >>I like the way you pass judgement on people and at the same time try to get people to not help others because you view it as selfish. Yeah, his post is so asinine it makes my head hurt. At the end of the day, there is a selfish component to everything. There is no such thing as pure altruism: even acts that seem purely altruistic are performed ultimately because they make the person feel good. The important thing is that this does not make the person a jerk. I mean, is Bill Gates a jerk? No, right? Helping other people makes him happier, and gives him satisfaction with the feeling of giving back to the world, but if we act like rational people and evaluate his actions on the effect they have on others, then he's definitely an awesome person.
AznHisoka 13y ago
I wonder if the reason we get happier b/c we get older is because our sexual drive decreases. As it decreases, we focus less on what we can't get (more attractive partner, more exciting sex, etc), because it simply doesn't become as desirable.
- chflamplighter 13y ago
  Interesting or maybe as we get older we have satisfied/achieved aspects of that sexual drive and no longer see it as the end all be all with respect to happiness. Either way I think you have a point with the narrative that sex = happiness for some.
- moron4hire 13y ago
  My sex drive only increased after I chose to be happy.
drpgq 13y ago
I find the planning of the trip is often the best part. Sometimes the trip itself can be a bit trying, but you've got the memories forever. Plus you tend to remember the positive parts or laugh at the negatives (I've had my passport stolen twice abroad and I actually laugh now, although it did suck at the time).
- acqq 13y ago
  I must be an exception, planning something I know I'll have much better information about once I'm in that distant place makes me less happy when I have to do it before, based on the information I know it's at least incomplete when not plainly wrong.
ryandrake 13y ago
Not sure about #3. There are a lot of reasons why one would choose to live farther from work. It's not just "wanting a bigger house." Quality of life, better schools, proximity to outdoor activities, etc. could all compensate for the pain of a long commute. Not to mention housing costs. Wonder where the author lives... If you work in Manhattan or on the SF Bay peninsula, it is unlikely that you can afford to live there.
- npsimons 13y ago
  If you work in Manhattan or on the SF Bay peninsula, it is unlikely that you can afford to live there. You don't see something wrong with this? Maybe we as a society are messed up because we consider a one hour commute (one way) to be "normal". Maybe we need to start reconsidering the value of living closer to where we work, or the fact that you can't get "Quality of life, better schools, proximity to outdoor activities, etc" close to where we work. Maybe if wages were more competitive, or housing costs weren't inflated, we could afford to live closer to where we work.
- jcl 13y ago
  If you click through to the research behind the "commute" item, you'll see that it concluded that other things -- like an increased salary -- can indeed compensate for a long commute. The interesting thing that the research uncovered is that people are strongly biased to underestimate the effect of commute time relative to other factors. For example, their survey found that people with effectively no commute were about as happy as people with a one-hour commute who made 40% more. So, yeah, the article is wrong to say that things like a bigger house or better job "just don't work". But they almost certainly won't work as well as people expect them to.
llamataboot 13y ago
I always laugh when these articles show up and every other tip is about finding a way to pack a little exercise or a little recreation into a jam-packed schedule. You too can do some pushups in between checking 200 emails at your standing desk and running to your 17th appointment of the day! (Maybe you would be happier if you had a more relaxed schedule?) The flip side of that coin is that there is no such thing as a magic amount of free time where you will suddenly be able to exercise, meditate, cook your own meals, or whatever you want to do. It can either always be fit in or never be fit in in my experience.
- enraged_camel 13y ago
  >>The flip side of that coin is that there is no such thing as a magic amount of free time where you will suddenly be able to exercise, meditate, cook your own meals, or whatever you want to do. It can either always be fit in or never be fit in in my experience. What do you mean?
  - npsimons 13y ago
    I think I know; this always comes up in discussions of time management, self-improvement, etc. One argument says "if it's valuable to you, you'll make time for it." Which is true as it stands, and can be inspirational - it can be extended to "make time for what truly matters to you." The reality is that it's harder to break bad habits and develop good ones than most people think. I like to say "people can change, but most won't". Some of PG's essays follow along these lines, especially when he uses analogies of running (I think "Hardest Lessons for Startups to Learn" was one prime example).
    - turtle4 13y ago
      I think the common phrasing is, "If it's important to you, you'll find time. If it's not, you'll find an excuse."
- ngoel36 13y ago
  It absolutely can. I used to be pretty overweight. And I, too, had 17 appointments and 200 emails a day. So naturally, my excuse for not hitting the gym every day was, "I don't have time". I've heard that same excuse a thousand times from a thousand people. I went on a run every couple of weeks to make myself feel like I had done my fitness duty, but that was the most I ever did. And then one day I took the plunge, I accidentally woke up early and decided to go to the gym (my family had a membership). I didn't even know what to do, really. I jogged on a treadmill for a bit, jostled around on a few weight machines, did a few dumbbell curls. I felt like a dumbass who didn't belong there. And I was sleepy. It sucked. But then I woke up an hour and a half early the next morning and I did it again. And again. Every fucking day. It eventually started sucking less and less. Two weeks later I had streamlined my gym visit (waking up -> changing -> pre-workout drink -> drive to gym -> workout -> home -> shower -> protein -> work) to 65 minutes and change. And I felt (and actually looked) better than I had in years. Three years later, and my workout is now an immutable part of my day. It's on my calendar, whether I'm working or on vacation. In town or overseas. And nobody fucks with those 65 minutes that I never had time for back in the day.
quarterto 13y ago
Yes, it's very easy to tell the difference between two pictures of a person smiling, one of which has had the contrast increased.
moron4hire 13y ago
You can do all of these things and it won't make you happy. Barring any clinical depression issues, "happiness" is a choice to accept the conditions in which you live and to just Be Happy. If you ever start a sentence with "I'll be happy when..." then you are not ever going to be happy. I had to learn this the hard way. Almost everything I owned was destroyed in a flood a couple of years ago. I watched one of my housemates freak out and cry for days about it. It couldn't have been shoved in my face harder that the choice was mine. I could assume that happiness came from the lifestyle I designed for myself, as my housemate did, and therefore it had just been completely destroyed with no hope of coming back any time soon. Or, I could assume happiness was a state of being that could be achieved at any point in time, no matter what was going on: that there are no prerequisites to happiness. And suddenly, I was happy. And then I met my wife. And I got to more work that I loved, rather than needed. And found a modicum of success in my consultancy. And got out of debt. And made a lot of new, wonderful friends. After years of being unhappy and getting nowhere on the goals that I thought would make me happy, I flipped a switch and found out that the goals required happiness out of me.
- krmmalik 13y ago
  I'm getting to this point in my life right now. Realising and trying to accept happiness is a state of mind. It's rather new to me and it's a struggle most days. Any advice?
  - jfoutz 13y ago
    That gratitude habit helps. Try writing down 3 things a day for a few weeks that you're grateful for. It'll force you to actively seek positive, fulfilling things in your life. Hopefully it'll soak up some of the time you would spend thinking about things you're lacking.
    - krmmalik 13y ago
      I have started a gratitude habit but i should do it more. Good idea!
  - 13y ago
jongraehl 13y ago
I've read about these topics for a long time, and I quickly concluded that the author(s) made no effort at skepticism. You absolutely cannot rely on such superficial analysis of research. Even if you don't know anything you should be suspicious (examples: women need more sleep than men "because their brains are more complicated", 8.5 hrs sleep is less healthy than 5 hrs - correlation/causation error at least; meditation doesn't just calm the mind but is also one of the best ways to buy lasting happiness (evidence: quote from meditation advocate)).
hschool 13y ago
You can make yourself happier by deciding that you want to be happy. Our brain can manufacture happiness. Listen to this talk by Dan Gilbert: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.h...
bsbechtel 13y ago
Short-term happiness and life satisfaction are two different things, and any discussion on happiness really needs to include both. You can exercise, meditate, walk to work, have 100 close friends and family you keep in contact with regularly, and take every other step happiness gurus preach, but if you aren't actively working towards goals that increase your life satisfaction, you're in trouble. The hard part is figuring out what you need to do to feel satisfied at the end of the day.
aaronmarks 13y ago
reminds me of this tweet: "happiness is a choice," insists able-bodied, healthy, beautiful millionaire jennifer aniston in the new edition of some shit magazine https://twitter.com/plume__/status/362631201388892160 https://twitter.com/plume__/status/362631201388892160
maebert 13y ago
Am I the first one to call this article out on BS pop neuroscience? If you want to convince yourself that this makes you happier, just go and try it, but completely context-deprived pictures of colourful blobs on a 3D brain proves... nothing. Oh, you need sleep to be productive? Let's run a poorly designed $20,000 fMRI study to prove that! Folks, this has to end.
- jfoutz 13y ago
  not sure about the color blobs, but i think the gratitude stuff has some foundation. http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Labs/emmons/PWT/index.cfm?Section=2 http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Labs/emmons/PWT/index.cfm?Sect...
  - maebert 13y ago
    Oh, I have absolutely no doubts about that! And from at least the review article they had on this page [1], it seems like the do some solid psychological assessment of gratitude. What does concern me though is when neuroscience is thrown into the mix just because everything seems more convincing with brain scans[3]. The articles <del>cited</del> referred to in the blog posts linked in the original blog post however often follow this pattern: (1) Assess X (say, gratitude) with an established or new questionnaire. (2) find a condition to vary (3) do a fMRI in both conditions and (4) correlate the contrast with the questionnaire. If you found a correlation, you found the neuronal cause for X! Publish! This is just a huge waste of money. And also often enough poorly done [2]. [1] http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=JYj4KStQjhIC&oi=fnd&pg=PA248&dq=Why+gratitude+enhances+well-being:+What+we+know,+what+we+need+to+know.&ots=kVlQxo-xE2&sig=ClfqEvW3v-PAIZe2X4SLza6A-N0#v=onepage&q=Why%20gratitude%20enhances%20well-being%3A%20What%20we%20know%2C%20what%20we%20need%20to%20know.&f=false http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=JYj4KStQjhIC&oi=f... [2] http://www.edvul.com/pdf/VulHarrisWinkielmanPashler-PPS-2009.pdf http://www.edvul.com/pdf/VulHarrisWinkielmanPashler-PPS-2009... [3] http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465018777/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0465018777&linkCode=as2&tag=slatmaga-20 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465018777/ref=as_li_ss_tl?...
languagehacker 13y ago
"According to The Art of Manliness..." Seems like a very authoritative source.
- ngoel36 13y ago
  Awesome book, actually!
ra88it 13y ago
I'm seeing a lot of comments playing devil's advocate by claiming that happiness is a choice. That's true! But it doesn't contradict the article. What we call 'happiness' or 'sadness' is just some combination of the thousands of automatic judgements we've made about the world recently. All of these judgments (choices) are themselves composed of smaller judgements (this is good, this is bad). We try not to be 'judgemental', and I know what people mean when they say that, but I'd say it is in fact probably all we can do. I mean, technically speaking. You can zoom in to examine the tiny choices (to some extent), and you can zoom out so that sometimes happiness looks for all the world like a single big ol' choice. I think this is what people call 'clarity', and I think I've experienced it once or twice. But actually, for most of us, most of the time, happiness is the result of all these tiny, composable, semi-automatic judgements about the world, and we have to keep on making these choices, over and over and over again as we think. And exercising, meditating, getting enough sleep, spending quality time with other humans, etc. - this stuff really will help us improve our semi-automatic judgements so that we are saying "this is good...this is good..." slightly more often than before. [slight edits for clarity]
holri 13y ago
On the Happy Life Seneca (First Century A.D.) http://thriceholy.net/Texts/Happy.html http://thriceholy.net/Texts/Happy.html

101 points by Lightning 13y ago

sp332 13y ago

The best trick I know for "improving affect" is very counter-intuitive. Think about something good that happened to you, and really changed things. Now imagine how much worse your day (or your life!) would be without that event. Ten seconds, and presto! Your mood improves! Edit: Affect is a noun. It means "the way you feel", and the inflection is on the first syllable. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/affect#Etymology_3 https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/affect#Etymology_3

sergiotapia 13y ago
Holy fuck! Pardon my french. Great tip my friend.
dncrane 13y ago
This is a good technique, it's called the "george bailey effect" (after the main character in "It's a Wonderful Life") More info: http://morehappy.me/2013/07/06/to-boost-happiness-imagine-how-else-things-could-have-gone/ http://morehappy.me/2013/07/06/to-boost-happiness-imagine-ho... http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2746912/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2746912/
- sp332 13y ago
  Oh, thanks! I knew I had seen it in a study but my Google-fu is weak.

sergiotapia 13y ago

A sure-fire way to increase your happiness is to work out. Do 40 pushups a day for a week, see how your mood improves. Your body is meant to be exercised, don't deprive it of movement and muscle ache. When I used to go to the gym I remember always sleeping soundly, always waking up feeling awesome and always having a great feeling throughout the day. Can't recommend it enough.

a3n 13y ago
And if you can't do 40, do five. And if you can't do straight pushups, do knee pushups. And if you can't do five, do one. Then two. Then five. Then 40. But don't rush it, just do what you can and then a little more.
- saturdayplace 13y ago
  Seconded. People often get overwhelmed at the scope of "become more fit" once they've finished a workout or two. Doing it one small accomplishable bit at a time is a totally valid way of building a fitness habit, and is NOT something to be ashamed of. And for the RPG nerds here this is exactly how you level-up IRL.
  - Roboprog 13y ago
    Oh, man. How long I gotta spend level-grinding at the gym? (whah! :-))
moron4hire 13y ago
You'll release endorphins into your blood stream, which feels good and makes you feel relaxed-but-alert, but you won't find happiness.
jmduke 13y ago
I started doing the seven-minute workout before I showered and ate breakfast in the morning and it improves my day immeasurably. Getting the juices flowing as soon as possible is quick, easy, and wonderful.
ripter 13y ago
Agreed. I started last year doing 5 pushups first thing when I got to work in the morning. Now I do 50 pushups every morning. If your office has treadmill desks, use them! I swear I get more coding done on the treadmill than I do sitting at my desk. (it could also be the fact that fewer people bother me on the treadmill.)
Detrus 13y ago

bendoernberg 13y ago

"In fact, 100 hours per year (or two hours per week) is the optimal time we should dedicate to helping others in order to enrich our lives." First of all, recent research has indicated that shallow happiness is not as important for well-being as a sense of purpose (http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/meaning-is-healthier-than-happiness/278250/ http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/meaning-is...). Second, if you spend time helping others only so far as it enriches your life, that is literally the definition of selfishness. This is NOT a philosophy that should be encouraged or applauded. Productivity is not an end, it is a means to accomplish something. If you are the world's most efficient and productive marble bathtub designer, and you only help others to the extent that it makes you happier, you are a jerk.

wtvanhest 13y ago
>"Second, if you spend time helping others only so far as it enriches your life, that is literally the definition of selfishness." Everyone does selfish things, some of those things make people happier. The author doesn't say to help people to be not selfish, the author says to help people to feel better about yourself. >"This is NOT an approach to life that should be encouraged or applauded." Any reason why not? >"If you are the world's most efficient and productive marble bathtub designer, and you only help others to the extent that it makes you happier, you are a jerk." What if you are the world's most productive and efficient designer of water systems to help save people in third world countries, and you only do it to the extend it makes you happier, are you still a jerk? I like the way you pass judgement on people and at the same time try to get people to not help others because you view it as selfish. [added] scarcrowbob (below) has such a good comment it is quotable.
- enraged_camel 13y ago
  >>I like the way you pass judgement on people and at the same time try to get people to not help others because you view it as selfish. Yeah, his post is so asinine it makes my head hurt. At the end of the day, there is a selfish component to everything. There is no such thing as pure altruism: even acts that seem purely altruistic are performed ultimately because they make the person feel good. The important thing is that this does not make the person a jerk. I mean, is Bill Gates a jerk? No, right? Helping other people makes him happier, and gives him satisfaction with the feeling of giving back to the world, but if we act like rational people and evaluate his actions on the effect they have on others, then he's definitely an awesome person.

AznHisoka 13y ago

I wonder if the reason we get happier b/c we get older is because our sexual drive decreases. As it decreases, we focus less on what we can't get (more attractive partner, more exciting sex, etc), because it simply doesn't become as desirable.

chflamplighter 13y ago
Interesting or maybe as we get older we have satisfied/achieved aspects of that sexual drive and no longer see it as the end all be all with respect to happiness. Either way I think you have a point with the narrative that sex = happiness for some.
moron4hire 13y ago
My sex drive only increased after I chose to be happy.

drpgq 13y ago

I find the planning of the trip is often the best part. Sometimes the trip itself can be a bit trying, but you've got the memories forever. Plus you tend to remember the positive parts or laugh at the negatives (I've had my passport stolen twice abroad and I actually laugh now, although it did suck at the time).

acqq 13y ago
I must be an exception, planning something I know I'll have much better information about once I'm in that distant place makes me less happy when I have to do it before, based on the information I know it's at least incomplete when not plainly wrong.

ryandrake 13y ago

Not sure about #3. There are a lot of reasons why one would choose to live farther from work. It's not just "wanting a bigger house." Quality of life, better schools, proximity to outdoor activities, etc. could all compensate for the pain of a long commute. Not to mention housing costs. Wonder where the author lives... If you work in Manhattan or on the SF Bay peninsula, it is unlikely that you can afford to live there.

npsimons 13y ago
If you work in Manhattan or on the SF Bay peninsula, it is unlikely that you can afford to live there. You don't see something wrong with this? Maybe we as a society are messed up because we consider a one hour commute (one way) to be "normal". Maybe we need to start reconsidering the value of living closer to where we work, or the fact that you can't get "Quality of life, better schools, proximity to outdoor activities, etc" close to where we work. Maybe if wages were more competitive, or housing costs weren't inflated, we could afford to live closer to where we work.
jcl 13y ago
If you click through to the research behind the "commute" item, you'll see that it concluded that other things -- like an increased salary -- can indeed compensate for a long commute. The interesting thing that the research uncovered is that people are strongly biased to underestimate the effect of commute time relative to other factors. For example, their survey found that people with effectively no commute were about as happy as people with a one-hour commute who made 40% more. So, yeah, the article is wrong to say that things like a bigger house or better job "just don't work". But they almost certainly won't work as well as people expect them to.

llamataboot 13y ago

I always laugh when these articles show up and every other tip is about finding a way to pack a little exercise or a little recreation into a jam-packed schedule. You too can do some pushups in between checking 200 emails at your standing desk and running to your 17th appointment of the day! (Maybe you would be happier if you had a more relaxed schedule?) The flip side of that coin is that there is no such thing as a magic amount of free time where you will suddenly be able to exercise, meditate, cook your own meals, or whatever you want to do. It can either always be fit in or never be fit in in my experience.

enraged_camel 13y ago
>>The flip side of that coin is that there is no such thing as a magic amount of free time where you will suddenly be able to exercise, meditate, cook your own meals, or whatever you want to do. It can either always be fit in or never be fit in in my experience. What do you mean?
- npsimons 13y ago
  I think I know; this always comes up in discussions of time management, self-improvement, etc. One argument says "if it's valuable to you, you'll make time for it." Which is true as it stands, and can be inspirational - it can be extended to "make time for what truly matters to you." The reality is that it's harder to break bad habits and develop good ones than most people think. I like to say "people can change, but most won't". Some of PG's essays follow along these lines, especially when he uses analogies of running (I think "Hardest Lessons for Startups to Learn" was one prime example).
  - turtle4 13y ago
    I think the common phrasing is, "If it's important to you, you'll find time. If it's not, you'll find an excuse."
ngoel36 13y ago
It absolutely can. I used to be pretty overweight. And I, too, had 17 appointments and 200 emails a day. So naturally, my excuse for not hitting the gym every day was, "I don't have time". I've heard that same excuse a thousand times from a thousand people. I went on a run every couple of weeks to make myself feel like I had done my fitness duty, but that was the most I ever did. And then one day I took the plunge, I accidentally woke up early and decided to go to the gym (my family had a membership). I didn't even know what to do, really. I jogged on a treadmill for a bit, jostled around on a few weight machines, did a few dumbbell curls. I felt like a dumbass who didn't belong there. And I was sleepy. It sucked. But then I woke up an hour and a half early the next morning and I did it again. And again. Every fucking day. It eventually started sucking less and less. Two weeks later I had streamlined my gym visit (waking up -> changing -> pre-workout drink -> drive to gym -> workout -> home -> shower -> protein -> work) to 65 minutes and change. And I felt (and actually looked) better than I had in years. Three years later, and my workout is now an immutable part of my day. It's on my calendar, whether I'm working or on vacation. In town or overseas. And nobody fucks with those 65 minutes that I never had time for back in the day.

quarterto 13y ago

Yes, it's very easy to tell the difference between two pictures of a person smiling, one of which has had the contrast increased.

moron4hire 13y ago

You can do all of these things and it won't make you happy. Barring any clinical depression issues, "happiness" is a choice to accept the conditions in which you live and to just Be Happy. If you ever start a sentence with "I'll be happy when..." then you are not ever going to be happy. I had to learn this the hard way. Almost everything I owned was destroyed in a flood a couple of years ago. I watched one of my housemates freak out and cry for days about it. It couldn't have been shoved in my face harder that the choice was mine. I could assume that happiness came from the lifestyle I designed for myself, as my housemate did, and therefore it had just been completely destroyed with no hope of coming back any time soon. Or, I could assume happiness was a state of being that could be achieved at any point in time, no matter what was going on: that there are no prerequisites to happiness. And suddenly, I was happy. And then I met my wife. And I got to more work that I loved, rather than needed. And found a modicum of success in my consultancy. And got out of debt. And made a lot of new, wonderful friends. After years of being unhappy and getting nowhere on the goals that I thought would make me happy, I flipped a switch and found out that the goals required happiness out of me.

krmmalik 13y ago
I'm getting to this point in my life right now. Realising and trying to accept happiness is a state of mind. It's rather new to me and it's a struggle most days. Any advice?
- jfoutz 13y ago
  That gratitude habit helps. Try writing down 3 things a day for a few weeks that you're grateful for. It'll force you to actively seek positive, fulfilling things in your life. Hopefully it'll soak up some of the time you would spend thinking about things you're lacking.
  - krmmalik 13y ago
    I have started a gratitude habit but i should do it more. Good idea!
- 13y ago

jongraehl 13y ago

I've read about these topics for a long time, and I quickly concluded that the author(s) made no effort at skepticism. You absolutely cannot rely on such superficial analysis of research. Even if you don't know anything you should be suspicious (examples: women need more sleep than men "because their brains are more complicated", 8.5 hrs sleep is less healthy than 5 hrs - correlation/causation error at least; meditation doesn't just calm the mind but is also one of the best ways to buy lasting happiness (evidence: quote from meditation advocate)).

hschool 13y ago

You can make yourself happier by deciding that you want to be happy. Our brain can manufacture happiness. Listen to this talk by Dan Gilbert: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.h...

bsbechtel 13y ago

Short-term happiness and life satisfaction are two different things, and any discussion on happiness really needs to include both. You can exercise, meditate, walk to work, have 100 close friends and family you keep in contact with regularly, and take every other step happiness gurus preach, but if you aren't actively working towards goals that increase your life satisfaction, you're in trouble. The hard part is figuring out what you need to do to feel satisfied at the end of the day.

aaronmarks 13y ago

reminds me of this tweet: "happiness is a choice," insists able-bodied, healthy, beautiful millionaire jennifer aniston in the new edition of some shit magazine https://twitter.com/plume__/status/362631201388892160 https://twitter.com/plume__/status/362631201388892160

maebert 13y ago

Am I the first one to call this article out on BS pop neuroscience? If you want to convince yourself that this makes you happier, just go and try it, but completely context-deprived pictures of colourful blobs on a 3D brain proves... nothing. Oh, you need sleep to be productive? Let's run a poorly designed $20,000 fMRI study to prove that! Folks, this has to end.

jfoutz 13y ago
not sure about the color blobs, but i think the gratitude stuff has some foundation. http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Labs/emmons/PWT/index.cfm?Section=2 http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Labs/emmons/PWT/index.cfm?Sect...
- maebert 13y ago
  Oh, I have absolutely no doubts about that! And from at least the review article they had on this page [1], it seems like the do some solid psychological assessment of gratitude. What does concern me though is when neuroscience is thrown into the mix just because everything seems more convincing with brain scans[3]. The articles <del>cited</del> referred to in the blog posts linked in the original blog post however often follow this pattern: (1) Assess X (say, gratitude) with an established or new questionnaire. (2) find a condition to vary (3) do a fMRI in both conditions and (4) correlate the contrast with the questionnaire. If you found a correlation, you found the neuronal cause for X! Publish! This is just a huge waste of money. And also often enough poorly done [2]. [1] http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=JYj4KStQjhIC&oi=fnd&pg=PA248&dq=Why+gratitude+enhances+well-being:+What+we+know,+what+we+need+to+know.&ots=kVlQxo-xE2&sig=ClfqEvW3v-PAIZe2X4SLza6A-N0#v=onepage&q=Why%20gratitude%20enhances%20well-being%3A%20What%20we%20know%2C%20what%20we%20need%20to%20know.&f=false http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=JYj4KStQjhIC&oi=f... [2] http://www.edvul.com/pdf/VulHarrisWinkielmanPashler-PPS-2009.pdf http://www.edvul.com/pdf/VulHarrisWinkielmanPashler-PPS-2009... [3] http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465018777/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0465018777&linkCode=as2&tag=slatmaga-20 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465018777/ref=as_li_ss_tl?...

languagehacker 13y ago

"According to The Art of Manliness..." Seems like a very authoritative source.

ngoel36 13y ago
Awesome book, actually!

ra88it 13y ago

I'm seeing a lot of comments playing devil's advocate by claiming that happiness is a choice. That's true! But it doesn't contradict the article. What we call 'happiness' or 'sadness' is just some combination of the thousands of automatic judgements we've made about the world recently. All of these judgments (choices) are themselves composed of smaller judgements (this is good, this is bad). We try not to be 'judgemental', and I know what people mean when they say that, but I'd say it is in fact probably all we can do. I mean, technically speaking. You can zoom in to examine the tiny choices (to some extent), and you can zoom out so that sometimes happiness looks for all the world like a single big ol' choice. I think this is what people call 'clarity', and I think I've experienced it once or twice. But actually, for most of us, most of the time, happiness is the result of all these tiny, composable, semi-automatic judgements about the world, and we have to keep on making these choices, over and over and over again as we think. And exercising, meditating, getting enough sleep, spending quality time with other humans, etc. - this stuff really will help us improve our semi-automatic judgements so that we are saying "this is good...this is good..." slightly more often than before. [slight edits for clarity]

holri 13y ago

On the Happy Life Seneca (First Century A.D.) http://thriceholy.net/Texts/Happy.html http://thriceholy.net/Texts/Happy.html