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>As an American living in Europe for the last year, I have drawn the exact opposite conclusion about tipping culture. As a Brit when in America I find it awful

>As an American living in Europe for the last year, I have drawn the exact opposite conclusion about tipping culture. As a Brit when in America I find it awful how the waitress will pretend to be friendly. If we're just a group of guys or whatever I don't want you to be pretended to be interested in who we are, what we do. Putting a hand on my back isn't going to make me prefer the food I'm here for. If I wanted someone to pretend to be my friend, I'd be in a titty bar. I think there is a good middle ground, in the UK tips are expected to be about 12.5% max. All staff share them, and front of house aren't so transparent in trying to get a bigger tip from you. People appear to take pride in what they do, rather than just being mercenary.

janjongboom 13y ago
Foreigners have the saying here in the Netherlands: "You can complain about the fake friendliness of waiters in the USA, but in the Netherlands you know they genuinely f*n hate you."
- SiVal 13y ago
  As an American working in the UK, I was surprised to discover how often Brits and other Europeans assumed that genuine friendliness was "fake friendliness". Their own attitudes toward others were assumed to be universal, so any sign of friendliness that they wouldn't have expected in their own society was assumed to be fake. Yes, sometimes it is fake, but very often it's a case of being unable to imagine a culture where genuine friendliness toward strangers is a lot more common than what they themselves tend to feel toward strangers.
arbitrage 13y ago
> Putting a hand on my back isn't going to make me prefer the food I'm here for. Perhaps you're immune to the effect, since you know about it. But in aggregate, it can change the disposition of customers (measured using the metric of increased tips). They wouldn't do it if it didn't work.
ValentineC 13y ago
Is there a tipping culture in the UK? I always thought that the mandatory service charge in some restaurants (especially when one has a big party) made up for it. Now I feel slightly guilty.
- adw 13y ago
  10-12.5%, but not if there's a mandatory service charge. Restaurants, cab drivers, barbers etc, but not in pubs (if you're mates with the landlord, offer them a drink on you sometimes...)
  - sejje 13y ago
    What does landlord mean in the UK?
    - Fuzzwah 13y ago
      Owner of the establishment (though, often the patron, manager, or person who runs the place).
    - rmc 13y ago
      The owner of the pub/bar.
- rmc 13y ago
  Yes, you should tip if you're at a restaurant or something. Not in a bar. You shouldn't tip if you're unhappy with the food/service.
Gormo 13y ago
> As a Brit when in America I find it awful how the waitress will pretend to be friendly Depending on where you've visited, this may have little to do with the restaurant setting, and everything to do with the local culture. There are some regions in America in which engaging with others at that level of familiarity is expected in any context, and being impersonal and excessively "professional" is considered rude.
rdouble 13y ago
From my analysis of hundreds of hours of British comedies, it seems like Brits find it awful if anyone is friendly for any reason, in any context.
- Nursie 13y ago
  It's true! Why, you and I may not even be of the same social class! It would be quite impertinent of you to address me as an equal or presume an easy familiarity! I say, the cheek of it...

janjongboom 13y ago

Foreigners have the saying here in the Netherlands: "You can complain about the fake friendliness of waiters in the USA, but in the Netherlands you know they genuinely f*n hate you."

SiVal 13y ago
As an American working in the UK, I was surprised to discover how often Brits and other Europeans assumed that genuine friendliness was "fake friendliness". Their own attitudes toward others were assumed to be universal, so any sign of friendliness that they wouldn't have expected in their own society was assumed to be fake. Yes, sometimes it is fake, but very often it's a case of being unable to imagine a culture where genuine friendliness toward strangers is a lot more common than what they themselves tend to feel toward strangers.

arbitrage 13y ago

> Putting a hand on my back isn't going to make me prefer the food I'm here for. Perhaps you're immune to the effect, since you know about it. But in aggregate, it can change the disposition of customers (measured using the metric of increased tips). They wouldn't do it if it didn't work.

ValentineC 13y ago

Is there a tipping culture in the UK? I always thought that the mandatory service charge in some restaurants (especially when one has a big party) made up for it. Now I feel slightly guilty.

adw 13y ago
10-12.5%, but not if there's a mandatory service charge. Restaurants, cab drivers, barbers etc, but not in pubs (if you're mates with the landlord, offer them a drink on you sometimes...)
- sejje 13y ago
  What does landlord mean in the UK?
  - Fuzzwah 13y ago
    Owner of the establishment (though, often the patron, manager, or person who runs the place).
  - rmc 13y ago
    The owner of the pub/bar.
rmc 13y ago
Yes, you should tip if you're at a restaurant or something. Not in a bar. You shouldn't tip if you're unhappy with the food/service.

Gormo 13y ago

> As a Brit when in America I find it awful how the waitress will pretend to be friendly Depending on where you've visited, this may have little to do with the restaurant setting, and everything to do with the local culture. There are some regions in America in which engaging with others at that level of familiarity is expected in any context, and being impersonal and excessively "professional" is considered rude.

rdouble 13y ago

From my analysis of hundreds of hours of British comedies, it seems like Brits find it awful if anyone is friendly for any reason, in any context.

Nursie 13y ago
It's true! Why, you and I may not even be of the same social class! It would be quite impertinent of you to address me as an equal or presume an easy familiarity! I say, the cheek of it...