4 ms·

I definitely agree on the girlfriend, but from my experience that's even more difficult than learning social graces. It takes a perceptive woman to realize tha

by russell 17y ago

I definitely agree on the girlfriend, but from my experience that's even more difficult than learning social graces. It takes a perceptive woman to realize that underneath is a really good guy that just needs some help. Young women are often as dense in their own way as hackers. It took me years and the experience of a bad marriage to become acceptable to a good woman.

stcredzero 17y ago
Agreed, it took me years of being a jerk to women plus the good fortune of an ex turning into a friend and smacking me with the truth. My solution also involved perception, but on my part. I was able to spot the potential in a quiet, wallflowery girl at a party. Now I am blessed with a a very sweet, patient, intelligent, perceptive, and demurely sexy girlfriend. Another piece of advice -- all you nerdy guys out there who check off all the races except "African American" on dating site preferences -- do yourself a favor and stop it. There's lots of really cute nerdy gals out there who just happen to have a bit more melanin.
- Notorious_PWN 17y ago
  Agreed, it took me years of being a jerk to women plus the good fortune of an ex turning into a friend and smacking me with the truth. I think most men go through the thesis-antithesis-synthesis triad with women. Thesis: "All you have to do is be a nice guy." "Be yourself." "The way to get a girlfriend is to be friends with girls." (All those things mothers tell 10-year-old boys.) Once a man realizes that these sorts of guys are a fistful of fail when it comes to women, there's a swing over to... Antithesis: "Women like assholes." "Ignore and mistreat her so she'll be more attracted to you." This is a great way to scoop quantity but not quality, so any decent guy realizes that this is a shitty way to live as well, leading to: Synthesis: Treat women well, but don't be a doormat, and quickly dump the ones who play games or are attracted to asshole behaviors. Another piece of advice -- all you nerdy guys out there who check off all the races except "African American" on dating site preferences -- I thought that was douchebags, not nerds. Generally, nerds are a non-racist crowd. In any case, I think having those sorts of criteria is incredibly self-defeating, for two reasons. The first is that a lot of people on dating sites turn down anyone with racial criteria at all (I'm white, and I stop reading if I see anything other than "Any"). The second is that great matches with top-quality people are pretty rare and rejecting one on something as trivial skin color borders on self-destruction. There's lots of really cute nerdy gals out there who just happen to have a bit more melanin. FTW.
sandal 17y ago
Let's just keep in mind that young women and hackers are not mutually exclusive.
Notorious_PWN 17y ago
It took me years and the experience of a bad marriage to become acceptable to a good woman. I don't think it takes monumental effort to "become acceptable to a good woman." It takes a lot of luck to find one, especially in the US. I had a really good relationship with a great person for 2 years. I don't know how I did it.

by russell 17y ago

stcredzero 17y ago

Agreed, it took me years of being a jerk to women plus the good fortune of an ex turning into a friend and smacking me with the truth. My solution also involved perception, but on my part. I was able to spot the potential in a quiet, wallflowery girl at a party. Now I am blessed with a a very sweet, patient, intelligent, perceptive, and demurely sexy girlfriend. Another piece of advice -- all you nerdy guys out there who check off all the races except "African American" on dating site preferences -- do yourself a favor and stop it. There's lots of really cute nerdy gals out there who just happen to have a bit more melanin.

Notorious_PWN 17y ago
Agreed, it took me years of being a jerk to women plus the good fortune of an ex turning into a friend and smacking me with the truth. I think most men go through the thesis-antithesis-synthesis triad with women. Thesis: "All you have to do is be a nice guy." "Be yourself." "The way to get a girlfriend is to be friends with girls." (All those things mothers tell 10-year-old boys.) Once a man realizes that these sorts of guys are a fistful of fail when it comes to women, there's a swing over to... Antithesis: "Women like assholes." "Ignore and mistreat her so she'll be more attracted to you." This is a great way to scoop quantity but not quality, so any decent guy realizes that this is a shitty way to live as well, leading to: Synthesis: Treat women well, but don't be a doormat, and quickly dump the ones who play games or are attracted to asshole behaviors. Another piece of advice -- all you nerdy guys out there who check off all the races except "African American" on dating site preferences -- I thought that was douchebags, not nerds. Generally, nerds are a non-racist crowd. In any case, I think having those sorts of criteria is incredibly self-defeating, for two reasons. The first is that a lot of people on dating sites turn down anyone with racial criteria at all (I'm white, and I stop reading if I see anything other than "Any"). The second is that great matches with top-quality people are pretty rare and rejecting one on something as trivial skin color borders on self-destruction. There's lots of really cute nerdy gals out there who just happen to have a bit more melanin. FTW.

sandal 17y ago

Let's just keep in mind that young women and hackers are not mutually exclusive.

Notorious_PWN 17y ago

It took me years and the experience of a bad marriage to become acceptable to a good woman. I don't think it takes monumental effort to "become acceptable to a good woman." It takes a lot of luck to find one, especially in the US. I had a really good relationship with a great person for 2 years. I don't know how I did it.