No need to get the pitchforks out, this post is satire. The two quotes in the article aren't sourced. A quick Google search shows the last quote only appears in

No need to get the pitchforks out, this post is satire. The two quotes in the article aren't sourced. A quick Google search shows the last quote only appears in this blog [1]. [1]: https://www.google.com/search?q=The+vigilance+of+New+York+City+is+unmatched+and+the+technology+that+it+takes+to+bring+criminals+to+justice+has+just+caught+up&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:unofficial&client=firefox-aurora&channel=fflb#client=firefox-aurora&hs=sMY&rls=org.mozilla:en-US%3Aunofficial&channel=fflb&sclient=psy-ab&q=%22The+vigilance+of+New+York+City+is+unmatched+and+the+technology+that+it+takes+to+bring+criminals+to+justice+has+just+caught+up%22&oq=%22The+vigilance+of+New+York+City+is+unmatched+and+the+technology+that+it+takes+to+bring+criminals+to+justice+has+just+caught+up%22&gs_l=serp.3...6131.7573.0.7835.4.4.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0....4...1c.1.23.psy-ab..4.0.0.6FrmYRC-nzc&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.49967636,d.cGE&fp=945f60794c60d115&biw=1440&bih=787 https://www.google.com/search?q=The+vigilance+of+New+York+Ci...