"For the last six months, my friend and his programmer have been trying to figure out why their site is so slow. It could take literally 5 minutes to load a use

"For the last six months, my friend and his programmer have been trying to figure out why their site is so slow. It could take literally 5 minutes to load a user page. Updates to the database were proceeding at one every several seconds. Was the site heavily loaded? About one user every 10 minutes." I would have replied with "My staff sent me an internet last thursday and it only arrived this morning", but you get points for restraint.