4 ms·

This doesn't come up in the article, but everyone who has talked to me about their imposter syndrome has been a woman. All of quotes selected by the (female) au

by krrrh 13y ago

This doesn't come up in the article, but everyone who has talked to me about their imposter syndrome has been a woman. All of quotes selected by the (female) author are also from women. I've found it really frustrating how much learned self-doubt some of the most talented and intelligent people I know (who happen to be women) seem to struggle with. I think this shows how important successful female role models are for young women, especially in male-dominated fields like business and programming. edit: fixed typos

Domenic_S 13y ago
Just spitballing here, but in my experience guys tend to not open up about their imposter syndrome, perhaps because it shows weakness.
- efnx 13y ago
  That could be true. I know I have a pretty heavy case of imposter syndrome, but in times of my own egomania I like to think that it's actually just the other side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. As long as it isn't debilitatingly severe, imposter syndrome seems more like the trademark of a humble man (or woman). What's wrong with that?
  - britta 13y ago
    Humility is great, but when people call something a "syndrome" (a word usually associated with disorders/diseases), they usually mean that the thing is interfering with your life - humility taken too far, to a degree that is making you feel worse and causing problems for you. Impostor syndrome can mean that you have difficulty taking pride in your work (since all you can see are the problems with it), which makes it difficult to share your knowledge - which isn't good for other people who might want to know about it and learn from it, and isn't good for your reputation and career growth. Impostor syndrome can also mean that it's hard for you to ask questions (and admit that you don't know something!), since you're worried that you don't know as much as you should, which makes your work harder. Not taking pride in your work and not asking questions also means that you're not really being the best role model for people looking up to you - your coworkers, people who work for you, volunteers who help with your project, etc. (This is based on what I learned from the impostor syndrome presentation described at http://adainitiative.org/2013/06/kicking-impostor-syndrome-in-the-head-lessons-from-adacamp-dc-and-sf/ http://adainitiative.org/2013/06/kicking-impostor-syndrome-i... .)
- johnward 13y ago
  I don't know if it's weakness. I'd say it's more along the lines of lack of self confidence. You do tend to see this more from females. Source: male who thinks he has no valuable skills but manages not to get fired somehow.
  - deleted 13y ago
    [deleted]
- tankbot 13y ago
  Glad you posted this, even though you were probably afraid of sounding sexist! :) It's very true, though. Historically men are not allowed to have feelings or ask for help or show weakness. I think this is changing, but I have zero evidence (even anecdotal) to draw from.
- ds9 13y ago
  Thanks for posting that, I'm a male who has had the imposter feeling sometimes. However, I eventually realized 2 things: (a) Learning in any area means learning, among other things, how much there is to know. This makes one feel humble (at best) - yet in reality one's own knowledge is probably way above average by the time you get to this perspective. (b) Some people who appear competent (and in some cases think themselves competent) really aren't. Don't assume too much in either direction!
yeahrightdbag 13y ago
Men feel this way as well, it's pretty normal especially if you have high expectations of yourself and high opinions of people in your field. When I originally read about it, it didn't even mention women. Of course the word "syndrome" wasn't attached to it either....
- _sabe_ 13y ago
  I'd think I have very high expectations on my self, but that don't make me compare myself to others. The reason I aim for perfection is purely philosophical. If I don't make things as good as I can, why do them at all? Only people who do things for worldly matters like money and status, walk around and compare them selves to others in this silly way. :S
  - yeahrightdbag 13y ago
    I'm not talking about comparing yourself to others as far as money or status. I'm talking simply on an individual level. For example, if you're a programmer you might compare yourself to John Carmack, Linus Torvalds, etc. Even on a more realistic level, a new/jr programmer might compare himself to the senior person in his group and think "Wow, I'll never be that good". I totally agree with "If I don't make things as good as I can, why do them at all?" as I've thought along the same lines.
tankbot 13y ago
That's an interesting observation, I didn't even notice. But I can tell you that men definitely think/feel this way too, I'm one of them! It's like a strange kind of bi-polar disorder where (like Tina Fey expressed) you're either riding the ego trip or trying to slide past the depression. The worst part are the mistakes that inevitably occur during each 'phase'. When you're riding the ego trip, it's very easy to slip and make a fool of yourself or cause someone else feel stupid when they're not, while on the other end of the spectrum you make poor decisions because you feel like you're not good enough.
mooreds 13y ago
I found it to be interesting as well. Just anecodata, but my wife and I (I'm a dude) talk about her imposter syndrome all the time. I have it, but don't talk about it much.
deleted 13y ago
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cheald 13y ago
Guy here. I operated under imposter syndrome for a long time. It's diminished as I've learned that it's mostly a lie I tell myself, but I still struggle against it from time to time.

by krrrh 13y ago

Domenic_S 13y ago

Just spitballing here, but in my experience guys tend to not open up about their imposter syndrome, perhaps because it shows weakness.

efnx 13y ago
That could be true. I know I have a pretty heavy case of imposter syndrome, but in times of my own egomania I like to think that it's actually just the other side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. As long as it isn't debilitatingly severe, imposter syndrome seems more like the trademark of a humble man (or woman). What's wrong with that?
- britta 13y ago
  Humility is great, but when people call something a "syndrome" (a word usually associated with disorders/diseases), they usually mean that the thing is interfering with your life - humility taken too far, to a degree that is making you feel worse and causing problems for you. Impostor syndrome can mean that you have difficulty taking pride in your work (since all you can see are the problems with it), which makes it difficult to share your knowledge - which isn't good for other people who might want to know about it and learn from it, and isn't good for your reputation and career growth. Impostor syndrome can also mean that it's hard for you to ask questions (and admit that you don't know something!), since you're worried that you don't know as much as you should, which makes your work harder. Not taking pride in your work and not asking questions also means that you're not really being the best role model for people looking up to you - your coworkers, people who work for you, volunteers who help with your project, etc. (This is based on what I learned from the impostor syndrome presentation described at http://adainitiative.org/2013/06/kicking-impostor-syndrome-in-the-head-lessons-from-adacamp-dc-and-sf/ http://adainitiative.org/2013/06/kicking-impostor-syndrome-i... .)
johnward 13y ago
I don't know if it's weakness. I'd say it's more along the lines of lack of self confidence. You do tend to see this more from females. Source: male who thinks he has no valuable skills but manages not to get fired somehow.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
tankbot 13y ago
Glad you posted this, even though you were probably afraid of sounding sexist! :) It's very true, though. Historically men are not allowed to have feelings or ask for help or show weakness. I think this is changing, but I have zero evidence (even anecdotal) to draw from.
ds9 13y ago
Thanks for posting that, I'm a male who has had the imposter feeling sometimes. However, I eventually realized 2 things: (a) Learning in any area means learning, among other things, how much there is to know. This makes one feel humble (at best) - yet in reality one's own knowledge is probably way above average by the time you get to this perspective. (b) Some people who appear competent (and in some cases think themselves competent) really aren't. Don't assume too much in either direction!

yeahrightdbag 13y ago

Men feel this way as well, it's pretty normal especially if you have high expectations of yourself and high opinions of people in your field. When I originally read about it, it didn't even mention women. Of course the word "syndrome" wasn't attached to it either....

_sabe_ 13y ago
I'd think I have very high expectations on my self, but that don't make me compare myself to others. The reason I aim for perfection is purely philosophical. If I don't make things as good as I can, why do them at all? Only people who do things for worldly matters like money and status, walk around and compare them selves to others in this silly way. :S
- yeahrightdbag 13y ago
  I'm not talking about comparing yourself to others as far as money or status. I'm talking simply on an individual level. For example, if you're a programmer you might compare yourself to John Carmack, Linus Torvalds, etc. Even on a more realistic level, a new/jr programmer might compare himself to the senior person in his group and think "Wow, I'll never be that good". I totally agree with "If I don't make things as good as I can, why do them at all?" as I've thought along the same lines.

tankbot 13y ago

That's an interesting observation, I didn't even notice. But I can tell you that men definitely think/feel this way too, I'm one of them! It's like a strange kind of bi-polar disorder where (like Tina Fey expressed) you're either riding the ego trip or trying to slide past the depression. The worst part are the mistakes that inevitably occur during each 'phase'. When you're riding the ego trip, it's very easy to slip and make a fool of yourself or cause someone else feel stupid when they're not, while on the other end of the spectrum you make poor decisions because you feel like you're not good enough.

mooreds 13y ago

I found it to be interesting as well. Just anecodata, but my wife and I (I'm a dude) talk about her imposter syndrome all the time. I have it, but don't talk about it much.

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

cheald 13y ago

Guy here. I operated under imposter syndrome for a long time. It's diminished as I've learned that it's mostly a lie I tell myself, but I still struggle against it from time to time.